I'd Prefer a Different Kind of Snuggling, If You Please

I was reading a friend's Facebook Wall last night and it reminded me of a story. She said her son will be keeping his class' lizard over the holidays. Here's my story.

When I was a young teenager, probably about 13 or 14, my parents took me to visit my Aunt (my father's oldest sister and one of my absolute most favorite people in the world, who is now deceased) who was living in Oklahoma City at the time. She had two sons - Larry, who is the same age as my only brother, and Randy, who's a couple years older than me. My siblings and I were always very close to these two cousins but we hadn't seen each other in years.

When we arrived, my Aunt told me that Randy would be giving up his bedroom for me. It was very big with a huge bed. My older cousin, Larry, had graduated from high school and was working strange hours, so he needed to keep his own room. Randy told me he was sleeping on the couch but would be hanging out in his room, if that was okay with me. I was thrilled with the thought of being able to hang out with one of my fav cousins in his room.

Randy worked at an Exotic Pet Store. He had several aquariums, one with fish that are now illegal to sell in the U.S., and a terrarium that was home to a VERY large, very spoiled iguana. While the iguana gave me the eebie-geebies (chills went up and down my spine everytime I got close enough to the terrarium to see him), I didn't want to let on to Randy. I participated in the conversation about how "cool" this horny, ugly creature was, nodding and smiling, doing my best to convince Randy that I, too, was "cool".

During the night, I rolled over in that huge bed and felt something underneath my chest. I threw back the covers and, yes, you guessed it, a VERY large iguana was snuggled close to me. I shrieked, jumped out of bed, and threw back the covers. Randy came on the run, assessed the situation (which included me hanging from the ceiling fan whimpering and biting my nails and the iguana, who had crawled up onto my pillow, standing still and erect), and yelled,

"Be quiet, Patti. You're scaring him!"

"Scaring HIM?!?!?!" I shrieked at him. Suddenly, he no longer was my favorite cousin. "What about me?"

"Did I forget to tell you that I leave the terrarium lid cracked at night 'cause he gets cold and likes to climb out and get in bed with me? He's a great snuggler!"

Randy was promptly moved back into his room with the "great snuggler" and I moved to the much safer living room couch. I'll never forget the fear of feeling those spiny, poky things in my chest and realizing what it was. "He gets cold at night?" He'd be much colder if he snuggled me one more time.