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Friday, February 26, 2010

A Short Post, for a change

Deanna and I saw a commercial where a guy found a $20 bill in the dryer at a laundromat. At the end of the commercial, he said something like,

"Come on, Andrew Jackson, let's go spend our money."

Deanna: "Andrew Jackson is his dog's name."

Me: "Andrew Jackson is the President whose picture is on the front of the $20 bill. He was talking to the money!"

Deanna: "YOU win."

True story. Scary!

(Later, I asked her about this and she responded that she seldom sees $20 bills. I'm sure THAT's true.)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Whew! Good thing SHE'S gone!

When we checked in at Kanuga on Friday, I asked the guy at the front desk if our cabin had a fireplace.

"Yes," he said, "and there's firewood stacked on the side of the cabin. We have fire-starters and newspaper here if you need it."

The fire-starters were wrapped with the newspaper in tight, neat little bundles. I took two with me from the desk, thinking I'd use one per night.

Unfortunately, the firewood was VERY wet, having gotten snowed on, then soaking up the melting snow. Our attempt at a fire the first night failed miserably, despite the very green kindling the boys drug into the living room (imagine that!), and we used up both fire-starters. The wood burned and charred but never really caught on fire.

The next night, I was determined to get a fire going. Don had mentioned to me that there was a cabin a few down the road from us that had wood under an overhang and it might be drier. I headed out with a flashlight. First I checked our woodpile and there, on the end, were beautiful, perfectly-sized kindling pieces. I examined each log separately and took in several that looked drier along with my beautiful kindling. Then I headed to the cabin next door. It was unoccupied, so I felt quite free to hit their woodpile. Sure enough, their wood was MUCH drier than ours. I chose about 6 nice logs and took them into our cabin.

Needless to say, within minutes I had a roaring fire. I think I piled on at least 6 logs at once. Eventually, it got so hot that I was able to put some of our logs on. The heat dried out the logs and they burned nicely. For 4 - 5 hours, I had a roaring fire, which was so hot at times that we had to open the front door to cool off the cabin.

The one piece I forgot to mention earlier is that I sent each boy into the front desk separately for fire-starters. Then I waited until a new employee was manning the desk and got two more.

Sunday morning, as we were dressing for church, I ran into the living room to check the fireplace; lots of ashes, two small, charred ends of logs pushed back into opposite corners. All my wood had burned nicely and completely. Don walked into the room and noticed me smiling as I looked at the fireplace.

"These people are going to be very happy to have you gone," he commented. When I looked up at him quizzically, he continued, "Never in the history of Kanuga has any one family gone through so many fire-starters and so much firewood."

Yup, I thought. That's what fireplaces are for. If they didn't want us to use them, they shouldn't have put them in the cabins.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"No, no emergency"

My nephew, a Paramedic who's training to provide medical care on medical helicopters, is working for an ambulance company up the road from our house. He called last night and asked if he could stop by. He and his partner had just finished up a call and were on their way to dinner.

"Sure!" I responded. "I'd LOVE for you to stop by."

A few minutes later, the front door opened. One of my sisters was here visiting, so we ran to the dining room to greet him. He introduced his partner, and while we stood chatting, Deanna commented, "Uh, oh! People must've spotted the ambulance in the driveway."

I looked out the door to see the running lights on the ambulance still on and I could hear the engine running. It must be procedure so they're ready at a minute's notice to take another call.

Within minutes, a neighbor and close friend showed up at the front door.

"Is everyone alright?" he asked. We explained that Russ is driving an ambulance now and stopped by for a visit. He laughed, chatted for a couple of minutes, then headed back home. Only minutes later, the front door flew open and another family friend from up the street, Bob Visintainer, strode in.

"What's wrong? Is it Patti, Don, or one of the kids?" he asked. Behind him, our front stoop was getting crowded. Harriet and Dennis McBride followed him and our next door neighbor, Joey, was behind them. Joey is about Russell's age, his mother is Russell's mother's best friend, and they've known each other since they were both young boys.

