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Monday, April 11, 2011

Beyond the Obvious

My heart is full today. The song, "Great is Thy Faithfulness" keeps going around and around in my head. The Lord has been SO merciful and faithful to me.

Years ago, when yet a single, I would get so discouraged when I saw no potential mate on the horizon. At times, I was peaceful, enjoying being single and the freedom that came with that state in life. At others, I was a basket-case, wondering why NO ONE loved me unconditionally. (Of course, I mean no one other than God.)

One thing was certain - I would not marry anyone who wasn't God's perfect choice for me. I had watched some marriages struggle and fail. I knew I could be happy single but realized that being in a bad (or the wrong) marriage would take a toll on me, the cost of which could not be calculated. I preferred to be happy on and off as a single than miserable in a marriage, so I waited.

My friend, Jane, and I would get together regularly to pray. Around the new year, we would list the big prayers the Lord laid on our hearts in a book she kept in a drawer, then faithfully pray for those requests throughout the course of the next year. Year after year, we saw God honor these prayers and answer them in ways that were unimaginable to us. One year, when we gathered, another single friend, who was in a dating relationship, joined us. After praying for a while, Jane asked the Lord to speak to us, and we stood in silence for several minutes. Then Jane told us that she felt she had a word from the Lord that one of the three of us would be either married or headed towards marriage by the same time the following year. The other single woman confirmed the Word, saying she had heard the same one.

Jane and I both looked at our friend. It seemed pretty clear she was the one who would be marrying soon. We were very excited for her and all rejoiced that one of us would soon be moving into a different season in our lives. Since neither Jane nor I were dating, nor had any possibilities at the time, this all seemed quite reasonable. Our friend also felt she was the one for whom the Word was intended.

Turns out, it was me. Don and I began dating the end of August of the following year and, by the end of December, were very serious and both knew we were headed towards marriage. Both of those friends are still single. I WAS THE ONE that Word was meant for.

Don is God's perfect choice for me. I often say he's perfect; not in a human sense, but certainly perfect for me. Then, he gave me these precious children. Again, there are difficult times when I wonder how I'm going to survive until they're grown, but the good times are SO good that they outweigh the hard times. Don has always been able to provide well for our family, so I've been able to be a stay-at-home Mom, which is one of God's great mercies. I get to go on Field Trips, substitute at the school, drop my children off and pick them up every day. I get to stop by a friend's house for coffee in the morning, hit Wal-Mart at 8:30 when the parking lot is still empty, get yardwork done while it's still relatively cool outside. There are so many more blessings that God has poured out on me; not the least of which is still having both my parents living on the same road as me, two sisters in town that I talk with almost daily, many close friends who love and encourage me, and Alleluia, the Community that the Lord has loved me enough to allow me to be a part of.

Why shouldn't my heart be filled to overflowing? He loves me the most, as my Deanna would say. He loves me in little and big ways. He cares about the small things, like what color I paint the den, and makes His protecting hand clearly visible in large issues, such as my health. He is a great and might God, but not too big to notice even the small things that lay heavy on our hearts.

And isn't that truly what unconditional love is about? To love someone enough that you're concerned even about the seemingly insignificant things that affect them.

God has given me so much, but the greatest miracle, and the one for which I'm the MOST thankful, is that he's shown me HIS unconditional love through husband and children. He really is enough, but it took marriage and a family for me to see that HIS love is the greatest I will ever experience and meets my deepest needs.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father!!!

Friday, April 08, 2011

Batter Up!!!

Daelyn had his firth baseball practice last night. He plays with the Recreation Department. We received a call from his coach the previous night telling us that they will have practice DAILY for the next two weeks. Apparently, they're a championship team and he wants to whip these boys into shape early.

Daelyn was thrilled. So happy, in fact, that he begged out of soccer yesterday. All he can think about is baseball. All I can think about is that we have two other children, a ton of other activities, and his brother is also playing baseball with the Rec Department at a different field a 20-min. drive away.

After the practice last night, as Don and I were preparing for bed, I commented that the thought of these daily practices is a little overwhelming.

"You don't actually have to go to every practice, Honey," he said. The very words sent chills up and down my spine.

Now, I've gotten a lot of freedom from thinking I need to be at school sporting events. The children are surrounded by friends, adults they love and trust, and coaches that know them well and are committed to our family. If I can't make a school game, there's always another parent that can take my child and/or pick them up. I NEVER stay at school sports practices; drop 'em off, try and arrange carpooling for pick-ups. If the carpools can't be arranged, I know the coach will stay with them until I arrive to spirit them home again. But THIS??? THIS is totally different. I don't know these coaches. I don't know ANY of the parents. He's only 9 years old and there's no phone anywhere nearby. My blood runs cold just thinking that the practice may end early for whatever reason and my son has no way to contact me.

No, I will not be "dropping him off" at practice while I do other things EVERY DADGUM NIGHT OF THE WEEK FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.

We'll just have to figure it out. Maybe his sister can stay with him if I have to run his brother to his practice and I can leave my cellphone with her. Although, if SHE has my cell, then I have nothing to receive a call on.

