We're still dealing with shock over the death of a good friend. There was a candlelight vigil in the front yard of their home last night at 7:30. We weren't able to attend because both Deanna and Dane had dark circles under their eyes and needed to be IN bed by 7:30.
Everyone who knew Theresa is grieving with her family, but you can't help but think - this could have been me. It could have been my children left motherless. She had no symptoms, no illness. She appeared to be healthy and was certainly vibrant and active.
At the root of my nagging thoughts is a subconscious belief I held. It WAS subconscious until yesterday, when I began to recognize it and deal with it. The belief was that, somehow, I would be given a choice at the time of death - to go to Heaven or return to earth.
Years ago, I read the book "Life after Life". It was hugely popular when it first was published and I was one of the millions who read it from cover to cover. The book chronicled 200 people who had clinically died and been revived by artificial means. All of them described moving towards a light and most of them heard a voice asking why they deserved to go to Heaven.
They all recalled a feeling a immense peace and a disconnection with the concerns of the world. Many said they were asked if they wanted to go to Heaven or return to earth. In all but 3 of the cases (an unbelievable small number considering how many were interviewed), the people who were clinically dead chose Heaven. They said the peace was overwhelming and they didn't want to be thrown back into the chaos of human life.
I don't remember why one of the people chose life, but one of the three was a mother of young children who said she wanted to get her children raised before returning to Heaven, and God allowed her to be revived. A second was a medical student, I believe, who wanted to finish medical school and use his skill to save lives. God allowed him to be revived, as well.
Somehow, reading this book, all those years ago, left me with the unconscious belief that I would be given a choice. I don't know if this is true or not. But at least now I realize I've been carrying this belief around.
Of course, the issue still remains - if given the choice at the moment of death, what would I choose? Would I choose eternal rest and the peace and undescribable joy of Heaven or would I choose to continue this painful walk called life in order to raise my children to be godly.
I don't know. Once again, I have no answers - just lots of questions.
All I know is that we all need mercy - lots of mercy falling like raindrops.
7 comments:
Man that is the worst way to die, not even knowing that you have something going on in our body that is deadly. Or anything that happens suddenly like a car accident, those you don't even expect.
This is so tragic.
What will the family do now?
I wish I could help somehow.
http://www.lifeafterlife.com/
Is this the book and author you are referring to?
I think there are worse ways to die....like early Christians who were put in prison, and throw into the arena to be torn apart by dogs, or lions. Or, the ones who Nero had crucified, and used as torches at his festivals. See: http://www.cptryon.org/compassion/sum00/martyrs3.html.
I can't imagine being like Paul, the apostle, who spent his later years in prison for preaching the Gospel and who had to endure beatings, starvation and loss of freedom. 2Cor.6:4 and on.
Dying in your sleep seems like the most humane way to go, for me.No pain, no anxiety, no racing to tie up loose ends, no grieving leaving everyone.
The hardship comes not for her, who I assume in with God, but for her family and friends who are left to wonder.
I do know that our "days have been numbered" and God knows exactly when we will be taken. There are records in the Bible of people's lives being extended, like Hezekiah in Isaiah 38. And, then there was the story of Lazarus who was raised from the dead after being buried. But, these are all unusual events.
Perhaps the lesson to learn is that we should all be prepared for the inevitable. And, embrace death, not as something to fear, but as simply a passage into everlasting life.
I lit a candle for you tonight, and one for Joey. I pray you will find strength in Him during the sad days ahead.
Thank you, Jan. I appreciate all the prayers we can get. This family has more to deal with than is imaginable.
Talli, I'll have to check. I'll let you know if that's the right book or not.
As to what the family will do now - I don't know. There some thought that Joey's mother may move in with them to help. But he may need to farm out some of the children, like the toddlers, and the baby is already staying with someone else - a new mother with a nursing baby. We offered to keep the baby. Who knows? Maybe we'll get a call and we'll get to have another baby in our home.
Please be assured of my prayers and especially for the husband and children of your friend.
Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
I've read about this at Rachel's testosterhome as well. This is heartbreaking -- and I believe, the fear of all mommies everywhere. Oh that we would live long enough to see our children grow up and have children of their own...the only thing scarier than leaving too soon is of course being left behind if they were to go first. I have been praying for Theresa and her family and her friends.
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