Joey quickly spotted Russy.

"Hey, Man!" he yelled to my nephew, who responded, matching Joey's enthusiasm. I explained to all our friends that there was no emergency, just a social visit from one of my favorite nephews. Someone muttered, "If he wants to visit again, he ought to drive a CAR!" We all laughed.

As the neighbors peeled off the stairs to return home, my sister and I smiled knowingly at each other. It's good to live in a place where so many people are concerned about you and follow up their feelings with actions. I was sorry to alarm such dear friends, but their concern spoke deeply to my heart.

The only thing that could've been nicer last night than my sister's drop-in visit and my nephew swinging by was all those dear, caring folks that took time to check up on us.

I'll have my nephew park the ambulance in the back yard next time. Unfortunately, that may attract a whole different group of neighbors!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Parish Family Retreat

We had our First Annual Parish Family Retreat this weekend. It was held at Kanuga, an Episcopal retreat center in the mountains of North Carolina outside of Hendersonville.

When our Priest first began talking about the retreat, he seemed very tentative. We had reserved space, but he just wasn't sure if people really would sign up. The Youth decided to go, stay in one of the bigger cabins together, and spend the day skiing at Wolf Laurel, a short drive. They joined us for meals and the sessions, except the ones on Saturday.

I told Don several months ago that I wanted to go. He seemed surprised. It's just that we miss out on a lot of church activities because they overlap with Community functions. This was a chance to support the church as well as build some deeper relationships. Two weeks before the final deadline, we compared our calendars and Don sent in a check with our reservation form.

By the following Sunday, it was amazing how fast word had spread. At least 10 people came to me and expressed excitement that we were going. Interestingly, many of my closest friends from church were going to attend the Retreat.

Things got a little tricky with it following so closely on the heels of my niece's wedding. My sister from California, who stayed with us, didn't leave until 1 p.m. on Thursday. I planned on taking the children out of school at noon on Friday so we could get to Kanuga early enough to unpack and settle into our cabin before dinner.

We got packed and loaded, but were later than we had hoped leaving. Don joked that if we looked hard enough, we'd find the kitchen sink in the back of the van. In spite of all we DID take, I forgot pajamas for me and the extra set of clothes I took for everyone got used up rather quickly and left me hanging blue jeans in front of the fireplace and leaving tennis shoes on the hearth. I took a spare pair of shoes for everyone as part of their "extra" outfit, and still ran out of shoes and clothes. We had to send Daelyn to the session Saturday night in Dane's slippers.

On the way up in the van, I pulled out the schedule and read it aloud. Dane and Daelyn were very frustrated. They didn't quite understand what a "retreat" was. They kept asking questions like, "If we go to church tonight, do we STILL have to go on Sunday?"

Deanna sighed from the back of the van as I tried to explain what retreating was. When we arrived at the first session and the seats faced each other with a wide middle aisle, the boys began getting very suspicious. Then they discovered the Prayer Books on every chair and the complaining started. I finally responded with that century's old mother's reached the end of her rope saying - "I don't want to hear another word about it!" The people around me looked curiously at me.

Then the evening started. After an introduction, review of the schedule, and a prayer, the Youth Director came forward. He first had us put ourselves in groups by the type of toothpaste we use. Next, groups by the type of shampoo, followed by whether we roll the toilet paper under or over. Several more obscure groupings followed, until everyone was sufficiently loosened up, including the children, who were having a marvelous time. Next, he applied sticky notes to each person's forehead. Each sticky note had the name of an entertainer or a historical figure. We were to work the room, asking only "yes/no" questions, and guess who our person was.

Dane had Galileo, and did a great job asking questions and guessing. The church members were very impressed with his questions. Deanna had Moses and she struggled a little when one of the children told her it was a woman. I had Yoko Ono and would NEVER have guessed mine if it wasn't for the kind prodding of some of the folks, encouraging me to ask "certain" questions.

