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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Salt water and Sun

I'm writing from the Business Center at our resort in Hilton Head. We just had breakfast around the pool (Grandma and Grandpa Doughty are with us), then I trudged over here to update.

Hilton Head is such a beautiful place. In some ways, it's like being in England. There are bike paths everywhere and people walk or bike all the time. Don took the children out yesterday for a long ride and they came back exhausted and over-heated. When I take them, we don't go as far and we take a much more leasurely pace, staying in shaded areas. But Don's more of a serious biker than me.

I went straight to bed when we arrived on Saturday. Our condo has three bedrooms, two that are master bedrooms. We gave my in-law's the front room - it has a private bath, a loveseat, and the whole suite can be shut off from the noise of the family. I thought they might rest better being able to just close themselves off. My mother-in-law is not feeling well. She's been having trouble sleeping and is very tired. I asked her yesterday why she's not resting and she said, "I think I'm worried about you!" Could I ask for a more loving Mom? I just hate that my illness is having such a negative impact on her.

I skipped church Sunday and spent the entire day in bed. Occasionally, I moved to the couch, but was exhausted. It was quite surprising to me that I was so tired. In the hospital, I got lots of exercise and power-walked the halls, deciding that getting my lungs pumping hard would be good for all parts of my ailing body. There was no power-walking on Sunday - just lots of power-laying. I did get to watch a good movie or two with the children.

So, yesterday, I sprung out of bed, determined to not "miss" the beach just because I felt bad. I threw on my suit before exiting the bedroom, then announced I was going to see the ocean. "Who's coming?" I called to the children. They clamored to get their suits on and gather their beachbags.

We loaded up our little rolling cart (my big purchase this year - I saw them all over the beach last year and decided we needed to invest in one), grabbed the kids, and we took off, all smiles. The walk to the beach was a little further than I had anticipated and, by the time we arrived, I was exhausted. The kids helped me set up camp. Deanna planted my beach umbrella while Dane got out my lounge chair. Daelyn stood around helping with anything he could. The children were wonderful - putting their own desires for the water at bay until Mama was fixed up.

As I sat down, I realized we had left the reclining camp chair. I had to sit up, which was not exactly what I had in mind. The children ran off to play in the surf, Deanna with her boogey board in tow. After sitting in the shade, sweating, for a few minutes, it occurred to me that the water would be cool and my float reclined. The tide was out, so the waves were minimal. I blew up my floatie and took off for my children.

We spent 2 hours floating in the surf together. Dane found tons of sand dollars and Deanna continued her quest for the ultimate wave ride. We all stayed together, the boys or Deanna towing me out further when I drifted too far. We prayed together, told stories, laughed, and enjoyed the coolness of the water and the OCEAN! Don arrived, swam with us for a while, then I decided I'd better call it a day.


I spent the rest of the day in bed, exhausted beyond measure. I suppose I overdid it, but my reasoning is quite sound. There is a possibility I will be facing emergency surgery upon our return from vacation. If I'm going into surgery, I need to condition my body as much as possible before hand or the recovery will be even worse. If I just lay around now, more muscles will atrophy. If I get some exercise and push the limits a little, I'm more likely to heal quicker. At least, that's what I think.

By yesterday afternoon, my frontol lobe was killing me. That's what the doctor told me to watch for. If I had any repeat pain in my frontal lobe, I was to let him know immediately. We had an adult conference after dinner last night. With sleep, most of the pain had eased. We decided to give it a good night's sleep and see how I was doing this morning.

My head is still a LITTLE sore, but not bad. I still feel like I need to push the envelope a little or I'll never get my strength back.

Meanwhile, Don bought and had steamed for me the best shrimp I've ever had in my entire life. I've been sitting on the couch, peeling them and dipping them in my homemade cocktail sauce, which has enough horseradish to do the job itself of the antibiotics.

Last night, I made pink cloud (raspbelly jello, cool whip, cottage cheese, pineapple, pecans) and green bean casserole for dinner. Grandpa and Don grilled angus burgers. It was a wonderful meal and we all felt like we really were "at the beach". Unfortunately, I have no idea what I'll do about dinner tonight.

