I've been having cramps lately. First, my thumb froze in place, pressed against my palm, not one, but three different times the same evening. I chalked it up to having a cast on the other hand and overusing my right hand. Several days later, my big toe froze poking straight up into the air. Weird! I could feel the muscle stretched across my arch knotting and spasming (Spellcheck doesn't think this is a word, but I KNOW better). Then, around 3 a.m. Wednesday morning, I woke violently to a charliehorse in my left calf. I could feel the muscle knotting, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I began yelling to Don and reaching for him, aimlessly thrashing my right arm his direction. For some reason, I have this VERY mistaken notion that he will massage my legs when I get cramps and help work them out.
I finally jumped up and began stomping my left foot on the ground, hoping to jolt the muscle back into compliance. It relaxed and I finally, gingerly, climbed back into bed.
"What was THAT all about?" Don asked.
"What do you mean? I had a cramp in my leg!"
"Well, why did you wake ME up?"
"I was hoping (emphasis) that you would get up and massage my leg. I needed HELP, honey!"
"Is THAT why you beat me mercilessly in the head?"
Long pause.
"I was concentrating on my leg. I didn't realize that was your head."
That evening, Don and I were to attend an appreciation function for the church volunteers. I wasn't sure if he would be able to make it or not. He called from work and, before I hung up, I asked,
"Not to put any pressure on you, honey, but do you think you'll be coming to the Party?"
"My plan is to leave work in enough time to get there. However . . . you beat me in the head last night!"
I wonder if anyone's ever written a book on the "true" cost of marriage?
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