After the games, we took a short break, then regathered for singing and refocusing. Father David showed a brief video that explored prayer using a musical analogy (which the children ALSO enjoyed), then we had Compline (a type of evening prayer). We were done by 8:30 and adjourned to the Lodge, in front of a roaring fire, for snacks and fellowship. By the time we got back to our cabin, the children nearly fell into bed.

So, enough of the minutia. We made prayer shawls and icons and had teachings on prayer and time to spend alone with the Lord. We had great, filling meals and tons of fellowship and scheduled free time on Saturday afternoon.

I neglected to mention earlier that, on the drive to Kanuga, the children and Don saw two wild turkeys in the woods off the Interstate and there was LOTS of snow and ice - not on the roads, where it was dangerous, but on the sides where it was beautiful. Dane pointed out huge, 6-foot icicles cascading down a cliff on the side of the road. We prayed that there'd be enough snow at Kanuga for play. Our prayers were answered.

Saturday, at lunch, we still hadn't decided what we were going to do. A close friend of mine from church, who I never see because we now attend different services, and her son had been assigned to our cabin with us. We stayed up until 2 a.m. Friday night cstching up. It was wonderful. Anyway, she hadn't yet decided about her afternoon, either. People were inviting others to join them for winery tours and shopping when a couple stopped by our table and told us that they had brought along sleds, thinking we might want to use them. They had a two-person plastic sled and two saucers. A plan quickly began taking shape. Don would take our three and my friend's son sledding and she and I would go shopping.

When we got home, the children were exhausted, wet, and extremely happy. They had a wonderful time. The sledding was probably the highlight of the trip for them, although the snowball fights, family time and fires came close behind.

Church on Sunday was amazing. It was held in The Chapel of the Transfiguration, which is all done in wood. We were the only group there, and Father David had asked several of the children to participate in the service, reading prayers, scriptures, etc. The sermon was a Play on the Gospel reading and it held everyone's interest. It was poignant and captivating and the perfect worship service for this Retreat.

We got home last night about 5. None of the children wanted to leave Kanuga. It was rather a quiet evening, each of us reflecting on our memories individually.

Fr. David asked us during the closing session what we thought about the Retreat. Overwhelmingly, we all agreed we wanted to come back again next year, so he charged our Christian Education Director with making reservations before she left. The children and I definitely want to attend again next year. Don's not so sure. I guess we'll have to wait and see. He thinks it was a pretty expensive weekend. I think it was cheap for the memories we made.

Monday, February 08, 2010

New E-mail Account Here

Deanna's been asking for her own e-mail account. Apparently, all her classmates have them and she wanted to get in on the chatter. She talked with me about it, I pondered it for a few days, then presented it to Don.

My feeling is this: one day, in the not-too-distant future, she'll be gone and will be able to do whatever she wants. It's our job, while she's still at home, to train her and guide her into making wise decisions. That said, I told her that her father and I would have to have her password and WOULD be checking it to see who she was talking to and what was being said. There would be no obscene conversations, no chatting with ANYONE she didn't know well, and no Chat Rooms. And, she is not to give out any personal info. Her friends already know all that stuff about her, anyway.

She readily agreed. She's not trying to pull a fast one on us, she just wants to begin to grow up a little. Don was reluctant, which floored me. When the kids were little, I'd take them to McDonald's. If they were afraid of the slide, no big deal. They didn't have to do it. Don would take them and coax them, work with them, help them up the ladders, sometimes even slide down with them. I asked him about it one day.

"They need to push through things that frighten them a little," he told me. "It's okay to be afraid, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do something." A good, sound, manly opinion. When it came to ourselves, I'm the daredevil and Don's the cautious one. With our children, I'm the molly-coddler, he's the "push them a little to overcome their fears and weaknesses" one.

He's always done that with the children. So, his reaction to allowing Deanna this little freedom surprised me.

"I'm just not sure it's wise, hon," he told me. "What do YOU think?"

