Another life in the day . . .

It's amazing what a little prayer and sleep will do for you. And, after I dropped Dane and Deanna at choir practice last night, Daelyn and I hit Wal-Mart. Dane needed some school socks and a new baseball bat (his is far too heavy, his coach tells me) and Deanna needed a belt.

I came home with a pair of shoes that match my dress for the wedding (Yay! I've been looking all week and never even considered Wal-Mart) and several other treasures and Don found a suitcoat that fits him that he can wear to the wedding. Now I just have to find a dress and shoes for Deanna and I'll be ready to pack.

Dane's class performed "Pecos Bill and Sleufoot Sue" today. The viewing of the play for parents and grandparents was at 9 a.m. There is a later performance for the elementary students. Then a pizza party and a fun day on tap. I picked up Grandpa and arrived about ten till nine to get seats. Dane was already seated on the stage with the curtain pulled. I stood by the stage stairs, got his attention and waved. He smiled a huge smile. He's been so excited. Then I took my seat with Grandpa. About 2 minutes later, Don walked in. He had told Dane he'd try his best to get there but neither of us had any hope. I was floored when I glanced up and saw him coming through the doorway. I grabbed him, drug him to the stage stairs, and Dane saw him. What a difference to that little boy.

He called Don at work yesterday and asked him to make arrangements to be there. I was sitting nearby listening to the conversation.

"But, Dad, our family started with YOU," he pleaded. How many times have I told the children that their father is the head of our family. Now he had a chance to show it. AND HE DID! It was wonderful.

I've never seen such a good children's play. The actors spoke loudly and slowly. You could understand nearly every word. And they paused appropriately after a funny line to allow the patrons to laugh. It was very well done and a lot of fun. Dane couldn't have been prouder.

So, I've lost 8 pounds and bought a size smaller pair of jeans last night at Wal-Mart, too. Only 52 more to go! But at least I'm headed the right direction instead of up, up, up. And, hopefully, I'm also setting a good example for my children who are noticing me getting ice cream for them but refusing their offers of tastes, having salad instead of sandwiches, and cutting back significantly on my dinner portions. They all commented separately at dinner last night. I was glad to be impressing them positively.

Got to pick up Deanna and take her to look for a dress quickly while all she's missing at school is recess. Then maybe I can buckle down to getting packed . . . again. I should be an expert by now. But this is the last family wedding this year - at least the last one we know about. And my weekends of being booked back-to-back end with this one.

I can't think of a nicer way to end a busy season. My sister from California arrives tomorrow with her husband, son, daughter-in-law, and two grandbabies that I've never seen. My nephew, the Best Man, flew in from South America on Monday. My niece and her boyfriend from D.C. are also arriving in Atlanta tomorrow. Any my sweet Alicia, of course, will be coming up from Statesboro for her brother's wedding. In addition, my brother (whose son was married last weekend) has made arrangements to drive over for the rehearsal dinner with the newlyweds, so I'll get to see him and my nephew and new niece-in-law (I guess I can call her that - my nephew's new wife) again. A real family gathering!

So I'll plod through the preparations once more. I'm sure the celebration this weekend will be worth all the planning and work.

And there will be rest for the weary on Monday!

Down in the Dumps

Not quite sure if it's fatigue or too much on my plate or a combination of both, but I've been struggling with feeling very discouraged. I'm headed to bed early to spend some time praying with Don and get some rest.

Hopefully, my attitude will improve tomorrow and I'll be able to stop looking forward to death as a time of rest!

The Truth Finally Comes Out

I heard Donovan whining and discovered my bedroom door closed. When I opened it, he backed away. Deanna was sitting on the floor reading the Sunday comics that Don had handed to me at bedtime last night and I had tossed on the floor so I didn't wake up with newsprint tattooed on my face. I sat on the bed and encouraged Donovan to come close so I could snuggle him. Just then, Deanna roared.

"Gumby and the Clay Boys!" She handed me the comics. I glanced over them quizzically, then asked her what she meant.

"Right there, Mom. Gumby and the Clay Boys."

I looked again. In one of the comic strips I never read, a little boy was playing with characters from Gumby's band. A parent was sitting in an easy chair reading the paper as the little boy pedaled past on his tricycle with several characters from "Gumby" in tow. In the last frame, the parent crosses his legs and Gumby is stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

"Umh," I responded distractedly. A good many years ago, I had checked out a Gumby movie from the library. Deanna and Dane sat mesmerized and must have watched the movie 100 times in a row. I never could quite see what they saw in a cheap, poorly-shot, Grade C movie about clay figures that came alive, but when we tried another time a couple of years later to check it out from the library and discovered some other child had never returned the video, Don and I started an all-out hunt for a Gumby movie to purchase for our heart-broken Clay Boys' (Gumby's band) fanatics. I hadn't thought about Gumby in a couple of years, though I'm sure we still have the movie we searched so diligently to find. Again, I was struck by how strange the Gumby phenom was. My children watched the movie by the hour. They never tired of it and had all the goofy songs memorized. And, apparently, it wasn't only my children. Some other kid liked it so much he kept the movie and here Gumby was in the funny comics. I shook my head just thinking about it. Weird, this fascination with Gumby and the Clay Boys. Gumby was a popular toy when I was a child, but I had never seen a Gumby movie. Nor was I entranced when I watched it with my children. But no amount of reasoning changed their opinion. Gumby was "cool". He was green, made of clay, could change his shape, and was make-believe, but he was "cool". He wasn't Fonzie, the coolest character ever to grace a TV screen. Or James Dean, who was before my time. Not even Clint Eastwood or (ooh, I'm swooning even thinking about the name) Robert Redford. There was nothing even remotely cool about Gumby that I could see.

I tossed the paper on the bed to read tonight before lights out and Deanna and I started to walk out of the room.

"Hard to believe I had a crush on a clay figure," she said quietly.

The Race is On

I just don't know why I've been in such a slump of late. I don't feel like I have anything to say. While there's lots going on in my life, much of what I'm dealing with is personal and I don't want to share it with the internet.

It was wonderful to see my brother and his family over the weekend. My sister-in-law was very happy and we got to see the whole family, even my nephew who's going through Army basic training. We even got to have breakfast with the honeymooners Sunday morning before they left for Florida and we left for Augusta.

The downside was that we're all exhausted. The children did wonderfully in the van for 6 hours on a Saturday morning and I was very pleased with the way they behaved at the wedding. But we had very late nights and were just worn out by the time the reception was over. We pushed the issue a little too much to try and fit in a visit and kept them out even later, which took a toll on all of us. By the time we got home Sunday afternoon, Don and I were both sicker and we all went into a new week just plumb worn out.

The baseball situation doesn't help any. We signed Dane up to play baseball with the Rec Department this year, hoping he would be drafted onto the team coached by his classmate's dad. He wasn't. Instead, he was picked up in the second round by another coach who's wonderful and an excellent teacher, but who loves the game so much that he doesn't want to end practice at night. He told us the first night that practices would be from 6 to 7:30. We have yet to finish before 8:15 and, most nights, it's 8:30 before parents start pulling their kids off the field and the coach finally give in. Add to that the 4 nights/week of practices and it makes for very tired players.

Tonight I like to have frozen to death. The temperature was 57 when I got in the van to bring Dane home. I was so cold, it was spreading up my back and into my shoulders and I could feel my neck tightening. Then it started to rain. And Dane has three more of these practices this week. I wasn't the first parent to pull their child off the field, nor the second, but when I pulled Dane off, the coach told all the players who had already batted that they could leave.

This weekend is the last one we have planned for a while. I'd just like to have one weekend at home with my family. While the trips skiing, retreating with Deanna, going to the Family Reunion, hiking on Cumberland Island with 9 eleven year old girls, and a family wedding were all fun, I'm just plain wore out.

Maybe next Monday will feel less like a Marathon and more like a Sprint. I think I could finish a Sprint.

Here's hoping.

Nuttin' but Good

Amanda was moved to a Rehab hospital this afternoon. Gone is the airbed and they told her she's scheduled for 3 hours of rehab tomorrow. She told her Daddy that the hard, regular bed was fine. Grandma said she doesn't know if that's true or the result of pain meds. In any case, on Saturday, she's 12 weeks post-accident and the pelvic specialist says she can begin weight-bearing exercises. I'm thrilled she's embarking on the next stage in her recovery, but she's a little frightened, as is her family.

We are heading out tomorrow to marry off my nephew - Wilfred Charles Hunt III or Chad as the family calls him. Don and I both have colds and are feeling crummy. The kids are excited about seeing their cousins.

Lots of news that I need to post. I've tried for several days to post but we were having some difficulties. I finally discovered Don had taken our internet access off-line for some work he was doing.

Anyway, got to get to bed - we have a 5-hr. drive tomorrow. And lots of laundry to do on Sunday.

It's been so long since we've had a weekend for just our family to spend together without "something scheduled" that I can't remember how to "be" a family. But I'm sure we'll get there eventually. After all, summer's coming.

