Together

I wrote yesterday about the strong family culture from which I come. Maybe it's because of this culture that I seem to be raising my children in, perhaps, a little different way. You see, I'm not interested in my children having a lot of playtime with their friends. It's more important to me that they have playtime with each other. Dane and Deanna both have all day at school to be with friends. But their siblings provide secure, unconditional love that supports and builds.

When my children get home from school at the end of a hectic day, they usually just want to "BE HOME". They want to play with their own things and their own siblings. They are, for the most part, home bodies, like their father. Don's idea of a great vacation is taking time off work to stay home. If he had it his way, he'd never leave the house, except for work. I want my children to build relationships and have friendships outside the home, but I want them, first, to have a stable foundation and be able to play with each other. Deanna has friends that aren't happy unless they have a friend over. I would love it if my children never felt the need.

Already, they ask to have friends over far less than any of the other children I know. We shoot for each of them having a friend over to play once or twice a month after school. That way, their homework and chore schedules don't get skewed and they have plenty of downtime with each other.

I hadn't realized that my children had also embraced this idea until the event I wrote about in this Post happened. It seems that, like my family when I was growing up, my children have a very real need for each other. I find this a little surprising considering the differences between my childhood and that of my children's.

I was raised in a committed Christian home. My parents loved the Lord and taught their children to love Him, as well, just like Don and me. The difference is that, while I was raised around good people (military families living overseas have their own peculiar culture), they weren't necessarily Christians raising their families with the same ideals and values as my parents. Don and I, on the other hand, have surrounded ourselves with Christian families. My children go to a Christian school where the children are all taught the same ideals and values as mine and the biggest issue is whether a Disney movie is appropriate to watch with another's children present without calling and asking first. All the parents of my children's friends are sensitive to spiritual issues and we call each other on.

Another difference is that we always lived on the economy of the country. That is, we never lived in neighborhoods or military housing. We were close to each other and played together because WE were all we had. My sisters and brother were my playmates because there were no others close by. Perhaps that's why not being surrounded by other Christians didn't impact us more - we weren't by anyone, except family. My children have an entire neighborhood full of friends with which they can play - all within 3 blocks of our home. But they seldom stray outside of our yard and, if they do, it's usually 5 houses up the street to Grandma's house.

Perhaps the major difference is that we had four girls, only separated by 6 years of age. There was always a sister around that you could interest in some activity or other. But Deanna has no sister and the boys have 2 1/2 years between them. Daelyn is only 3, but Dane is in First Grade. Somehow, though, they seem to be able to reach across age and gender barriers and love playing with each other. Sometimes, they'll all do boy-things, like play race cars or have light sabre battles. Other times, they'll all do girl things. Deanna will dress her brothers up and give them purses and they'll prance around the house in heels and have tea parties. Still others, they'll do non-gender activities like puzzles, video games, or reading. The activity seems to matter little - what matters is that they do it together.

I am so in awe of the Lord and the way He brings about His plan. Although it was the desire of my heart to have children deeply in love with Him and each other, I was clueless how to make this happen. The Lord, however, in His wisdom, knew the ticket, and gave me one of the desires of my heart.

Thank you, Lord, for children that love and appreciate each other. Thank you that they enjoy the simple life of spending time together and sharing what they have with each other. Thank you for the great joy that they bring me. And, most of all, Lord, thank you that they each feel the same and recognize in each other this need, being certain to not trample on it, but to nurture their love for each other.

Thank you for this life.