Chinese take-out, anyone?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Not Such a Great Week

Okay, once again a huge, long delay, but with a good reason. The short of it is I just got out of the hospital after three days as an inpatient.

The long of it is that I've been struggling with a sinus infection for 5 weeks, which probably means I've had it for 7. Five weeks ago, my head hurt so bad, it woke me during the middle of the night and I thought I had an aneurism. I tried to wake Don to take me to the Emergency Room, but he finally, after two months of insomnia, was sleeping and it just was more than I could tackle on top of my headache. The next day, I went to prompt care and got antibiotics and nasal sprays to get me through. I got worse. I went to see my doctor who put me on a stronger antibiotic - Levaquin, for those of you who know it. I got worse and the infection spread to my lungs giving me bronchitis. I went back to my doctor. He ordered a CT scan of my sinuses, put me on a third round of even stronger antibiotics (Cipro) and oral steroids and voiced serious concerns. The next day, I got a message from my sometimes ENT telling me my doctor's office had requested they see me immediately. Yup! Sinus scan looked bad.

The CT Scan was last Monday and I scheduled my consult with the ENT for yesterday, Thursday, July whatever yesterday was. By this past Sunday, I was wheezing and getting sicker yet. I got scared and called Daelyn's godmother who's a retired nurse to come over and check me out. She did and insisted I call my doctor at home before she left the house. He encouraged me to use Dane's jet nebulizer and give myself a breathing treatment, which helped mildly. By Tuesday, I was really scared. I just kept getting sicker and no one really seemed to "get it", except perhaps Deanna who was very frightened about how sick I seemed. Complicating things significantly was that Don had also developed a sinus infection that had spread into bronchitis.

I decided I couldn't wait any longer for MY ENT to return from out-of-town, so I called on Tuesday and scheduled with one of his partners. He examined me, looked at my CT, and told me he needed to hospitalize me immediately. I had two choices - emergency sinus surgery that night or hospitalization on IV antibiotics and IV steroids. He told me that I was in danger of a brain abcess. He said I had had too much infection too close to my brain for too long and there was REAL danger. I opted for hospitalization, fearing surgery with so much infection wouldn't go well. He decided to call an Infection Disease specialist and get advice.

They put me on the strongest IV antibiotic available, based on the Infection Disease doc's input, plus another IV antibiotic and IV steroids. I knew I was sick but didn't quite realize how sick until yesterday evening.

My new ENT came to talk me through how we were progressing. The Infection Disease doctor who, incidentally, was the same one who was called in on my case when I was pregnant with Daelyn and had the severe blood infection that almost claimed my life, had ordered some blood work and I asked my doctor if the results were back. He pulled my chart from the nurses station and discovered the startling news that, after 36 hours of the strongest IV antibiotics available, my blood was infected, also. I had another blood infection. I was VERY ill.

We sent out a general prayer request and God loves to respond to our prayers for healing. This morning, I had a lung X-ray and another CT Scan and the doctors decided to release me on oral antibiotics so we can make it to our family vacation in Hilton Head tomorrow.

I'm not yet out of the woods. He insisted I take his phone number with me and warned me that I may be coming home from Hilton Head mid-week and going into emergency sinus surgery. There's no way to know at this point how I'll progress. In any case, surgery at some point in the future is a definite.

Before I left the hospital, he asked me if he could schedule my surgery for me the week after our vacation. I said no, but that we should schedule another appointment to see how things are progressing and decide how soon we need to operate. Don is scheduled for sinus surgery on August 27 with another doctor in the same practice and it would work far better for me, in terms of recovery, if I could wait on surgery until the children are back in school. If they operated on a Friday after the start of school, the day of surgery the children would be gone from 8:30 to 3 p.m. and Don would be off to be able to be with me, pick them up, etc. He'd be home on Saturday and Sunday and, by Monday, when he needed to go back to work, I should be well enough to make the children's lunches, breakfast, get them to school, then rest as much as needed until 3. It would be far simpler for our life, if I can wait that long. The ENT is doubtful, but we'll see. In the meantime, I'm still a little bit touch and go. We don't have the radiologists report on my lungs yet so we're not sure how they're progressing and I'm very weak and tired. We're working very hard at getting the packing done while keeping me from overdoing.