Pray for my sweet Amanda and her mama who most likely won't be able to stay with her at night anymore. That's going to be very hard for both of them at first. But it's such a positive transition.

Slowly, slowly

Don and I are still both struggling with feeling poorly. And Dane doesn't seem to be quite bouncing back.

We had a Family Reunion of sorts this weekend and were away Friday and Saturday. When we got home Saturday night, in the midst of the pouring rain, lighting, and winds, we all headed quickly to bed. We slept in this morning and went to church late - the 11:30 service. On the way, I asked Don how he was feeling.

"I thought I was feeling fine until I stopped taking pain medicine. Now my throat hurts and I have a headache."

I'm still feeling weak and tired as well, and my stomach's doing strange things. Dane has been doing more sleeping than usual and complained this evening before bed of his stomach and head.

Before we left for West Virginia, my mother-in-law told me that she had been sick and was struggling to get better. She said everyone up there had told her it took about 3 weeks to really feel better. I'm beginning to understand.

Unfortunately, I don't have 3 weeks. This Thursday, I leave with Deanna's Little Sister's group (like Pioneer Girls) for a 3-day trip to Cumberland Island that's the culmination of their 5-year program. This is the last year of Little Sisters for them.

We're all going to have to try to get some sleep the early part of this week so we'll be in a little better shape come next week. Deanna and Dane have both finished their reports now and we celebrated Daelyn's birthday tonight at Chuck E. Cheese, so we should have a LITTLE slack this week, although Dane has baseball practice Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

Maybe, just maybe we'll get some rest and begin to feel better soon.

Around here, we share!

Dane ran a fever all weekend. It started Friday night and kept me from being able to go to the Crosswalk and spend time on Good Friday preparing for Easter. By Saturday night, I was really worried about him. He had broken out in blisters between his top lip and nose that were filled with green pus. His nose was nasty and he seemed to need to blow it every 20 seconds. I called the nurse on call for my pediatrician and she told me her guidelines read that I need only be concerned if his fever was for 72 hours. I missed out completely on Easter.

Don arrived home from England on Friday night to a very happy Mommy. So, Daddy took his oldest and youngest to church on Easter and I stayed home with sick boy. By Sunday night, Daelyn's throat was REALLY red and was hurting, so I kept both boys home from school on Monday and scheduled appointments for all three - Deanna was sporting a nasty cough.

Turns out, Deanna has a sinus infection. Dane has a very severe sinus infection and Daelyn has strept throat. Our pediatrician started all three on antibiotics and the boys couldn't go back to school until Wednesday.

Around Monday, Don mentioned that he was feeling poorly. By Tuesday, I had a sore throat and a headache. Tuesday night, I got the shakes and couldn't stop shivering. I ran the bath as hot as our water will run and stepped into it, hoping to scald the fever out of me. No luck. As soon as I stepped out of the bath, I began to shiver and shake again.

By Wednesday morning, I was in rough shape. My throat and neck were killing me, I was sore and stiff all over, and my head pounded. I was running a temp of 101.9. By the evening, it peaked at 102.4. Last night, Don and I got the kids to bed rather late, then headed to bed ourselves at 9 p.m. My fever broke during the night and I woke up dripping with sweat.

Don and I are both feeling better today, but not quite up to running speed. Dane has a state report on Washington due tomorrow that he was assigned the day before Easter break and wasn't reminded about since he hadn't been at school. Deanna's big 5th grade state report was due two days ago, her huge test for which she had to know every state capital, the great lakes, the Pacific, Atlantic, Gulf of Mexico, and Mississippi River locations, and be able to write the names of every state on a map of the U.S. was today. Tomorrow, she has to dress in her state costume (which she's decided will be ski bibs since her state is Colorado) and take in a state food (salsa - there's a HUGE Hispanic population in Colorado - the 5th largest of any state in the country, and Colorado holds an annual Chile Festival), so I've had a little bit to do around here.

To add to our stress, we have to leave after school tomorrow for a weekend celebration out of town. We're not exactly prepared.

I'd better get to bed. I just realized I haven't made any arrangements for Donovan for the weekend. I'm going to need lots of energy tomorrow.

Good in So Many Ways

Time for an update on Amanda. It's almost all good news.

She still is having a lot of pain and they can't quite figure out why. She suspected for a while that it was a result of the pain killers in suppository form, but now has ruled that out. There are a number of different things going on with her that are difficult to identify.

On the upside, however, she finally received a visit from the pelvic surgical specialist, Dr. Rosenblum. He told her and her mother that he's been monitoring her case and that he's pleased with the position in which her pelvis has begun to heal AND that he's ready to remove the Fixator, the tinker-toy contraption that has been moving her pelvis, pulling it slowly back together. He has her scheduled for surgery tomorrow or, if she's bumped because of a trauma, for Thursday to remove the pins, the fixator, and get a good look inside her. Once the fixator is removed, she can begin heavy therapy in preparation for moving to a Rehab facility. He also told her that he believes any rehab hospital will take her once the fixator's off.

Everytime, through this whole ordeal, when we've felt that we've reached the end of the rope, the Lord has thrown out a new lifeline. EVERY TIME, without fail! It's just unbelievable to go back and track the various situations and see God's hand guiding, providing, protecting. He must have a plan for Amanda. He's spent a considerable amount of time dealing with her health.

We've been talking recently about why the initial pelvic surgery never happened. It's become obvious to me that the Lord blocked it. We don't know why, but it could have been something like that Amanda would not have survived the surgery or that the Lord knew it wouldn't be necessary. In any case, we're now very thankful that surgery was never done.

We still have a roller-coaster ride on our hands. We never move consistently forward without getting knocked back, but we were warned about that from the very beginning. And Amanda really IS doing much better.

We need to keep praying for God's intervention and protection and for the perfect place and situation for Amanda. He's done so much work now, I'm convinced he will continue to answer our prayers.

It's a little overwhelming to think about the whole situation and how close we came to losing her. On Easter, her trauma doctor came to see her and told her that they had gotten another patient in with similar pelvic injuries to Amanda's, but without the abdominal involvement. He lived only 2 hours. The doctor stressed that patients with Amanda's injuries don't survive. But there she is - sitting up in bed, using the straight iron on her hair to get it looking pretty before Alex gets to the hospital to visit, fussing at me to move out of the way of her mirror. OUR Amanda. The same girl we loved before that Friday night accident that nearly claimed her.

God is good. He is merciful. And He has a plan for our precious girl.

Thank you, Lord.

Slip of the Tongue

Deanna and I sat at the kitchen table tonight finishing dinner. Dane had already finished and was running his bath. Daelyn was playing and Don took Donovan out to tinkle while he put the garbage can at the curb. I was just putting a peach slice in my mouth when Don walked by the kitchen windows.

Says Deanna, "Daddy sure looks at lot like the Count of Monte Crisco, doesn't he?"

As I snorted, trying to keep from swallowing my peach whole, I reminded her that the name of the movie I bought Dane for Easter was, "The Count of Monte CRISTO" and, yes, Daddy looked very much like the Count, but very little like the big tub of vegetable shortening in the pantry.

Deanna strikes again.

Good News, Good News

My nephew, Russell Edward Barnes II, or Russy as we've always called him (Amanda's younger brother) is engaged!

He asked his girlfriend of 2 years, Ashley, to be his wife and she accepted.

We're very excited. She's wonderful and we're thrilled to have her in the family. They came to see me a few minutes ago to give me the good news.

A spot of brightness that we so desperately need.

Complications

One of Amanda's pin sites that is holding the fixator in place against the hipbone (the fixator is attempting to bring her pelvis back together again and is attached to Amanda's hips with steel pins) is infected. Before I left for WV, it was infected but, while I was gone, it got very swollen and very red. Everytime Amanda moves, the pins tear at the skin and the hole in the skin is getting bigger and bigger. While I was gone, I called back to check on her and was told that they had taken her for an MRI to determine if the infection was in the bone. It wasn't. The bone was still clear. But they have determined that the infection is the antibiotic-resistant strain of staff that's so prevalent in hospitals these days. She's on IV antibiotics to knock out the infection which is pretty tenacious.

They also got the news yesterday that all the other hospitals that Amanda could transfer to have refused to accept her case. She's not yet well enough for rehab but so much improved that the other hospitals don't feel she still needs round-the-clock nursing care. She is going to have to leave the hospital soon and has nowhere to go.

She'll have to be moved home, but she can't yet get into a wheelchair, her family lives in the country down dirt roads, 25 miles from the hospital. She would have to be moved back and forth by ambulance for all of her doctor's visits and her home isn't handicapped accessible. There are huge issues that, at this point, seem insurmountable.

One thing is certain: the hospital will not keep her much longer. They will insist on her leaving. When that happens, things around here are going to get pretty harried.

The Lord has guided their every step so far and we believe he will continue to guide. But please pray for peace for the family and clarity from all the confusion that seems to be constantly surrounding this situation.

She is having a lot of pain and is pretty sick from the infection. She seems to have taken a downturn emotionally, and all this stress about moving doesn't help.

