We just returned home from North Carolina where we met Don's parents and handed Deanna over to them for a week. They'll bring her home next weekend and stay with our kids for us while Don and I go on our 10th Anniversary trip. We've never left all the children overnight before, and this will be for two nights, but I'm ready and can't think of a more peaceful situation than for Grandma and Grandpa Doughty to keep the kids for us.
Driving down the road, I kept picturing her in my mind, brushing the hair away from her face with my hands, then wrapping them around her neck and smiling into those beautiful little eyes. Anytime she's away from me and driving with someone else, I have to fight a fear that she'll be in an accident and injured. I don't seem to worry when she's with me and Don, only other people. I guess I'm afraid no one else understands just how precious she is. I have to constantly refocus my mind and push the thoughts and fears away.
The house already seems empty. When Deanna was born, everyone told me that I would always have peace in my home with a daughter for an eldest child. I didn't quite understand, until the boys were born. Deanna keeps them occupied and entertained. If the house is quiet, I always know to look for them in her room. She'll have them making puppets and planning a show or building a fort with chairs and blankets, or just drawing. But if it's quiet, Deanna's involved.
The boys will miss her this week almost as much as me. Without her presence, I'm sure noise and confusion will be the prevailing atmosphere in the house. But we're willing to make the sacrifice so that she can have special time with Grandma and Grandpa. Maybe this week, they'll have an opportunity to experience the joy in life that comes from Deanna.
I miss you, my baby. Have fun this week, but hurry home to Mommy.
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