Last Friday night, we went out to dinner at the local Mexican place. While we were waiting to place our orders, Don wrote out an algebra word problem on a napkin and gave it to Deanna to solve. She really struggled, even after he explained what the two variables would be. Ultimately, she couldn't solve his double-variable algebraic word problem about a caterpillar and a grasshopper moving opposite directions around a circle.
Tonight, at the dinner table, we were talking about rocket scientists.
"I could be a rocket scientist," Deanna said.
"Uh, no, I don't think so," her daddy said. When we all looked at him quizzically, he added, "A caterpillar and a grasshopper moving opposite directions around a circle . . . "
Deanna's mouth dropped open and she looked at me.
"Is Daddy saying I'm too dumb to be a rocket scientist?"
"It sure seems that way, honey," I responded.
Don: "But don't worry, Sissy. If all else fails, you can be a seamstress!"
Me: "Oh, lovely. That's the most to which you aspire for your daughter - a seamstress?!?"
Deanna: "I couldn't be a seamstress. I get too stressed out!! Oh, my gosh, I can't even be a seamstress!"
Don: "Well, if they ever add swimming to the Miss America Pageant, you could be a beauty queen."
Me: "Maybe what they need to do is add different sports to each year's pageant."
Don: "Yes, like the Olympics."
Me: "One year, they could do javelin throwing . . . in high heels."
Daelyn: " 'Sorry - I didn't mean to put out your eye'."
Deanna: "Or boxing."
Me: "And the girl with the most teeth left is proclaimed the winner!!"
Sad. Just sad. This is what we do at Family Dinners.
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