Things are looking pretty grim once again. We just have to keep remembering that God is in control. He is. He has been. He will continue to be.

He is.

Coming and Going

We got home yesterday from West Virginia. We had a wonderful visit with Don's parents and it was very relaxing, despite the continuous rain. On my birthday, Monday, Deanna and I had some errands to run, so we picked up some crafts for the boys to keep them occupied in case of rain. We were very pleased the next day that we had taken the plunge when we woke up to a monsoon.

We also made incredible time traveling - both directions. We left home right about 4 a.m. last Friday morning and arrived at my in-law's at 1:30, having had lunch even. It usually takes us about 12 hours and it's not unheard of to stretch the trip to 14 hours. The children, the dog and I made it in 9 1/2! We did even better on the return trip. I wanted to avoid traffic so I attempted to leave even earlier - at 3:30. However, Don wanted me to call him before we left and, when I did, he was driving to work and couldn't take down my cell phone number, so I had to wait for him to get to work and call me back. We pulled out of the driveway at 3:45 a.m. and arrived home at 12:20 - a miraculous 8 hours and 35 minutes later.

The children are becoming so much better at traveling. We only stopped once - for them to dress and go to the bathroom and so I could get gas. Then we drove through a Burger King and got a biscuit for me and cheesy tots for the kids to go with their cold cereal and milk. When they began getting bored, they'd entertain each other. We sang songs, listened to a CD, visited, and they played with the dog. It was a very pleasant drive with no grumpies or fussies.

We were prepared to pick Don up from the airport at 9 tonight. At 6:16 a.m. (why has this week involved so many early mornings? The children are out of school! Can I not PLEASE sleep?) the phone rang. Knowing it had to be Don, I quickly answered with the question, "What's up, honey?"

"They've overbooked the flight and want me to delay my travel until tomorrow."

"What are they offering?" I asked, willing my fuzzy brain to work.

"They'll fly me Business Class tomorrow (which means more perks than just the flight - he can board early and avoid the long lines, he can use the Business Class lounge in Manchester AND Atlanta for his lay-overs and they'll actually page him in the lounge to let him know when it's time to go board the plane, but, more importantly, they allow 30 more pounds per piece of luggage for all that English stuff he's bringing me!), they'll put me up overnight tonight, they'll give me 200 pounds in cash (English money, not weight), and a voucher for a future Delta flight."

I really didn't want Don to delay his flight by one day. When he first asked me about going back to England and told me they promised to have him home by Easter, I asked him to please get home before Good Friday so he could join me and the children for the meaningful activities that prepare us for Easter. I really wanted him back in time for Good Friday. Now, here he was calling, asking me if he could delay his return one day, missing Good Friday. I was very conflicted.

"What do you want to do, honey," I asked.

"Well, it's a pretty good deal."

"Tell them 'yes' and I'll see you tomorrow night."

These last 39 hours are, by far, the hardest. I've missed him more today than I have for days at a time. But soon. He'll be home soon.

Still have that wine . . .

Missing Don

I'm really starting to miss Don. Truthfully, though, it has been a little easier this time - possibly because I've just been so busy and, also, having Nicki living with us means I'm not alone all night. But the resolve is wearing thin and I'm starting to feel like I'm going to tear up everytime I talk with him.

I missed speaking with him yesterday. I tried to call once and couldn't get through. By the time I got back around to it, it was too late in England. I needed to hear his voice and just have a chance to visit with him today, but he was having dinner with some co-workers/friends when I called and didn't really have time to talk. He encouraged me to call back later, but I have to take the children to choir practice during the time that he should be moving towards home for the night. I may just try and call him during the day tomorrow, although I have tons to do to get ready for our trip to West Virginia.

My mother-in-law wrote and said they had 4 inches of snow on Sunday. The children are ever so hopeful it'll snow again while we're there. I bought Dane and Daelyn both new winter coats while we were out shopping for Easter after school yesterday. They both needed warmer coats (Dane's is just a shell with no lining for warmth) and K-Mart had them at 50% off the final clearance price. I got them both really nice coats for $10 each.

Dane was ecstatic and kept commenting that they might need heavy coats in West Virginia. If they had snow at my in-law's on Sunday, Virginia will probably be quite cold. It's usually about 15 degrees colder in parts of Virginia through which we must drive than in West Virginia. Once, coming home during Holy Week, we hit a blizzard in Virginia and there was quite a bit of snow and ice. We stopped at a Cracker Barrel to eat and were afraid we wouldn't be able to get back out of the parking lot.

When I chokingly told Don today that I was missing him terribly, he said, "Only a little while now, Mommy, and I'll be home." That's true. He's halfway through his trip. And this time, things seem to have gone a little smoother for him. He's much more comfortable this time and has a vehicle to drive.

I can't even begin to imagine how I'd function if my husband worked out-of-town routinely. I suppose our life would be very different, but I'd hate to give up my dependence on Don. I was single for so many years, waiting to marry and be able to rely on another person. I'm not quite willing to give it up after only 12 years.

One more week. I can do that. I've got a big bottle of wine.

News

Dane had his gastroendoscopy this morning at the same hospital where Amanda now resides. While we were waiting to get called back for pre-op, my mother walked over to Amanda's room and returned with my sister. She said Amanda was downright perky this morning, for the first time since the accident. This was very good news.

I called Don in England today and he didn't answer his cellphone, which I found puzzling. A few minutes later, he called me back and told me that he was driving at the time and couldn't negotiate the roads on the wrong side of the car, the wrong side of the street, shifting on the left, and answer his phone at the same time (not to mention the fact that it's illegal to talk on your phone while driving in England). It seems the Company has given him a minivan to drive for the two weeks he's there. Hallelujah! Maybe that means he'll get to a grocery store and pick up some Tate & Lyle's Golden Syrup and crumpets for me and the kids. It's still a little surprising to me how hooked we got on some English foods.

I got the children in bed at 6:00 tonight. We're all overtired and, with the time-change and Dane's procedure today, everyone needed a little extra rest. I laid down with the boys and fell asleep, waking up chilled to the bone. Time for a nice cup of hot tea.

The news about Amanda was so encouraging and, now that we're through the meal I had to prepare for the Vestry at my church yesterday and Dane's procedure today, I think I might be able to sleep - not too well, though, without my honey next to me. And, no, Donovan doesn't count.

So, there's lots for which to be thankful tonight. The Lord saved my niece and is working on healing my son. Life is full, but good. I feel sorry for people who get bored. I'd love to have the opportunity - just for two weeks or so. Get caught up on all my mending and cleaning, menu planning and laundry, organizing and sorting, cleaning out closets and the attic, and then have time to just relax! Isn't that a wonderful thought.

But this is good, too.

God's Promise

A rainbow - God's promise of hope to us.

Amanda will be moving to a Rehab facility, hopefully, in 2 weeks. Her other injuries are almost 90% healed. The goal at this point is to get her sitting up and well enough to move into rehab. This is all great news and now, at least, we feel like we understand where we're moving.

Wash Dog

A little challenging to strip the bed. When I picked up the covers to dump them in the wash, it seemed they were a little heavy. I laid them back down and this is what I found.


There's a family meeting with the medical team working on Amanda in her room this morning at 10 a.m. Hopefully, some issues will get worked out. Please pray for clarity and peace.

My Eldest Son

Okay, I found a few of Dane - with his puppy the day we got Donovan, a very green Dane celebrating his mother's St. Patrick's Day birthday, and tuxed out as the Ring Bearer in his oldest cousin's wedding in California on a golf course several years ago. I added that one, even though it's really old, because he looks so handsome. Don't you agree? He's available, for a small fee.

My Babies - or two, at least

A couple more pictures to share with you. I need a distraction from writing about the hospital.

The first is Mr. Mischief. Can't you just see it? This was Daelyn on the first day of Kindergarten. He was thrilled to be sitting with all his best buddies.

The next is my beautiful ballerina. I'm still searching for a great picture of Dane. I have one of him sitting at a grand piano after his Piano Recital, but someone else took it and I'll have to scan it, so that won't happen today.

Day 40 Update

Today was the 40th day. Amanda's accident was on January 26, my brother's birthday and my parent's anniversary.

Things really are improving. She IS doing better. There have been a lot of baby steps to bring us to this point. She's conscious (a miracle), her pelvis is fusing into an acceptable position, her bladder is working, and the other trauma to her abdomen seems to have mostly resolved.

The issues at present are: she has a sore on the back of her head from never being off it, she has a significant friction rash, she has gaps in her skin going down the whole front of her body where her skin was just tacked together rather than really sewn up, the skin around her belly button is infected, she has pins in both hips that are tearing through the skin and one pin site is infected, she is just recovering from a bladder infection, she has a bedsore on her back, she has a large (about 6 in. in diameter) hole in her leg where dead tissue was excised, she has some stitches in the other leg that are infected, her blood pressure is extremely low (84 over 68), she is having constant severe pain in her back suddenly, she's getting nauseated everytime she eats now, and she seems to need an inordinate amount of sleep. She has yet to incline over 45 degrees, but they daily talk about getting her in a chair. The step-down hospital has refused to take her because she's "too well" and the rehab hospital says they probably won't be able to take her because she's not well enough. Meanwhile, MCG can't seem to get rid of her fast enough and the doctors are daily asking when she's going to another hospital, making everyone feel like they just want her to vacate their bed.