This all sounds pretty dismal and is very scary, but there are lots of positives, as well. It was the Holy Spirit that prompted me to call two days earlier and be seen by someone else. With the addition of the blood infection, if I had waited until Thursday to be seen, I may have been dealing with life-threatening consequences and would most certainly not be going on a family vacation. It was the Holy Spirit that prompted my doctor to call in an Infection Disease specialist. I asked him, before his conversation with the other doctor, what antibiotic he was going to use. He told me, then later explained that the Infectious Disease doctor had overridden him and had a clear sense that we needed to do the MOST possible. That was the Holy Spirit. The antibiotic he used was the same one he used for my previous blood infection. I believe he knew in his spirit that the infection was much more widespread than my doctor realized. It was the Lord that guided each of these steps.

Once again, God had preserved my life, which could have taken a drastic turn for the worse this week, but didn't. While we're all still a little shell-shocked around the Doughty hacienda, God is good and is continuing to protect and defend me.

We are hoping to be able to leave town tomorrow, but may be turning around and coming home on Sunday if things go south. We just don't know. For now, we're trusting God and praying that this vacation will bring me the rest and healing that I need. All that salt water and salt air HAS to be good for my sinuses.

So, my dear friends, pray for me for God's continued protection and wisdom for Don and I and the doctors involved in the decision-making. Lots of decisions will have to be made over the next two weeks. They've scheduled me to see the ENT at 9 a.m. the Monday following our expected return from the beach. They're not wasting any time. I'm hoping they'll do another CT scan, so we can see how my sinuses fared over the beach trip, and make the decision on when to operate on the progress I've made at that point.

Life . . . always something happening. But, thank God, as usual, his mercy was falling like drops of rain from Heaven, covering our family.

There's a reason why this Blog is called Mercy Drops Falling.

P.S. Kelly, if you're reading this, sorry you missed all the excitement. I sure do miss you. Please send your e-mail address so I can let you know personally what's happening when we get home. Love you and big kisses to my birthday boy. Patti

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Better Late . . .

I've been pretty pitiful about posting this summer. We spent another week at my in-law's in West Virginia. We were to leave Dane behind for his week with them, but we were all sick by the time we left and it seemed best to reschedule his time with his grandparents.

Don scheduled another appointment with my doctor for me, which I kept on Monday. I just keep getting sicker. I had already been through two rounds of antibiotics, one fairly strong.

The result - still have a sinus infection and now we've added bronchitis to it. He sent me for a CT Scan later in the day. The next afternoon I got a call from my sometimes ENT's office, telling me that I had been referred to them and they needed to schedule an appointment for me to see my ENT right away. I guess the CT didn't look so good.

The next morning, I took all three children to the doctor. Although he believed them all to have only colds, since they have not yet cleared up, chances are they now all have sinus infections, as well.

On Thursday, after fighting light-headedness, extreme fatigue, crazy coughing, headaches, and difficulty breathing for a couple of weeks, I went back to see my doctor. In addition to polyps in my sinuses and thickening (which I assume means scar tissue), all the drain holes have been clogged up and my sinus' are unable to clear. Antibiotics rid the congestion of infection - temporarily - until it sits long enough to get re-infected. He also said that the infected mucous is draining into my lungs, infecting them as well.

Lovely. Deanna would say WAY too much information. But it's been a tough several weeks and I'm still fighting it all. Daelyn's cough is terrible and Deanna's constantly blowing her nose, sounding more like a trumpeting swan than a child.

The children have had enough time since we've been pretty stationary to work on Christmas presents. Dane and I sat down with his gift list last night and matched up crafts to people, setting priorities and laying out a plan for finishing. I'm very excited. He has some very cute things that he's made for the relatives and very appropriate. I love that my children do crafts and do such a good job.

