Desiring Desire

Last week, I attended a prayer meeting at which a man gave a sharing about attending the 25th anniversary of his brother becoming a Monk. At the Ceremony, his brother had shared that his goal in life is to become a Zero, to be nothing for Jesus. That was somewhat shocking to me. I can't imagine choosing to be nothing. But then, my friend shared with us something called "The Litany of Humility". He encouraged us to pray it with him. I was reluctant because I know what can result when you pray for humility. The Litany, however, asked the Lord to give us the DESIRE for humility, the desire to not be loved or accepted, the desire to not be recognized or honored. To desire only to be filled with the Lord.

Last night Don shared Psalm 34 with me. Verses 17 and 18 say, "The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I want the Lord to be close to me. I want Him to save me. According to this scripture, to get there, I must be brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. I want to desire to be empty, crushed. I want to have a heart to be nothing but what the Lord has for me. I want to decrease so that He can increase.

I'm not quite ready yet to pray specifically for those things, but I AM willing to pray for the desire to pray for those things.

And pray, I will, trusting God that the desire to desire is sufficient for now and that He will honor the very deepest desire of my heart, which only He truly can see.