A Kiss Well-Planted

There is a man who goes to Church with us that can only be described as a curmudgeon. He's older - retired a few years ago - and never married. He's a little chubby, wears his pants below his belly, and always has about 3 days growth on his face. His hair is always too long, he's partially deaf, and he refuses to speak to women.

For 11 years now, I've been going to church with him, but he's very careful to greet Don and ignore me. He's not an unkind person, just a curmudgeon. And it's not only me that feels that way. Recently, an older woman from Church used the same word to describe him.

Several months ago, after Church one Sunday, I was standing at the coffee service area getting myself a cup. I had noticed that we were out of sugar packets and planned on getting some more out of the cabinet after I finished putting cream in my cup. Frank walked up on my left side and began to prepare a cup for himself. He glanced around and commented, to no one in particular, "I need some sugar."

I turned briskly, planted a kiss on his cheek, and went back to stirring my coffee. He began waving his arms, huffing and sputtering, until I was a little afraid he was having a heart attack.

"Why did you do that?" he blurted out. I responded simply, "You said you needed some sugar."

Since that day, whenever I see Frank, I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek. He still had never spoken to me, in greeting or in conversation, nor used my name - until 3 weeks ago.

Church and Sunday School were both over. We had finished visiting and Don and the children had already headed out the door. I was walking across the fellowship hall when I heart Frank yell, "Bye, Patti." I stopped, turned around, noting that he had not only spoken but also used my name. Quickly, I realized that I had neglected his hug and kiss. I walked over to him, leaned down, and said, "Sorry, Frank. I almost missed your kiss today."

He hung his head, never making eye-contact with me, and muttered softly, "I wait for that all week long."

I said, "And I'm awfully glad I can give it," and left.

I've thought alot about that incident lately. Who knows what happened in that man's past to make him so leary of women. It could have been anything from a cruel or abandoning mother to a crushing romance gone wrong. Whatever it is, he feels compelled to not reach out to women. He's not unkind, just dismissive. However, he desperately needs someone to break through his resistance and LOVE HIM. Just like every other human being on the face of the earth, he needs love - accepting, non-critical, consistent love. Who would have ever thought that what began as a little joke would become so important to this isolated, lonely man.

The Lord uses lots of imperfect intentions on our part to accomplish His work. I would be thrilled if I could say that my plan all along was to love Frank. The truth is far from that. I had no intention at all. The thought just struck me at the time that kissing him would be funny. It wasn't disrespect, just impishness on my part. Perhaps, it was even a prompting from the Holy Spirit. In any case, in retrospect, I DO believe that it accomplished the Lord's purpose and, by following through and continuing this practice, have brought a lot of Jesus to this fella.

Just think what could be accomplished with a little forethought, prayer, and purposefully good intentions. I've got way more hugs and I'm sure lots of you do, also, to share with lonely older folks that need them.

My prayer today is that the Lord will use me to reach out to those that the world has forgotten and make sure they don't feel dismissed - not by Him, nor by me.