"I think we need to begin to let her grow up while we can monitor her choices," I responded.

His concerns were two-fold: he doesn't want to let his daughter grow up just yet (my words, not his), and he says it's difficult to set up e-mail accounts since BellSouth merged with AT&T. But he also didn't seem to be in any big rush to try.

I told Deanna about my conversation with her father. She waited a few days and talked with him again. No response. A few more days and another conversation. No response. After repeating this pattern for a couple of weeks, she got frustrated on Saturday night and appealed to me.

"Mom, can't I set up a Google account? My friends all say it's real easy."

I finally decided we were both tired of waiting on Don and I might as well let her try. She was successful. Last night, after she had spent several hours chatting with her friends, I went onto her account and read the comments and smiled to myself.

They consisted of such important commentary as, "The Colts are gonna win"; "Hey, Dude"; "I luv your 'likes' list"; "You're so funny"; :) ; etc. - pretty innocent.

I realize that doesn't always mean they'll be innocent, but she's having a blast with it so far. She told me about a 4-way conversation she had with three of her girlfriends. She feels like "one of the crowd" a little bit now, something Deanna's never much felt.

I'm pleased that it worked out but will continue to monitor her. It's easy to slip into a problem without even realizing and I don't want that to happen. But I DO trust her and think she's old enough to begin judging some of those things for herself.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Lenten Project

My friend, Kelly (http://www.inthesheepfold.blogspot.com/) told me about an idea she read about and is pursuing for Lent. It's something like "40 Bags for 40 Days". Anyway, the concept is to get rid of one bag of "stuff" for each day of Lent to simplify your life.

Boy, do we ever need simplifying. Kelly and Rachel, a neighbor, keep telling me that purging your home is something that must be continually done. You have to always be on the lookout to get rid of those things that threaten to overtake your home.

Rachel told me a story once about throwing out some "old stuff" one of her sons had brought home from school. It turns out, he had only brought it home the previous day, and he was a little hurt that Mom had gotten rid of it before he had a chance to play with it. Rachel commented that she might need to back off just a little.

Would that I had THAT problem. I do manage to throw out old schoolwork, but we seem to have lost Daelyn's spelling words (with a backside that needed to be turned in as homework) this week and I suspect they ended up in the Recycle Bin with the old stuff. That's always my fear, so I hold onto stuff way too long.

And other members of my family have never met anything they think should be thrown out. Clutter abounds. And, as I've said before, when there's so much "stuff" (dare I say, "junk"?) laying around, I spend all my free time sorting and organizing, putting away, and there's no time left for REAL cleaning.

I can't stand it!! It drives me crazy! I was determined, when we returned from England, to live simply, the way we did while there. We had almost nothing and found creative uses for the things we DID have. Truth be told, that would've gotten VERY old if we had been there for a year or more, but it was doable for 3 months.

I know there's a happy medium between the pared down nothingness of England and the absolutely no spots left in the house in which to put stuff of today. But finding it while fighting 4 other people has always proved a challenge for me.

I'm attempting simplicity again for Lent. I'm going to encourage the children to go through their rooms and each come up with at least one bag of Good Will donations. And Don and I need to have some serious conversations about his "stuff". Last April, before my nephew's wedding, I did a big house overhaul and got rid of lots. Now there's plenty more accumulation that must be addressed.

My niece, Alicia, is getting married next weekend and we'll have family staying with us. Another niece, Lydia, is getting married the first of June in D.C. So, my goal is to begin the process now and be done paring down before leaving for the wedding in June.

Maybe this will make for a simpler, more peaceful summer. The challenge, of course, is getting the rest of the family on board. But I'M committed, and maybe, just maybe, some of my commitment will rub off on at least ONE family member.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Exhaustion

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Since last weekend, I haven't been able to get it together. I'm exhausted, unable to quite get caught up on my sleep. By about 7:30 p.m., I'm ready to hit the bed.

