Now, Just Where's That Edge?

How long can I go without sleep? That's the question I ponder at 1:47 a.m. as I lay in bed, wide awake, my mind churning and racing.

After Grandma Doughty's death, I went without a good night's sleep for 10 days. As I was beginning to noticeably fray around the edges, a dear friend from church encouraged me to take advantage of my Ambien prescription.

"Just rely on it for a couple of weeks, to get you through this tough spot," she told me. "Take it from me; I've been there. You have to get some sleep, Patti."

It was wonderful advice and I took an Ambien that very evening. For the next two weeks, I relied on sleep aids. Then I came down with bronchitis and sleep began to elude me again, the congestion in my chest causing me to cough constantly when I laid down.

When I saw the doctor last Monday, I told him I was having trouble sleeping at night because of my cough.

"Take Nyquil," he suggested. "That should knock you out and give you a good night's sleep."

No such luck. I realized that the two plus weeks of Ambien had affected my body's ability to respond to sleep aids, but I was pretty desperate, unable to fight the bronchitis with no sleep. So I began doubling up on Ambien - two 10 mg pills each night.

Last night, I decided enough was enough. I've got to wean my body off of the "help" and begin to teach myself to fall asleep naturally again after a long, exhausting day.

The result? An absolutely sleepless night. But, after enduring a brutal headache from sleeplessness all day and the energy-stripping effects of my bronchitis which seems to remain unchecked by the antibiotics the doctor gave me, I was sure I'd be two sheets to the wind tonight.

So here I sit, now 1:59 a.m. Apparently, my exhaustion isn't enough to still my mind. While I'm determined to do this the natural way, I'm a little concerned about how my immune system is going to battle this bug without the benefit of rest to recharge my batteries.

Weren't there some studies done in the 70's on the need for REM and NREM sleep each night? My recollection is that the test subjects slowly went crazy when robbed of quality sleep over time. I just don't remember how much time it took. I suppose, in my condition, I'm predisposed to topple over the edge more quickly, anyway.

And I feel that edge looming ever closer. Maybe dropping off the sanity index will help me get to sleep - no more worrying over what to do about this situation or that problem. Just blissful craziness.

Do I already sound a little loony? Just wait until I've had another couple of sleepless nights.