Do I sound a little frustrated? She's ready for it all to be over and has said several times, "Just put me in an ambulance and take me home!" Of course, there's no way we can do that. She needs more care than my sister can handle alone at this point and, obviously, she needs daily care from a doctor.

It's SO-O-O-O-O frustrating! It doesn't seem like the doctors are even operating in the same world as us. It's as if they don't even see the whole picture anymore. I'm sure there's things they know that we don't, but doesn't this sound like someone who needs a hospital?

My sister has the patience of Job. I've already blown my stack several times and I'm only there for a couple of hours a day. She's dealing with the doctors, nurses, technicians all day long everyday.

I've decided that I've got to focus on the positive, but it's very hard to do when the negative at this point seems to run roughshod over the positive. It's as if the insurance company said, "We're not paying anything else!" so the medical community is bowing out. In fact, that may be close to the truth. The whole issue of moving her is being driven by the insurance company. Medical care in this country is no longer managed by physicians - it's managed by the insurance industry. If they refuse to pay the bills, doctors don't want to treat and hospital administration scurries to make amends.

Perhaps I'm just raving but the situation seems so unnecessarily difficult. This girl has been through so much - why are they putting her through all this stress?

We don't have any answers - just tons of questions. Prayer, it seems, is the only solution.

Pray . . . please!

Confusion

I stayed home from the hospital yesterday to get the laundry done and try to get the house put in order or, at least, begin the process. I planned to go to the hospital once Don got home from work.

I did my Blog Post after talking with my father. Later in the morning, my sister called and began to fill me in on the latest. My father had a few of the details . . . uh, make that ALL the details . . . wrong. They hadn't toured the other hospital. My sister and brother-in-law went over to talk with the people and were told by the hospital administration that they didn't have time. Several other facts were incorrect, as well, and there seems to be a tremendous amount of confusion swirling around Amanda.

Her doctor has told her that she will continue to treat Amanda and that the other hospital will take her back and forth so she can attend clinic. The pelvic specialist is supposed to have his Georgia license tomorrow and then will get to work on coming up with a plan to get Amanda walking again. He will also ring in on Amanda's treatment and will see her in Clinic.

Apparently, none of that is correct. The other hospital does NOT shuttle their patients and their patients are seen by their staff doctors, not physicians from another facility. Furthermore, because of the severe trauma to Amanda's pelvis, they're not sure their doctors are willing to sign onto the case. REALLY? What a surprise. We've waited for this pelvic specialist and now, just as he finally gets his credentials and can actually help, they plan on removing Amanda from the facility where he practices.

This is all unbelievable! And now there's serious concern over Amanda's care again. What if the orthopedic people at this other hospital decide to try but, further into the process, are incapable of dealing with the extent of Amanda's injuries. What then? Nobody seems to have any clear answers to these questions.

Apparently, the move is driven by insurance. But how can an insurance company require her to move to a facility that can't care for her medical needs? I told my sister last night that she needs to find out if Amanda's case has been referred to a Major Case Manager who works for the insurance company. Since my career was as a Human Resources Generalist Specialist, I know a little about how insurance functions. However, this isn't medical insurance. It's vehicular insurance, and I know nothing about this arena. I suggested that Trina call the Insurance Commissioner to get some straight answers. She said she thinks she'll just wait, that they're not rolling Amanda's bed out the door just yet and lots more may happen before they do.

In addition, Amanda currently is trying to heal from 5 infections. She's trying to minimize the amount of pain medication she takes because the narcotics stop her up so badly, leading to other problems. The pins in one hip are causing her a great deal of pain. At first, the site around the pins was red, now the redness has moved in a much larger circle out from the pins and is spreading up her back. Her doctor told her yesterday that she may be having an allergic reaction to the pins, but the other side is fine. It seems that, if it were an allergic reaction, her body would respond the same way on both sides. Her doctor told them yesterday morning that she was calling in ortho to look at the pin site. They didn't show up yesterday.

It does seem that Amanda is getting better, but a chronic illness carries with it lots of other types of problems. Now we're dealing with these peripheral problems as we wait for the pelvis to heal enough that she can move to the next stage of healing.

Please pray against confusion. I don't know how my sister doesn't go crazy! She DID have a migraine for 4 days. It finally went away yesterday, but it's left her weak and frail, which she certainly doesn't need right now. Some answers to all these questions would set everyone's minds more at ease.

Today, I'm running errands for my sister and beginning to look for clothes for my family for Easter and the weddings of my two nephews one week apart in April. Oh, and I need to begin packing Don. He's working today to book a flight for Thursday. He finally got all the necessary approvals for the trip yesterday.

When I went up to the hospital yesterday evening, Amanda was asleep and Trina was gone. My brother-in-law was sitting with his daughter, so we had a nice visit, but I want to SEE Amanda, so I plan on spending some time up there during the day today. So . . . I better get moving. Maybe tomorrow we'll know more.

Many fronts

Deanna and I got home around 8 p.m. last night. We went to Stone Mountain, Ga for our retreat and had a wonderful time. We stayed at a Marriott Resort where I had stayed once on Company business. I purchased a package deal that included two 2-day tickets to the park and the Resort had a shuttle that took us back and forth, so it was quite nice.

After tucking the boys in and kissing Don, I called my father. He said that Amanda will be moved on Tuesday to a step-down, chronic-care hospital. My sister and her husband went over and toured the facility over the weekend and visited with some of our friends from the ICU waiting room who have also been moved there. They both felt good about the hospital and have agreed to the move. It seems it's a positive step forward - Amanda no longer needs the care of an acute hospital, which means she's improving.

She currently has 5 different infections that she's fighting. That's all the more reason to get her out of this hospital. There should be less bugs floating around the chronic care hospital.

Daelyn climbed in bed with me this morning after Don left for work and is coughing quite a bit. I'm a little concerned about him. He had pneumonia two weeks ago, and it seems to me he may not be completely over it. He has a recheck with his pediatrician on Thursday.

Don went to see his doctor again on Friday for the second time in a week. They put him on more antibiotics and steroids. He seems to be feeling better although he was up during the middle of the night. I hadn't yet fallen asleep (I have a love-hate relationship with Starbuck's) when he jumped out of bed and didn't return. This morning, I asked him why he didn't come back to bed. He said I was snoring too loud. I didn't put on my sleep apnea mask last night - I was just too tired to bother with it. So my husband paid the price. I'm going to have to do better about that.

I'm actually feeling pretty good, although I didn't sleep well last night or Friday night in the hotel. Don will be leaving for England, which means I won't sleep well for two weeks, either, so I'm going to need to go to bed early a few nights this week before he leaves to get caught up.

Dane is scheduled for gastroendoscopy next Monday. It's a surgical procedure that they'll do in the hospital under general anesthesia (twilight sleep). I'm a little concerned about going through this without Don. Please say a little prayer for me. I'm hoping to take advantage of the sleepless nights without Don to get some things done in that house that are sorely behind schedule.

Other than that, life is very typical this fine, almost-spring Monday morning. The laundry awaits me, so I will sign off for now.

Maybe I can manage another cup of coffee (instant, decaf) after switching laundry loads.

Amanda

Amanda's case is getting very confusing. They've decided once and for all to not do a big pelvic surgery due to the trauma to her abdomen. Now, we're just waiting. The new pelvic guy at MCG is supposed to get his credentials to practice in GA on March 5. Then he is to come up with a plan of action, laying out each step to get Amanda walking again - according to the Trauma doc, her attending physician.

They've told my sister that she won't be going home until that plan is clearly laid out. Meanwhile, (in another part of town) they received a visit from a hospital Social Worker who informed Amanda that she'll be moving from this hospital which is an Acute Care Hospital to another one in town, a private hospital, that is a Chronic Care hospital. When my sister explained what the trauma doc had told her, she flipped her lid. It seems that it's unheard of for someone to be in the hospital for 6 weeks these days. As soon as they are no longer acute, they're moved to a different facility.

However, Amanda still has some huge issues, not to even mention her 5 pending surgeries. She still has infection in her sutures as well as several other infections. She isn't getting enough calories so they're feeding her at night via her feeding tube, but she's having trouble tolerating it and is getting sick. She cannot keep her bowels moving. She'll go 4 or 5 days in a row without being able to void. She has no abdominal muscles to help with this process and this is a very significant issue.

There are many more issues, several of which have the potential to be life-threatening, but they still want to move her along to a different hospital. She's very frightened by this, particularly after her trip to Columbia.

This situation still needs tons of prayer. Pray for peace, against confusion, and for clarity for all the situations swirling around Amanda.