Perhaps if I did, I'd feel better in the morning. But Don was late (after midnight) getting home from work last night, and I desperately wanted to see him, so I stayed up, resting my eyes periodically, curled in a fetal ball on the couch.

Don is being audited by the Department of Energy on Monday and he seemed a little stressed out, thus the late night. I wanted to be there for him, at least in tired, grumpy body - I figured something was better than a snoring body in the dark, cold bed, even if I was a little less than fully there.

I reset my alarm clock this morning. Instead of my usual 6:20 wake-up call, I set it for 7:30. As I perched on the side of my bed, taking off my CPAP mask and my sleep socks, I could hear the children in the kitchen, dishes clattering, soft chatter. Then Daelyn appeared next to me in pajamas.

"How can I make it to school on time?" he asked.

"Did you JUST get up?" I quizzed. Nothing like stating the obvious.

HE had a rough night, too. He appeared in our bed around 1 a.m. It took me quite a while to realize he was there, even though he was playing with the dog and making a typical Daelyn-commotion. Finally, I zoned in and barked at him to settle down and get under the covers.

"I'm gettin' back in my OWN bed," he responded. I remember thinking, "GREAT!", although it was too late by then, he had already woken the dead. He climbed back out and I fell right back into my dream.

He managed to get ready and eat breakfast in time and still get into trouble, playing with Dane and running through the house.

I'm going back to bed - at least until I have to report at school for my math class. Maybe I can grab another 1/2 hour of sleep before my bath.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Two Awesome Cars



Dane's canoe and Daelyn's race car from the Pinewood Derby. They're both amazing works of art.

Just Call Me Helga

I'm substitute teaching in Deanna's math class for a few days this week. I haven't subbed for this class in several years, but they have a history of walking ALL over me - the whole "familiarity breeds contempt" concept. I've known these kids since birth, I talk with many of them almost daily. I'm Aunt Patti and the transition to Mrs. Doughty never quite took. It got bad enough, that I chose for a couple of years to sub only in other elementary classrooms and not take assignments with Deanna's class.

Now, two years into Middle School, they have me for 3 days running. After praying and thinking about it, I decided to start out with a sterner image. Does the word Nazi conjure up an image?

In my preparations, I assigned seats. As the kids walked into the classroom yesterday, I barked out their seat assignments from the front of the classroom. Most of them stood around bewildered. One girl even attempted to quiz me.

"Did Mrs. Reilly leave those seat assignments?" she asked, as if I had no right to do it if Mrs. Reilly hadn't left me a note. I chose to ignore the comment and continued moving the children into MY spots.

We did have a little bit of humor. One of the boys, a neighbor and someone we all (dare I say it, even Deanna) consider a friend, wasn't there, yet I had assigned him to three different seats! The kids caught on before me.

"Aunt Patti, you've just put Ethan up there, back here, and over there," several of them commented.

"Oops," I said. "Don't worry. We'll get it straight."

And we did. I then told them that they were to sit in their assigned seats all week and these were to cut down on idle chatter. I had placed the chatter boxes next to quiet children who won't be engaged in conversation!! Ha, ha! Evil Mrs. Doughty - using my knowledge of them against them!!!

Then I announced that I haven't subbed for them since Elementary. They're now in their second year of Middle School and I expected them to ACT like Middle Schoolers. There were be no frivolous talk and there would be NO disrespect towards me. I followed up with, "Is that clear?" and made them all respond with a "Yes, ma'am."

Off to a great start. The first five minutes went swimmingly, right up until we started classwork. I had poured over my lesson plans, working every problem, being sure I understood how to get the answers in case the class needed me to explain them. However, when I started to teach, I discovered that their Monday substitute hadn't done ANY classwork and they hadn't finished all the work last week that this lesson plan was based on. I didn't even have the material where they were at, and I certainly hadn't prepared.

