Grits, anyone?

Despite the fact that I've lived in the South for 3/4 of my life, I don't really consider myself a Southerner. I suppose, if I had been born to Southern parents who were just displaced by the Army for a time, I might feel differently. But, these Canadian parents of mine have never tried to make me feel like a true Southern Belle. You have to realize that my parents have lived in the South as long as me. We moved here when I was still in elementary school. But, they only began to REALLY appreciate the South and understand it when my father was assigned a preaching circuit in a small south Georgia town - Sparta - where even the dogs move slower and conversation is a true art, practiced by everyone. The older men had a storefront that they converted into a "gathering place" with a coffee pot, a counter with stools, chairs, and who knows what else. They called it "The Board of Directors", their motto being, "We'll direct anything you want us to." You had to be invited to join and, as far as I could tell, all they did was sit around on stools, drink coffee, get to know each other better, and talk, talk, talk. Not bad for a group of older Southern gentlemen.


Regardless, I never became a "good Southerner". I hate greens (all kinds - collard, mustard, kale, spinach, and any others you can think of), I don't use fatback (in fact, I don't even know where to buy it or how to use it), and I have very little of a southern accent. My speech sounds pretty clean, possibly because my mother speaks perfect Queen's English, with no trace of accent of any kind. She doesn't use the typical Canadian upswing on every statement nor does she say, "Eh", thrown in haphazardly in every sentence like my cousins, aunts, and uncles. She is the perfect Army Officer's wife - timeless, with no allegiance to any territory, beautiful, well-spoken, and immaculately groomed. Her house is lovely and ALWAYS neat and clean. Her person is lovely and ALWAYS neat and clean. Even when working in the yard, she seems to look better than most people when they're dressed up.

I decided some time back that my children who, shockingly, are Southerners, needed to learn to be Southerners. But how do you teach something you don't know. Ah, the quandry. But I figured the least I could do was get them started eating grits. We avoid black-eyed peas as well as my much-hated greens, so I figure there must be some Southern foods I can make a part of their normal diet.

I've tried grits for breakfast several time, but they don't seem to go over very well. This morning, I made the ultimate sacrifice. I cooked grits from scratch (which, pretty much, is adding water to grits and cooking) and added Mexican-blend cheese, Cheddar, salt, butter, small cut-up chunks of smoked spiral honey ham, and a touch of hot sauce for added flavor. I have to admit - they were GREAT!!! (The typing here may be a little disjointed as I pat myself on the back.) I raved about them, only to discover that the children didn't agree.

The truth is, I think they loved them, too, they're just determined to NOT LIKE GRITS. Far be it from them to eat anything "southern". Dane took a bite, made a terrible face, and held the face in place as he chewed and attempted to swallow. Daelyn took a big bite and said, "These are GREAT" (at least I think he meant the Grits and wasn't just imitating Tony the Tiger), then Dane suddenly began to smile and said, "Oh, now that I've tasted them 7 times, Daelyn's right. They are great." Yeah, sure. If they were GREAT, I'm sure they were just as good on the first bite as the seventh.

Deanna nibbled at hers while finishing up some homework she had forgotten last night. Daelyn must have managed 2 full bites before abandoning the table. I sat and blew on each bite and fed Dane for several minutes, then went to dress myself. When we returned home after dropping brother and sissy off at school, I noticed bowls still very full of grits littering the table.

My kids may not yet be diehard southerners, but if I keep up the yummy grits, maybe they'll at least learn to eat them. In the meantime, more for ME!!!