I'm leaving now to take my daughter on a retreat. We have a book and workbook by James Dobson on preparing for adolescence that we'll be working through this weekend.

Don will be going to England again soon. The paperwork is waiting for the necessary approvals. The next couple of weeks will be challenging with him gone.

On a lighter note, below are pictures from our vacation to Vail last summer. The ski slopes were unbelieveable as was the beautiful scenery. The last two pictures are from Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs - one at Whit's End (a ice cream shoppe) and the wardrobe from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe", through which we walked into Narnia.

Hope you enjoy the pics. It's sure taken me long enough!

We had a very exciting thing happen last week. But the story starts back in October of last year.

We went camping for Deanna's birthday (some of you may remember) and on Sunday, as we were just finishing packing up, I noticed a bright, fluorescent green thing on the steps. When I examined it closer, it was a caterpillar but quite unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It had spikes on its back and hairs coming out of the spikes. Don said that meant it was poisonous. It was so beautiful and so unusual that we brought it home in Dane's fishing worm container. We put it in a jar with some of Grandma's fennel, made some holes in the lid, and showed him off to the entire neighborhood. The kids couldn't wait to take him for Show and Tell.

The next morning, however, our caterpillar was gone and, in his place was a cocoon. We were thrilled. I had never had a caterpillar in captivity that had spun a cocoon. I know lots of other people who have experienced this, but I never had.

We did a bunch of research and thought we had a Luna Moth, whose gestation is one week. We patiently waited for our little friend to burrow out of his furball and open his wing. One week led into two and, eventually, into a month. We took him off the fennel and put him in an empty plastic bucket in the kitchen.

As the months rolled on, people would comment that he was dead. But I kept the faith. I'd pick up the cocoon and talk to him and, occasionally, when I jiggled it, he'd jiggle back. Once, he almost rolled the cocoon off the kitchen table.

And there it sat, next to the toaster oven in the plastic container in the kitchen.

Last weekend, while eating lunch after church on Sunday, I noticed Daelyn pointing at the mudroom doorjam with a huge grin on his face. Don followed his pointed finger, then got up from the table and walked behind me. Finally, I turned too and discovered a moth. The whole family jumped up and looked him over.

"I wonder how the kids managed to get HIM in the house," Don said.

That made me pause for a moment to think about it. It was really big. I couldn't imagine it flying past the children while they held the door open. Then Don walked over to the cocoon and picked it up. I shrieked, finally putting two and two together. I rushed to the bucket and looked. The cocoon looked exactly the same. Don put it back down. I picked it up, held it, and began to look it over carefully. At the end, there was the tiniest little hole . . .

Our moth HAD hatched. And he wasn't a Luna, thus the length of time. Don looked him up based on his coloring and he's a type of silkmoth.

We watched him all day as his wings got bigger and dried out. When he began to get fidgety, we opened the door and shooed him out, then Deanna and I watched as he flew away. I couldn't have been prouder if I had birthed him myself. Our little moth had flown the coop.

It was quite an experience for all of us and something the children won't soon forget. Below (at least I hope it's below - I have trouble with this placement template) are some pictures of our little guy before he flew away.

Maybe someday we'll run into one of his babies and smile at the memory.

Swooshing

I took Deanna skiing over the weekend. Two years ago, I promised to take her, but she broke her foot 5 days before the trip and her Orthopedic doctor told us we had to cancel. Last year, we were in England for ski season, so I finally kept my commitment to her and took her. School was cancelled for Friday so we left around noon and headed to the North Carolina mountains.

We drove straight to Sugar Mountain Ski Resort, parked, and walked up to the Lodge. We talked with the employees about ski rentals, then went over to the Ski School building and talked with them. We discovered that it was cheaper to get our skis at a Pro Shop in town, which we did later in the evening, then picked up lift tickets from the only independent dealer in town that sells them. Then we headed back to Boone to check into our hotel and get some sleep.

Nicki went with us and she decided to attend Ski School with Deanna. Although Deanna got off to a rocky start, she ultimately had a wonderful time and learned the basics, now proclaiming herself "a skier". She wants to go back again next year.

I was a little surprised with myself. Though I've had a number of opportunities to ski in my life, it's been many years (12, to be exact) since my last time. I didn't think I'd remember and expected to be a little shaky and uncertain. From the moment I stepped into my bindings, everything flooded back and I was swooshing down the slope, from side to side, in seconds. It amazed me that it all returned and felt so natural, it was like I had never taken off my skis.

We got home around midnight Saturday and, by then, Deanna was pretty sick. She began getting cold symptoms Friday night and, after a full day of skiing, was feeling pretty rough. I kept her home from school today to rest and work on getting better. She'll return to school tomorrow, though.

Amanda's struggling with numerous problems. While small in comparison to what she's already walked through, they're dangerous and very scary, all the same. The biggest concern right now, in addition to several spots of infection, is that they did a calorie count on her for several days and the doctor told my sister that she's barely eating enough to keep her alive. My sister's very concerned that she's going to fall backwards, but Amanda is eating as much as she's able. As of tonight, they're going to start feeding her via her feeding tube through the night to try and up her intake of calories.

I'll write more tomorrow, but right now, I'm having trouble dealing with everything myself and need to rest and think over these new issues. Please continue to pray. Trina's so exhausted she was stumbling around Amanda's room tonight. She needs some GOOD sleep and a little bit of a break from worrying.

I'm heading to bed now - and to hug my husband. We both need it.

Day to Day

Today is my sister's 50th birthday. Amanda wanted to celebrate with her, too, so we took lunch up to the hospital instead of taking her out. Grandma and I swung by Olive Garden and got salad, bread sticks, and seafood fettucini alfredo to share. It was the best I've seen my sister eat since the accident. Several other people had sent birthday cards to her, as well, and she seemed perkier than I've seen her in quite a while. Apparently, they got a good night's sleep.

A doctor came to see Amanda this morning and said he wants to do another cat scan to get a reading on where they're at right now. They've already sent Amanda's films to an pelvic expert in Jacksonville, Florida for a second opinion and we're waiting to hear something on that.

Several of Amanda's exterior wounds have become infected. It seems they didn't irrigate and clean her wounds in Columbia like they had here and some sites began getting red. She showed me her sutures yesterday and the ones around her middle looked kind of rough. Also, around the feeding tube that's inserted in her side the tissue was very red. We are wondering why they've left the feeding tube in. She's eating regular food now and they haven't needed the feeding tube in over a week. Her Wound Vacs have also been removed, rendering routine surgeries unnecessary - YAY! Perhaps the lack of routine surgeries is the reason she still sports the feeding tube. Perhaps it has to be surgically removed and they don't want to take her back into surgery just for that. But that's only speculation.

She had some stitches removed yesterday and the doctor pointed out the infected areas to her. Earlier this week, the trauma doc told my sister that, at present, the only life-threatening issues are the possibility of infection and pneumonia. Now that she has a few infected sites, we really need to pray that the infection doesn't spread.

Amanda seems to be in much better spirits. She's scared that she may have to have the pelvic surgery after all, but is willing to consider whatever's necessary for her complete and total healing. We had a very good discussion today - her mother, Grandma, me, Amanda, and my sister's best friend, about the situation in Columbia and the pelvic surgeon's reasons for not operating. It was quite an open, honest discussion and the best we've had since the accident. In the end, however, it was nothing more than supposition, because there's just too much we don't yet know.

Waiting seems to be the name of the game right now - waiting for input from other pelvic surgeons, waiting to see how her body heals itself, waiting for the trauma docs to consider all the evidence and decide how to move forward. They've very candidly told Amanda that the most typical mistake that people make at this point is to move too fast and they have NO intention of doing that with her. They will consider all the information, from every angle, several times before they make any decisions, and they want Amanda to understand that this process will be very slow and very long.

At least she's back in Augusta with a team of doctors who seem to really care about her and where she feels safe.

Happy Birthday, Sis - I get to rub your age in for another 3 years - until I hit 50!

Humor

Nicki kept Daelyn for me yesterday after school so I could go to the hospital. When I got home, in time for her to leave for work, she told me that she had done Daelyn's homework with him. His class is learning the letter "L l". There must have been a picture of a lion on one of his sheets because they launched into a discussion about lions. Nicki relayed the following conversation to me.

Nicki: "Have you ever seen a real lion?"

Daelyn: "I don't know."

Nicki: "When did you last go to the Zoo?" knowing that the zoo in Columbia, just a little over an hour away, has a lion.

Daelyn: "Three years ago." This is probably pretty close to true. We've been home from England for a whole year already, were there 3 months, and hadn't been to the zoo for quite sometime before we left for England. Three years was a great estimate.

Daelyn: "That would make it about . . . hmh . . . 1979."

Nicki: "Daelyn, you weren't born yet in 1979. I wasn't even born yet. Your mother was probably in high school then."

Daelyn: "Oh. Well, then, it must have been 1981."