I began trying to quickly move them through the older material so we could get up to where I was prepared, but they're learning about simple and compound interest and banking procedures and there was nothing quick or easy about it. There were several problems that they were unsure how to work and everyone got different answers, all of which were different from the Teacher's Manual, which didn't SHOW the work, only the answers. I finally had to wimp out and told them I work on the problem at home last night and go over it with them today.

I spent last night doing Math homework. I did every problem I assigned the students so I can be sure to check their process as well as their answers. I got myself up to running speed again, but it took the whole evening. I reworked my lesson plan for today based on what we accomplished yesterday and what I hope to accomplish today. At this rate, we'll be ready to jump into the lesson plans that were left for me the first day I'm NOT teaching.

I used to always say that the joy of subbing was that it was occasional, you didn't have to make a long-term commitment, and there were no lesson plans or homework to have to do. I guess that was Elementary, not Middle School.

When Deanna got home yesterday, I asked her how she thought it went.

"Mama," she gushed, "you have NO idea. Our class has NEVER been that quiet, not in ANY class. You were HELGA!!"

I THINK that's a good thing. At least we had order. Now if we can just figure out the Math, we'll be accomplishing something.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Well, whatever . . .

I've been so busy the last month, and so exhausted, that one day has just run into the next. It seems I've lost all track of time. In addition to my hand surgery and kidney stone, I'm substitute teaching 7th grade math for a few days, my sister and I planned and put on a Bridal Shower for my niece last night, and my mother injured her arm and has been unable to use it. I've been spending as much time as possible checking in on her and taking meals back and forth. My house looks like a tornado ran through and my body feels the same.

Yesterday, Deanna and I were chatting when the topic of her science project came up.

"You need to get moving on your project, hon," I told her.

"I know, Mom. Faith and I were supposed to get together last Saturday to work on it, but we had the basketball tournament and weren't able to," she said.

"When is it due?" I asked.

"Not until sometime in March."

Wow, my very confused mind told me, and I responded, "You'd better hurry up! February's almost done!"

There was a moment of silence while Deanna looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Mom," she said. "It's February 1st!"

Did I mention I'm a little confused?

Monday, February 01, 2010

A Good Laugh After School

I had my surgical follow-up appointment with the Urologist today. He did an X-ray and told me I have another stone, a small one, that's still in my kidney. He said we'll need to watch it because the one I passed was getting larger and this one is likely to do that, too.

He took me down to look at the X-ray with him and pointed out the stone and both kidneys. When I registered surprise at how large my kidneys looked, he measured them and told me that they're a "good size". I saw a white mark, 4 times or so bigger than the stone, on the X-ray above the stone.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Have you had your gall bladder out?" he responded. I explained that they removed it while I was pregnant and he said,

"That's the clamp that they put on the tube going into your gall bladder. You'll always have that in there."

What a surprise. I didn't know I had utensils left in my body.

After I picked the children up from school today, we ran down to Wendy's to get a Frosty for their snack. I'm putting on a Bridal Shower for my niece tonight with one of my sisters at my mother's house and won't be able to spend much time with the children, so I thought a Frosty and a few minutes of quality time with Mom might help.

We pulled up in the driveway and sat, talking while finishing off our snacks. I told them about my doctor's appointment, then remembering and adding the part about the clamp.

"Geez, Mom," Deanna said, "you just found out you have a screw in your thumb, now you hear about a clamp in your belly - you're full of stuff."

Dane added, "I'm held together with glue, but you're held together with hardware."

We all had a good laugh. After Dane had his ear accident in England, they glued it back together again. Previously, when he was about a year old, he had split his head open and they glued it back together. We've kidded him since England, and he enjoys repeating the statement, that he's held together with glue.

"What am I held together with, Mom?" Deanna asked.

"Acne medicine and deodorant," I yelled while laughing. Deanna cracked up.

"I have deodorant in placed I don't EVEN want to mention," she added.

So, that's us - the Doughty Family. One's held together with hardware, one with glue, one with deodorant.

And what about Daelyn?

I'm not quite ready to go there.