So we muddle through, and when I can breath and think clearly, I try to prepare for our week at the beach, coming up soon.

Hope your summer's going well. Our's is going swimmingly, although not "well".

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Sweetness of it All

I'm off for West Virginia and Grandma and Grandpa's house again. Dane needs his week with his grandparents and we all agreed that none of us had quite enough time with them this summer, so I'm taking the children for a few days, then leaving Dane behind.

I'm looking forward to the visit. Not only do I really enjoy being with Don's parents, but I also enjoy the slow pace of life while I'm there, as do the children. We do lots of crafts, wander slowly through stores, enjoying "just looking" as opposed to "tearing through for that one item". The children help Grandpa pick the garden and play with the fish in his pond. Donovan runs through the backyard unfettered, chasing people who are walking by on the street. I get to sleep in - until at least 8:00 every day. There are no schedules, no "have-to-do's", and no meetings to rush off to. Just peace, fellowship, and the joy of my beloved in-laws and my children.

That being said, last night I was up very late. I think I got to bed around 2 a.m. Then I had trouble sleeping, thinking through everything I had forgotten to pack and tons of other stuff. As I lay there, listening to Don breathing next to me and very aware of his tired body, I was overcome with missing him. I HATE being away from him - every single time. I always think I'm going to do better but, in the end, I miss him terribly. He's a quiet guy, but a strong presence in his quiet way. I like running into him in the house, watching him watch his children, and seeing that little glint in his eye when he gets tickled with me or them. As much as I want to see his parents, I don't want to leave him.

This is the perfect week for the trip. In addition to his very hectic job, he's also covering for his boss and one other person, so he's performing triple duty. He warned me that he'll be very late getting home at night and, if I was going to choose some time to be gone, this is probably the best time. Yet, listening to him breath and knowing I won't be hearing that sound for awhile tugged at my heart.

We'll stay in touch over the phone and I'll be home before we know it and reconnect with my other half. Until then, I'll feel, most assuredly, like half a person.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Missing him is a good thing, right?

Monday, July 07, 2008

Bizarre News

A mother taking her infant daughter's social security number and using it to charge up thousands of dollars in debt. Who does she think is responsible for the debt? And her infant daughter starts her life as an adult with a tainted record. Thanks, Mom.

A man is swimming in a local lake and, in plain view of other swimmers, disappears under the water. When he doesn't resurface, they call for help and begin trying to find him in the muddy waters. A diving crew later finds his body. Ten years previous his brother drowned in the exact same spot.

A young man visiting Six Flags over Georgia climbs over two security fences in an effort to reach out to riders on a high-speed roller coaster. He and a friend climb through the rails and he gets stuck, just as the coaster approaches. He's decapitated. An off-duty fireman waiting in line to board the ride calls 911. Those security fences were in place for a reason, buddy. The investigation requires Six Flags to post LARGER and more frequent signs. Give me a break - like the guy didn't realize he was putting his life in his own hands. How could this be Six Flag's fault?

On the 4th of July, a woman decided to celebrate by shooting her handgun into the air. After discharging all her bullets, she goes into the house to reload and hits her best friend and brother's fiance, killing the woman. Wow! What a way to celebrate.

Of course, none of that can top the punches thrown between two city officials at a recent public reception. Word is, one of the men could've wiped the floor up with the other, had he tried. Instead of debating the imminent winner had a sensible man not intervened, why don't we take up a collection to send these two men to anger management classes - separately.

One more, of an entirely different nature. We're all learning the Ten Commandments. While most of us are capable of figuring them out if we spend some time thinking, we decided memorization in order would be helpful. On the way to church yesterday, I took along the listing Dane had made and we began memorizing. When we got to "Thou shalt make no graven images," I paused to talk about graven images with the children. Deanna spoke up:

"Like when Moses was up on Mt. Sinai getting the 10 Commandments and they made the golden calf."

"Exactly," I said. "They made a statue, then began to worship it, bowing to it and singing songs of praise."