His seriousness coupled with the awesome estimate from seconds earlier struck Nicki very funny. Even repeating the story to me, she got tears in her eyes and cracked up laughing several times. It was one of those moments when the stars all align and something seems terribly funny but, when explained, never quite seems the same. Like the time we were in the Outer Banks and we saw the employees of the store in goofy hats and Deanna and I laughed so hard we almost had an accident.

Tomorrow, I'll write an update on Amanda, but, for today, I needed a break. And I'm quite sure you did, as well.

Step Down

Amanda got ousted from Shock/Trauma yesterday. Apparently, two new traumas came in and they needed her bed, but they wanted to put her on the Surgical Ward which is serviced by the Trauma docs so there'd be continuity of care, and there were no beds available there, either.

They moved her to a "holding" ward on the 8th floor while waiting for a room. They decided they needed to do a sonogram on her legs to check for blood clots, so she was moved around like a chess piece. Finally, around 4:30, they moved her to a room on the 4th floor. She was tired, in pain, and cranky after a long, tough day and two tough nights. Saturday night, she started having chest pain and shortness of breath. They charged in with a portable EKG machine, stuck electrodes to her, and determined that her body had reacted to her medicines. Sunday night, her foot went completely numb and her leg felt like it was on fire. My sister feared a blood clot and they were up for hours during the night before they discovered it was something very minor.

After two nights with little to no sleep and a rough day of moving, she finally arrived on the 4th floor. She was anxious to have the nurses finish her transfer and work-up so she could get some pain medicine and rest. But her nurse came in and tried to straighten her legs. Because of her pelvic injuries, her legs are rolled outward and cannot be straightened. My sister calls them "froglegs". When Amanda tried to explain to the nurse that her legs couldn't be moved, the nurse quizzed her about her injuries. Amanda began explaining and the nurse asked if she could see them. Amanda pulled down the covers and showed her. The nurse was shocked and made some exclamation, then told Amanda that they hadn't prepared her for this case. Encouraging news from the person who's supposed to be taking care of you. The nurse flew out of her room and returned a few minutes later with the Charge Nurse. My mom and I stood and watched while the Charge Nurse and Amanda's caregiver reviewed her injuries one by one. It seems they don't usually have patients on this ward quite as sick as Amanda.

Later in the evening, the nurse told my sister that the doctor was on the floor and asked if they'd like to see him. My sister hadn't talked with a doctor all day and was very eager to speak with one. He came in the room, greeted them amiably, then asked Amanda if she had someone to help her when she went home! Amanda hit the roof. He had no understanding of her injuries, either, and was approaching the case as if she would be leaving in a day or two.

Despite these bumps in the road, they had a good night. My sister told me this morning that Amanda received very good care during the night and the nurses were very careful turning her, letting Amanda direct the process.

Today is Day 25 and this is all getting a little old. My sister says she could sleep for 5 straight days and is quite tired of always being in clothes. She said she'd love to be able to slip into a pair of pajamas. I encouraged her to try it, now that Amanda's in a room. She also had a little Chinese food last night instead of the McDonald's burger she nibbles on every few nights. She said it wasn't very good, but anything different was better than McDonald's.

Amanda arrived back at MCG on Friday night and the attending physicians weren't all there over the weekend, so we were waiting for Monday morning when they'd have a chance to talk and come up with a strategy for Amanda. They may have been unable to do that with the traumas that came in yesterday. We're still waiting to be told where we go from here. In any case, we know we still have a long ways to go.

Please pray for our endurance. Now that Amanda is fully conscious and seems to have moved away from death's door, we feel like we can relax a little, but these little issues keep throwing us into tailspins. The reality is, she is still a very sick young woman with HUGE hurdles to overcome and many more surgeries to be completed in the future. Her healing process has only just begun and her body is still split open from the sternum down. Her muscles are unable to be reattached at this point and she has no shelf separating her pelvic region from her abdominal region. One will have to be build for her inside her body, hopefully with her own tissue. She will also need at least one skin graft down the road and the situation with the pelvis is still a huge question mark. There is still a risk of infection, as she still has open wounds, and WILL for a long time to come. From where she lies, trying to get comfortable, this is just the beginning. And our stamina wanes.

Please continue to pray for clear answers, for relief from pain, for rest for my sister and Amanda, for freedom from infection, and for complete and total healing. The prayer that I feel the Lord has laid on my heart is referenced in Psalm: "Lord, you knitted her together in her mother's womb. You made her perfect and complete. Do that work again. Knit her together again, Lord, as perfectly as the first time, in that hospital bed."

Amen.

The Sick D's

Daelyn climbed in bed with Don and me at 2:30 a.m. Friday. He was coughing horribly and I was quite convinced he was VERY sick. Since I was scheduled to teach Dane's class for the day, I asked Don to get him an appointment with the Pediatrician.

After dressing for school, I went into the kitchen to finish lunches and check on the children's progress. Don met me.

"Daelyn says he feels better and wants to go to school."

"Are you crazy? He's sick. He most certainly is NOT going to school. You need to take him to Dr. Miller. I think he has pneumonia."

"He doesn't have pneumonia. And he says he feels better. He's hardly coughed at all the last 1/2 hour. Don't you think he should go to school?"

I emphatically reiterated my previous answer. Then added, "If he doesn't have pneumonia, he at least has a bad case of bronchitis. TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR."

Sure enough. Pneumonia in one lung and wheezing in the other. Antibiotics and breathing treatments. On Saturday morning, I began to get really stuffy and my throat started to hurt. Don's been sick for several days and Deanna's been complaining of a sore throat. I was the last hold-out, probably because I've been at the hospital and home with the children so little.

So, I've been banned from the hospital - at least until I'm better. I'm not allowed to see Amanda and Don insists that I not even go in the waiting room for fear I'll infect Trina. Then we'll really be in bad shape.

I'm trying to stay in touch over the phone, but it's very difficult and I feel like a duck out of water not knowing what's going on. I'm trying to get caught up on my chores while I'm home so I can jump back into the hospital as soon as I feel better.

And taking care of sick Daelyn, sick Deanna, sick Dane, and sick Don.

Return

Amanda was transferred back to MCG this evening and we've once again taken up residence in the Trauma ICU Waiting Room.

To make a long story short, after three days of waiting for the doctors to take her into surgery, after not having seen an orthopedic surgeon, after being treated like a Plaque Victim, after crying until her eyes ached, after the nurses paged the doctor ALL DAY long to get some answers for my sister, she and my brother-in-law finally pinned the doctor down to a conference call. He told them that Amanda's bones have already begun to harden and that the risk of the surgery outweighed the benefit and he was not going to fix her pelvis. They requested a transfer back to MCG and will get a second opinion here.

Evidently, they had another long conversation with the doctor this morning and I've yet to hear the whole story, but Amanda was put back in an ambulance at 5 p.m. and is now resting comfortably, with her mother sleeping at her side in a chair that the nurse brought in for her and disinfected himself. When I parted with my sister in the waiting room, the doctor was in with Amanda and wanted to talk with her mother about her meds and the transfer, so my sister left me in the care of some of our fellow waiting room occupants and said goodnight.

I still have a lot of unanswered questions but my sister has promised to answer them all tomorrow. For tonight, she wants to sleep, as does the rest of the family.

Alex was at Amanda's bedside in Columbia yesterday (for Valentine's Day) and spent the night at a hotel with her parents and the day with her, following the ambulance back to Augusta. He and Amanda smiled at each other and he went in search of a doctor to get her pain medication. They seem to be much closer, having weathered this ordeal.

My sister commented in the waiting room before heading back for the night to the unit, "I never thought I'd be so happy to see a group of people again, but I've missed you all," referring to the other waiting room occupants.

We all are happy to have her home again. And we'll deal with tomorrow on the morrow.

Worse

Things in Columbia are even worse than I realized.

1. You are not allowed to have blankets in the waiting room.

2. If you fall asleep in the waiting room, you are forced to leave. "Waiting rooms are for waiting, not sleeping."

3. The waiting room only has hard, plastic chairs.

4. My sister is only allowed to visit Amanda 3 times a day for 1/2 an hour each visit.

5. She has not yet talked with the pelvic surgeon. She has only spoken to one doctor, who showed up while it was still dark. He said he knew nothing about Amanda's case, had not reviewed her file yet, but wanted to introduce himself. My sister has not yet seen or spoken with the pelvic specialist who is the whole reason Amanda was transferred to this terrible place.

6. Amanda had surgery yesterday and begged them to not put her completely under. After being in a coma for 14 days, she's frightened of being put to sleep. She told them that at MCG they had used her IV and put her in a twilight sleep. They ignored her and put her under, anyway.

7. Amanda cries all the time. She frightened beyond belief and my sister is only allowed such brief visits that she's unable to calm Amanda.

8. She is facing the most serious surgery of her life and still has not yet met the doctor or been reassured. She doesn't know when they plan on operating and, frankly, is in no emotional condition to undergo such a serious surgery.

9. My sister has been unable to sleep, due to Hospital Rules, and I can't believe she'll be able to hold up much longer.

I cannot stress how upsetting this all is. It isn't possible to pray enough for God's intervention. If you know anyone, ANYONE, that doesn't know about my niece and the challenges facing her right now, please contact them and ask them to pray.

