Scheduling

We went to visit my in-law's in West Virginia this weekend. We always have a wonderful time there. They spoil the children and Don and I and it's very relaxed and restful.

Don hadn't seen his parents in quite some time. While I'm very committed to taking my children to see their grandparents, it's often while Don is working and can't get away. I begged him to make some time this summer to visit them.

We left Deanna behind. She'll be spending this week alone with her grandparents. We left around 7:30 yesterday morning for our homeward trek and walked through our kitchen door a little after 6 p.m. We hadn't been home 5 minutes when the phone began to ring. It was Deanna.

"Hi, Mom," she said, very perky. "Uh, oh," I thought. She was really struggling the night before we left and Don and I both spent time alone with her. While she loves being with her grandparents and really looks forward to it every summer, she's also a homebody and doesn't like being away from me and her daddy.

"Hi, sweetie. You almost missed us. We JUST got home. Is everything alright?"

"Yep. I just wanted to call and say hi." I was still afraid there was some problem that was being masked by cheerfulness, so I prompted her a little.

"What'd you do today, sweetie?"

"Oh, Grandma and I went to Crafts 2000 (an awesome crafts outlet store that we went to on Sunday afternoon - all of us, the whole family), I worked on . . . "

She went on and on and on and on about all they had done in one short day. She and Grandma had done this, she and Grandpa had done that. "Oh, and, by the way, the book that Grandpa wrote that has our pictures in it arrived today and I got to see the whole book. It was awesome . . . " on and on.

"I asked Grandma if I'm talking more this time and she said, 'You sure are. Did your mother talk to you?'" Deanna goes ever summer and never speaks to her grandparents. They are naturally quiet people and if YOU don't initiate a conversation, there likely won't be any. I've been trying to teach Deanna for several years how to relate to her quiet grandparents. It seems this year she's finally secure enough to talk to them and is REALLY enjoying herself. She's probably talking their ears off, but she feels like she's getting to know them better and I'm quite certain they're getting to know her better.

"Honey, Daelyn's crying. Something's happened and I need to go. Can we call you back after the van is unpacked so Daddy can talk to you?"

"Well, I called early because I'm planning on watching a movie from 7 to 9. Grandma and I looked it up in the tv schedule and she said I could stay up to watch it, so I'm trying to get everything done before 7:00 so there's no interruptions."

It finally cut through my fog. She wasn't lonely. She didn't even really need to talk to me. She's having a wonderful time. But she knew I'd call to tell her goodnight and want to hear all about her day, so she pre-empted me so she wouldn't be disturbed during her "planned evening". My heart jumped a little when I realized my little girl is growing up. She's more secure than she's ever been, having a great time away from home, making sure she meets her commitment to me while scheduling her time to optimize her fun. I giggled a little thinking about it.

"I guess I could run and take my shower now so I'll be done in time to talk to Daddy before my movie starts," she said. It seemed a very clear directive to me. Hang up now, Mom, and have Daddy call prior to 7, please.

We'd hate to interrupt her movie.