Deanna: "There's one thing I don't quite understand, Mama. How could they think it was a god? THEY made it."

The humor of the situation hit me. Yep. To consider something you create with your own hands to be a god . . ."just how did I get here? Oh, yeah. That gold calf that I JUST made put me on this earth before it was even made . . . "

News of the Bizarre, alright.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

The Next Installment in . . .

. . . "Daddy can do anything. You know, he's an Electrical Engineer."

Daelyn and I were snuggling yesterday. He's very overtired and was fighting with everyone. In an effort to get him out of the mix, I took him into my room, snuggled him for a few minutes, then read him a couple of books, making them last WAY-Y-Y-Y longer than they normally would.

While snuggling, he began his saga again about his daddy. In an effort, possibly jealous-effort, to even the score just a tiny bit, I asked:

"So, Son, can Mommy do anything?"

Shrieks of laughter.

I guess not.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Freedom

I'm surrounded by the laughter of children. A breeze flutters across my face, bringing with it the scent of theater-style popcorn and cotton candy. I move out of the warm sun into the shade of a big tree, noticing a father holding his sons hand as they walk by, the child excitedly talking. A mother leans down to give a bite of a snowcone to her daughter. Next to me, two older men are chatting about politics and the need for rain. I stroll over to a drink stand and wait for a soda. A man arrives at the same moment as me, but the workers are adding ice to the cooler, so we wait patiently. When the job is finished the workers look at the two of us.

"Who's next?" they asked. I point to him and look to see him pointing at me. We both laugh softly and I place my order.

Behind the drink stand is a round gazebo with built-in benches for sitting. I invite my guests to join me in the gazebo and, as we enter, a man is talking with his young granddaughter. When it seems that our addition to the gazebo may create a space problem, he stands, picks up the child, and says, "We've been in here long enough. Enjoy!" and exits the shaded area.

As we sit with our popcorn, snowcones and soda, my youngest runs up to me.

"Mommy!" he yells, excitedly. "I'm having a wonderful time. I already went down ALL the waterslides and I saw lots of my friends."

I hug him and smile. His brother and sister must be having a wonderful time, too, because I've yet to see them.

After resting for a few minutes, we decide to check on my guests' son. We wander down the yard towards the waterslides. To my left, I see several babies and small toddlers playing in a low sprinkler and tumbling down the slide of a baby pool while watchful parents stand poised to help. In amongst the small crowd is my dear friend and her beautiful baby. He's laughing and splashing in a pool. She's bent down towards him, tenderly caressing his head, smiling into his cherubic face. Then I notice the music, soft and distant - the strains of patriotic songs are coming from somewhere.

The breeze stirs again and we spot our sons together in line at a waterslide. My friend pulls out her camera and excuses herself to walk closer, hoping to capture the look on her son's face as he bounces off the top of the slide. I look around for Deanna and catch a glimpse of her in the distance, sucking on a ring pop she must have won in one of the games. Here, by the slides, I can hear parents calling to their children and laughing as they watch the antics. Children's laughter is decidedly louder and the sounds of merriment are more intense. An older couple are deep in conversation on a bench in the shade of a large pecan tree. People all around me are greeting each other and "Happy 4th" can be heard from every direction.

Thankfulness wells up in my heart. Today did not come without work and sacrifice. It's not something that occurs by accident. Even the freedom to celebrate this way is something unique. As I listen to the laughter around me, I think of the many lives that have been lost for this day to happen, the men and women who gave EVERYTHING for our freedom, not even completely understanding what that might mean to future generations.

And I think of the lives lost so that other lands might enjoy this freedom, many without success. My father spent two years of his life in Vietnam, fighting for that country's freedom. They are not celebrating today. And celebrations like this are something most Vietnamese have probably NEVER seen.

I think about the conversation with my sister two weeks ago as she recounted to me the scene at the Moving Wall, a 3/4 scale model of the Vietnam Veteran's War Memorial in D.C. The Wall came to our town and my father was asked to sit on the stage and participate in the dedication. It brought back memories of the time years ago I took him to see the Wall. There are no dates on the black granite - just name upon name upon name, completely overwhelming in the magnitude. We asked a worker to help us find the years Daddy was there. She directed us to a section of the granite. Papa stood, reading name after name.