Please, Lord, please.

News from Columbia

Things are starting to get scary again. Amanda had surgery today to prepare for the big, upcoming pelvic surgery. They took the pins out of her hips that were holding her pelvis together and closed up some of her chest cavity, but were unable to close the chest and stomach muscles as they had atrophied and would no longer pull together. They will put that issue on hold to deal with later.

They wanted to go in, look over the situation, and make sure there was no infection, which is still a HUGE concern. She looked good and they're ready to begin the long pelvic reconstruction process either Thursday or Friday.

Amanda's having a VERY hard time. She spent most of the night and today crying and her state of mind will have a direct impact on her ability to heal. She's scared and this new environment isn't doing anything to reassure her.

My father and I are driving up tomorrow. Perhaps we can relieve a little of the pressure off my sister and my mother. At the very least, they'll have a new, friendly face to look at.

The situation is very grave. My niece and her family need a great deal of prayer as they prepare for the hardest thing they've ever had to endure.

Lord, pour out your grace and please, please, send your peace. Wash over my niece with the assurance that only can come from you. Hold her in your arms and let her feel your presence, even your breath, upon her body as you continue the healing process. And let her mind rest from worry and care and focus only on you. Lord, bless her and heal her and let her know that it is YOU who saved and are still about saving her.

Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Move

I didn't go to the hospital all day yesterday. My children were out of school and needed a little Mommy-time, as did the laundry and the house.

Once I got them off to school this morning, I headed up. My sister greeted me warmly, then sent me into the room to spell my other sister who was sitting with our niece, but had been there all night and needed to go home and rest.

Amanda and I watched the end of a movie together, then the trauma doctor walked in. Below is pretty close to verbatim what she said.

"I went downstairs and talked to the Chief of Orthopedics about your case. He said that although they have this new pelvic guy on staff, he started as of Feb. 1, he doesn't yet have his Georgia credentials and, until he gets them, there's nothing he can do on your case. It may be a week or two more before he gets a permit to operate in Georgia. So, I've decided to move you to a hospital where they can begin working on your pelvis. I have to transfer you to another Trauma doctor and the hospital where I send you must have an available bed in the Trauma Unit, so I'll be looking at Savannah, Atlanta, maybe Charlotte . . . "

I jumped up, stopped her, and ran to get Amanda's mother. Then I stood and listened while the doctor explained that they just couldn't wait any longer. I got the impression that, if Orthopedics expected the credentials imminently, they might wait, but another week or two was just too long. Early on, they had told us that the bones would begin to harden in about 3 weeks and the pelvic work needed to be begun by that time. Today was day 18.

She said that she wanted to send Amanda by ambulance, not helicopter, and that her mother could most likely ride with her. My sister suggested Columbia and explained that the pelvic specialist who used to be at MCG is now there. The doctor thought it was a very good suggestion. She said she hoped to move Amanda tomorrow.

I took off for the waiting room and Mom and I started calling family - first Amanda's, then the extended family. I had to leave by 12:30 to go pick up Dane from school for a doctor's appointment on the same floor of the same hospital as Amanda, just around the corner.

Dane's appointment finished about 2:45 and we headed for the ICU Waiting Room to say hi. We were greeted by my mother who told me they were moving Amanda between 3:00 and 3:30 to Richland Memorial Hospital in Columbia, SC. I was shocked! But, it seems they had an available room in ICU and the timing had all fallen into place.

Amanda was pretty shook up, as were my sister and Amanda's father. This all happened very fast. And moving meant the family would not be there for support. But, all along, we've prayed for the Lord to open the doors for the best possible care for Amanda, and we trust this is it.

Amanda arrived safely and was getting settled in the new ICU unit. I called my sister around 8 p.m. to check on things. Again, I was shocked. She said that there were at least 50 people in the waiting room (it was amazingly loud), that lots of people were sitting cross-legged on the floor, the room was full of hard, plastic chairs, and there were NO sleeping accomodations. Apparently, people do not sleep there. She went on to tell me that you can only visit from 1 to 1:30, 5 to 5:30 and 8:30 to 9. She said that the unit had four beds per room and they didn't put same sex patients in the same room. She said there was one room where a man was propped up, drooling, while across from him was a woman not fully covered. Amanda was very frightened and started to cry.

My sister sounded pretty shaken, also. But the nurse talked with them and said she would arrange for a private room for my niece and that her mother could stay in there with her tonight. Grandma and Amanda's father are driving home tonight and will drive back to Columbia tomorrow. A medical student is reviewing Amanda's file overnight and plans to brief the necessary doctors either late tonight or in the morning and they will schedule surgery very soon. We'll know more in the morning.

We're all a little shaken by this sudden turn of events. While it's very good news that we got a great pelvic surgery specialist to take on her case and they'll begin moving on the reconstructive work this week, it's all a little upsetting. None of us will be able to stay with her or frequent the hospital like we have here. And whether or not my sister will be able to stay with her regularly is dependant on the nurse she has each shift.

We need to pray for peace in this situation. State of mind is such an important issue at this juncture, and none of us have it right now. Pray for a bubble of peace and grace to surround Amanda and her family to carry them through this next traumatic season. And pray that she can return to MCG to recover soon after surgery.

Pray, also, for Amanda's levels of pain and for a medication that can effectively treat it. And pray for each of us left here in Augusta, that we can support from afar and be what's needed in this next step of recovery.

Amanda's made so much progress forward, we don't want any steps backward.

A Long Week

It's been so very long since I've written, but it's been a busy week and I've spent my free time tending to laundry and my children.

Amanda is doing very well. She has completely regained her alertness (after asking her brother to pass her the phone, pointing at thin air, then when he handed her a handful of air, telling him to give her a minute - she needed to make a phone call; and several other similar incidents that our family will talk about for years to come). She is in a great deal of pain and doesn't seem to have a lot of success with any of the pain meds they're giving her, though.

She had surgery again on Thursday and will go back down tomorrow. She was a little worried about her surgery, afraid they might put her back on the ventilator. But they chose, instead, to give her anesthesia through her I.V. She did very well and they plan on doing more of the same for her future surgeries.

The doctor that saved her life and did her initial 7 1/2 hour surgery right after the accident, then rotated off her case, did the surgery. She hadn't seen Amanda since the first night. We were very anxious to see what she thought about the progress. To quote her, "She is healing up twice as fast as someone twice her age." She continued with a statement about how amazingly young people heal. We now know, also, that her digestive tract is functioning correctly and there's no intestinal blockage or problems associated with her previous surgeries. She's starting to eat a little - I got to feed her mashed potatoes with gravy today. The trauma doc has decided to pull all her antibiotics except one. She said that she expects a low-grade fever because of the trauma to Amanda's body and she won't worry about infection unless it spikes.

She also said that she's trying to get in touch with the pelvic surgical specialist and see if he's willing to sign onto her case. We have since heard that he's willing but doesn't yet have credentials to operate in this state. They're awaiting a temporary license.

The issues at present: Amanda is remembering the accident and it's quite a lot to process. There are many more details that she's remembering of which we were totally unaware. It's enough to deal with waking up and finding out that you've been in a coma for 12 days, your family hovering over your bedside, not knowing if you're going to live or die, then to have to remember the details of a terrible, terrible accident . . . Please pray for her to be able to be at peace and deal with only what she has to deal with right now.

It has now been 16 days and we're all very tired. We're getting a little fuzzy-headed. My sister had a migraine today and I'm having stomach problems. Each of our bodies are handling the stress in a little different way. Amanda's support system (her aunts, grandparents, father, mother, brother . . .) needs rest and a little better organization to ensure our family's needs are being met, our own needs are being met and Amanda and her family's needs are being met.

Amanda can't begin the pelvic reconstruction if there's any infection in her body. The infection will bond to the titanium and they'll have to pull all the metal out and start all over again. Please pray she stays infection-free.

Pray for a relief from pain for her and an ability for her to sleep. Sleep continues to elude her but she needs to be rested to deal with the stress and the pain.

And pray for the upcoming pelvic reconstruction. This is a very difficult and technical process that several other doctors have refused to take on. The trauma doctor says that there is a very high risk of hemorrhage or blood clots during these surgeries, so we need to pray.

In closing, I spent about 4 hours with Amanda this afternoon. Her back was hurting and she asked me to get the nurse and have her rolled up on her side for a little while.

"It's just, I've just been laying here all day," she said. When she saw me grin, she stopped to think about that comment. Her face broke into a wide smile.

"You've been doing a lot of that lately," I added.

Day 11 and Counting

What a day we've had! They removed Amanda's neck brace and the ventilator. The doctors told Trina yesterday that it was a possibility they would remove the vent and NOT do a tracheotomy, but my brother-in-law asked that we not pass along that information in case it never materialized. BUT IT DID!

