Daelyn's Turn

As I was tucking Daelyn into bed, late again, one night last week, he begged me to snuggle him.

"Say 'The Prayer', Mommy," he whined. 'The Prayer' is my goodnight prayer I pray over the children at bedtime. It's very long, and I race through it, taking one deep, long breath nearing the end. It began simply but gained steam over the years and as the children began dealing with different issues in their lives.

It's not magic, just a conglomeration of the things that are important to our family. Daelyn loves to hear 'The Prayer', but sometimes I pray it over Dane and sometimes, I'm just too dang tired to pray it over anyone. Plus, I've found lately that I lose my train of thought in the middle and that really frustrates Daelyn.

"Son, not tonight," I told him. "I'm just too tired." The truth was, I knew I couldn't make it all the way through. I closed the door over top of his complaints and headed into the Den to read.

Fifteen minutes later, Daelyn stood in front of me with tears pouring down his face.

"Mama, I need 'The Prayer'," he said. "I asked you nicely. PLEASE, Mama, please, pray it over me."

I tucked him under my arm on the couch and quietly prayed. He stayed there and, within minutes, I heard even breathing and knew he was asleep. I woke him and ushered him back into bed.

The next night, at bedtime, he appealed to me again.

"Please can I fall asleep in your arms again?"

I'm always a little slow to process things, and even more so since Mom's death, but I agreed. The next day, it finally struck me what was happening. I'm sure it was the Holy Spirit who prodded me gently, but I realized that Daelyn is grieving, too. He needs assurances at bedtime, when his body is still and his mind is racing, that his mommy is still very much alive and loves him. He needs my arms around him, the warmth of by body next to his.

I wish I was quicker to pick up on these things. It would have made Daelyn's grieving process a little easier. But at least now I understand, so I've spent the last few nights snuggling him at bedtime.

Deanna's had her breakdown, Daelyn's now manifesting grief (if you look closely), but I can't tell what's going on with Dane, other than a surly attitude. Maybe that's HIS way of grieving.

I'll need to watch him a little closer. I need to be there for the children, even as I go through the process.

That's what Mom's are for. And I'm sure that thought has gone through Don's mind many times over the last 3 weeks.