Not a great situation any way you cut it. So, while Daelyn's stoked and Don's nonchalant, I'm worried. I'm just not sure how I'm going to swing all of this. I've decided I'm going to do what I can and, if he misses a practice or two, baseball IS NOT the sum total of our life. Actually, it's a very small part.

That's what I keep telling myself.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Snickering Evil

This summer, while we were in Hawaii, I received a call from the Elementary Principal. The fourth grade teacher had been diagnosed with cancer, which I was aware of. At first, it seemed that it was really not a big issue but, during the summer, the picture changed a little for her and her doctors wanted her to start chemo. She needed to go to half-time at school and they were looking for someone to teach the other half-day in the 4th grade.

Don and I talked about it. I was inclined for volunteer for a couple of months to give them a little wiggle-room in finding someone for the rest of the year, but Don reminded me that I was going to have knee surgery, which hadn't yet been scheduled, and I couldn't make a commitment to anything with that hanging over my head.

The Principal was able to find someone to teach in the afternoons but, the Friday before school started, the regular teacher had her first chemo treatment and had a pretty rough time. The doctors told her it would just get worse with subsequent treatments.

The first day of school was pretty tough and she had to leave the Opening Assembly to go back to her classroom and rest. After Assembly, I headed for the Elementary Wing to see if I could help. She was in her classroom, so I bopped in and asked if she needed me to sub for her. She gladly accepted.

A very long story to get to a short truth: I fell in love with the 2010-2011 4th Grade Class. I ended up subbing for them that whole first week and a day or two of the next week, until they worked out a second 1/2 day teacher to replace their regular one who really needed to take the year off. They are an absolute delight. There are some children that are a challenge, but I love each and every one of them; they have become MY class.

Several weeks ago, I got a message on the answering machine from their afternoon teacher. It went something like this:

"Patti, I know you're having some problems and you may not be up to this; I even hesitated to call you, but these kids just LOVE you. I need a substitute. If you can't do it, please feel free to say 'no', but I just wanted to give you a call and see. They love you so much."

I called her back and reassured her that she should ALWAYS call me first when it comes to the 4th grade. I committed to two days of subbing in the afternoon two weeks ago.

The second day was their Play Practice day. Every year, the 4th grade students perform a Shakespearean play. The play varies from year to year. This year's choice was "Much Ado About Nothing". The teacher left a script and notes on what they should work on and I had such fun with them. We practiced speaking slowly, loudly, and distinctly; we worked on entrances and exits; we spent some time on body movement and expression. It was a dream for an English major that fell in love with Shakespeare in elementary school herself.

Their performance was last Friday. I got a call that morning from the mother of one of the students to remind me, not that I needed a reminder. I was picking up hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts for Daelyn's class for his birthday surprise, so I picked up an extre 2 1/2 dozen for the 4th grade for their Cast Party.

They were superb. I've never seen the audience so engaged at a 4th grade play. We clapped everytime the actors left the stage. We laughed readily and easily, and very often. The students seemed to be naturals, pausing until clapping and laughter subsided and playing to the crowd. They obviously enjoyed themselves immensely, and the parents/aunts/cousins/siblings . . . LOVED it.

The comedic characters in the play were the head of the Watch, Dogberry, and his assistant, Verges. For these two parts, the teacher chose the quietest, shyest of the students. They found a voice they've never had before and were amazing. In the play, they are cautioned by the Governor to watch for "evil, sneaking about". Dogberry, who gets little right and is very confused, makes a strong case for why "evil snickers" and the play on words continues throughout the length of the performance.

We've adopted a new term around our house: snickering evil. Anytime something looks questionable, it's "snickering evil". That term is probably used daily by one of the members of the Doughty family. This morning, Deanna commented on the snickering evil of something or other.

I love that we have a family culture; that we have phrases that we use and all understand, that we have jokes that only make sense to us and no one else would really "get" them, that our shared experiences have created a oneness that's obvious in our humor and the way we talk. And, now, we have snickering evil to add to our repertoire of Doughty Family culture.

Thank you, 4th Grade, and I look forward to subbing for you this afternoon.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Tongue Twister

On the way to Dane's baseball practice last night (which turned out to not really be a practice), we were stopped at a light. To our right was a large drugstore, an Eckerd or Walgreens, or something or other. What struck me was a BLUE BOX sitting in front of it with the words "Blockbuster" emblazoned across it.

The children noticed it first and we all had a good laugh.

"I guess Blockbuster is trying to compete with Red Box," I commented, slurring my words hopelessly. But that gave me an idea.

"Hey, guys, bet you can't say 'Blockbuster Blue Box' five times!"

I couldn't even successfully do it twice. The second time, it always came out 'Blockbuster Blue Blox'.

The children tried, repeatedly (and I DO mean repeatedly; it kept them occupied for about 10 solid minutes). Dane finally succeeded, after many attempts, to do it 3 times in a row. Neither Deanna nor I had any success, and the original challenge of 5 times, we decided, was an impossibility.

You try it. Say "Blockbuster Blue Box' 3 times fast and see what a mess you end up with.

Just a normal Monday afternoon on the road with the Doughty's.