"He was one of my men." "Oh, yes, there's so-and-so." "I had forgotten about young blank." "So many. . . so many . . ." until he finally turned, pressed his back against the wall, and slid to the ground. I found a place on the grass next to him and he began to share, story after story of men assigned to his unit who died. As he'd tell a story, his eyes would fill with tears and his voice would falter. He'd pause for a moment, collect himself, then finish the story of some young American's gruesome death.

"They all died," he said, distractedly. I turned and glanced at the tower of names, extending almost limitlessly to the right and left.

"Yes, Papa, they all died." I felt my throat tightening, feeling a little guilty at the incredible blessing of the life of my father and understanding how many of his men didn't return. I don't know why God chose to preserve him and so few others. But I'm thankful.

My father fought for today. He lived to be thankful for his freedom. Many others didn't. In the distance, I think I hear the sound of taps playing on a lone trumpet.

Later, as the evening ends with a stirring tribute to the Flag and a roaring rendition of "God Bless the U.S.A.", I find myself involuntarily standing when the words, "And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today . . ." are sung.

She is worth defending. The many who have died are worthy of our honor. And even unpopular wars deserve the respect of those of us who celebrate our freedom.

God bless the U.S.A. and thank you, Lord, for our freedom, so selflessly fought for, so valiantly won.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Mama, the Dreamer

Don: "Don't stand on the dog."

Daelyn: "I'm not. I'm rubbing his ear with my foot."

Donovan is looking quite shaggy again. When we bought him from the breeder, we understood that he would need stripping twice a year, every six months, to keep him looking pretty. HA! He needs stripping about every two months, and it takes about two months to complete his stripping.

Last night I pulled him up on the couch next to me and began pulling out the long hairs on his face. I cleared a very nice spot on the left side, which is extraordinarily soft. His overcoat is always rough and thick and his undercoat is soft and fuzzy. While we're in the stripping stage, we love to rub and pet the parts that have already been stripped. I grabbed Donovan and pulled him into my lap on the couch this morning to kiss his little soft left-side of his mohawk. He's not stupid and was sure he was in for another round, fighting me to get off the couch. I was disappointed I couldn't seem to secure any affection, so I grabbed Daelyn next. I wrapped my arms around him, then pivoted my hips, pulling him over me and around to my other side as I reclined.

Daelyn laughed. "That was unexpected," he said.

Yep. I'm quite the unexpected Mom - to everyone except Donovan.

While Daelyn and I were snuggling, Don was sitting at the computer. I asked him if he'd help me open a drawer on the bureau that's stuck before he left this morning. Someone had pushed it past the stopping point and now it's impossibly wedged.

"Daddy can do ANYTHING," Daelyn explained to me. "He's an electrical engineer."

I wondered if there was ever a time in my children's eyes that Mommy could do anything. If there was, I don't remember it. But at least Daddy still holds that position in one of our children's eyes.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

This and That

I feel like I've dropped off the face of the earth. We've been having a wonderful time, but we're also busy. I haven't even thought about my Blog.

We're going back to West Virginia next week. The children don't feel like they've had enough time with their grandparents . . . neither do I, so we're going for about 5 days before we leave Dane for his week. Don can't go with us, but the children and I are looking forward to some rest and peace.

We've done a lot of crafts. If Dane has a free moment, I find him crafting. For Deanna, it's reading. Daelyn has enjoyed having unlimited time to play with his cars and legos.

We were looking over the school supplies list for the Elementary the other day. Dane is going into 4th grade and he'll begin to use pens this year, so he has to have erasable pens.

Dane: "I've never heard of such a thing. I didn't know there WERE erasable pens."

Me: "Yep! But they don't work very well."

Deanna: "The pens work great. The erasers just don't work very well."

Daelyn: "I'd LOVE to see an 'invincible pen'."