Amanda's throat was very sore and her voice was so soft you could barely hear her. We thought it would be several days before she'd be able to talk loud enough but, by this evening, she was chatting. They changed her pain medication again and she was quite loopy and had some very funny things to say, including telling her mother that she needed some clothes so she could go sit in the waiting room with us and watch t.v.

I got to go in and see her. I kidded her about setting the nurses straight tomorrow after a good night's rest and she smiled. She was getting very tired after talking so much.

It's amazing how something so small as the removal of ONE tube could have such a huge impact on all of us. Her medical condition really hadn't changed, but just being able to talk to her after 11 days of standing by her bedside not knowing if she'd live or die was an unbelievably good thing.

Now, the challenges. Her white cell count is elevated, which probably indicates infection. They believe it's due to her central line and are moving the line to the other side of her body. They've taken blood samples for cultures to find out if it's just an infection in the port or if it's in her bloodstream. Pray that it's only in the port.

They also decided today to do a cat scan. She has a concern in one of her legs that they're trying to better understand. Pray that it's nothing, please.

She's still a very sick young woman with some potentially serious problems looming over her but, for tonight at least, we are all very happy. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital tonight, her boyfriend, his best friend and my niece's best friend decided to walk out to the parking garage with me. As we waited for the elevator, her boyfriend softly said what was on all of our thought: "At least I'll be able to sleep tonight!"

Slow Process

It's been a busy two days with Amanda. Although there's not too much change in her condition, she is awake much more often and seems to be getting very agitated. She keeps trying to talk and is asking a lot of questions. It's very difficult to figure out what she's saying and, because some of her meds can cause some amnesia, we're not sure if she remembers what she was told the previous times she's woken up.

She has cried several times, sometimes from frustration and sometimes, we think, just because of emotion. It's very difficult to stand by her bedside and watch her being so frustrated. She has actually managed several times to pull her torso up off the bed. She is trying to look behind her, we think so see the monitors. She's so smart and has so much medical training that I believe she thinks that, if she can just see what's hooked up to her, she can figure out what's wrong with her.

We are trying very hard to explain that she's been in an accident and is in the hospital but that she's doing very well and will be much better soon - NO specifics. We smile and try to think of happy things or funny stories to tell her to refocus her attention. My sister is absolutely great at this. But it's very hard on all of us and we're all stressed out.

They took her back into surgery today to look everything over and to change out the sponges that are connnected to her Wound Vac. The outcome was very good. She seems to be healing up well. Now, we just wait. There are many little things along the road to her recovery, but, mostly, we just need to give her body time to heal itself.

The new pelvic trauma specialist has arrived and has looked over Amanda's records. Since they will be repairing her pelvis with titanium, all her abdominal injuries must be completely healed. Apparently, metal will attract infection so, if there is any infection inside her body, it will bond to the metal which will then all have to be removed and the process begun all over again. It's well worth the wait to make sure she's healed before they move onto the next step.

My sister's amazing. She's handling this better than any of the rest of us could ever dream of handling a similar situation. But she needs rest, which is dependant not only on Amanda's condition but, also, no new patients coming into the Trauma Unit during the night. If new patients arrive or one of the other families living in the waiting room have a traumatic night, it's impossible to settle down and sleep in the waiting room.

Visits from friends seem to have died down. Although a few people trickle up during the day, it's nothing like it was at first. For hours at a time, it might only be two or all three of us sisters, with or without my mother thrown in and, possibly, with my brother-in-law. We've said everything to each other there is to say and without the distraction of other people to keep us occupied, it can get pretty tense.

I'm certainly not asking for visitors. But the effect of visitors is to keep us focused for a little while on something other than "the situation" and it seems to me, at least, to get a little tenser when it's just our family. The upside to fewer visitors is that my sister sometimes can rest during the day to make up for the lack of rest at night.

They tried to feed her through the feeding tube on Saturday and were not successful. Today, after her surgery, they explained that her intestines hadn't really "woken up" yet and it was nothing to worry about. They'll wait a little while, then try again.

Thank you, each of you, who are reading these posts and praying for our sweet girl. We know that prayer is what has gotten us through so far and are relying on prayer to get us to the end. Please ask everyone you know to pray.

One of my nieces has set up a CarePage under the MCG system for her cousin. If you go to MCG Care Pages, search for Meme Barnes and you can get updates from someone else's perspective. She tends to be less verbose and more clinical. I think it might be necessary for you to register before you can access her Care Page, but I think that's only because this is a new thing the hospital is doing and they want to keep some demographic info to assess the effectiveness of this tool. Again, thank you for your prayers and keep it up - PLEASE!

She'll go back into surgery again Thursday or Friday. Other than that, we just sit quietly and wait inbetween visits to her bedside and trying to keep her from getting upset.

Not an entirely bad place to be, especially not after the last week. She's improving, even if it is baby steps. We'll take any steps forward we can get.

Laughter - Good Medicine

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Driving home from the hospital one night this week, the Lord clearly spoke these words to me. I knew they were scriptural, but I had no idea where. When I got home, I Googled the words and found the reference. The next day, I shared it with my sister at the hospital and we had an awesome prayer time together, claiming this scripture for Amanda.

The day after that, she sat down with her Bible, opened it up, and began to share with Amanda's boyfriend this very scripture. Then she told how the Lord had given her this word almost a year ago when Amanda had been hit head-on by a truck and had to be removed from the car with the jaws of life. Since then, she's been standing on this scripture for her family. Then she told him how the Lord had spoken the same word to me. I had no knowledge that she and her prayer partner had claimed this word. While we talked, my mother looked up from her book and said, "Isn't that amazing? The Lord gave me that same word today. It was in my devotional guide for this morning."

Could the Lord have spoken any clearer? Then the nurses in the ICU unit told my sister that they are all drawn to my niece. They told her that they're all Christians and have a clear sense that Amanda is going to be there for the long haul, because she's not going to die. God has a clear plan for her future.

I spent the night with my sister at the hospital last night. Very little has changed with Amanda's condition. They are beginning to turn the ventilator down because she's doing so much breathing on her own, and they want to encourage that because it exercises her lungs and makes her body work for itself. She communicated through mouthing the words yesterday that she wanted her mama. The Resident ran to the waiting room and got my sister. "Amanda's asking for you! Come on!"

She also got very agitated yesterday about something and kept trying to tell her father what was on her mind. He couldn't get it. He asked her a limited number of questions to which she shook her head. He got her mother. She couldn't figure it out, either. She told me later,

"All those Lemaze classes and child-rearing courses we've taken, and not a one of them in how to lip-read over a ventilator!"

They finally called the doctor. She asked Amanda if she thought she could write her question. She nodded. They removed the restraints on one arm, gave her a pen and paper, but she wasn't able to form the letters. It was very frustrating to my brother-in-law. She lies there, hour after hour, and when she tried to communicate something specific to him, he couldn't understand her, which broke his heart.

Her fever is up and she has two injury sites that are very red. The plan is to take her back into surgery Monday to remove more dead tissue.

My sister got some tough news yesterday. One of the nurses told her that the doctors expect the nurses to break down what's happening to their loved ones into layman's terms and she didn't think anyone had yet done that for my sister. She said that Amanda will be very, very critical and it will still be life and death for her for another 4 to 6 weeks. We were both shocked. We thought that, once the abdomenal stuff was healed and they started working on pelvic reconstruction that she'd be out of the woods. We were wrong.

On a lighter note, my niece who's in Grad School showed up at the hospital yesterday morning and spent the day. Last night, Don and I took the kids up, just for a few minutes, to see the family. I thought my sister might enjoy a visit from the children and it might get her mind off the situation for a few minutes. We had a grand time. They only stayed about 15 minutes, but my whole family was there. My niece began doing exercises and, before we knew it, other families in the waiting room were jumping up and joining in the agility exercise. We all laughed, loud and hard, and it was just what everyone needed. There are two other families living in this waiting room whose loved ones have been in the Trauma ICU for 2 weeks now. They have precious little fun in their lives, and we all enjoyed laughing.

Nicki has been keeping my children a fair amount for me but they've given her a bit of a hard time. Today, we were all in the kitchen and I was going over the schedule for the week. I reminded her of the day she said she could babysit and checked to make sure it was still alright with her.

"Only if the children will mind," she said.

"Children," I bellowed, deciding I needed to deal with this issue, "why is Nicki saying that she'll only babysit if you will mind. Has someone given her a hard time."

Without missing a beat, Daelyn yelled from the table, "YEP! Dane."

Our whole family cracked up. Of course, Dane had given Nicki the least amount of trouble. But we all had a good, much-needed laugh. And the kids promised to be obedient to Nicki and not harass her.

They're good children, but the stress is wearing on them, as well. I'm trying to spend today at home with them, getting chores done and being "normal", because they need that normalcy. I barked orders about chores this morning, started wash, and visited with them - normal. But it's very difficult to be "normal" when it's killing me to be away from the hospital.

I have to put my children first. I'm their mother. My niece has her mother and my sister has our mother. But my children need me.

So I smile and try to remember how to act like my niece isn't fighting for her life . . .