Grad School

My 28-yr. old niece, the one who went on vacation with me EVERY summer when I was single, then joined my family after I was married, who used to spend the weekend with me when she was little and we'd go to late-night movies and stay up late, eat popcorn and go out to dinner, the niece who now so graciously gives of her time to babysit for Don and I from time to time so we can have a date, like on our Anniversary last year when we spent the night at a hotel and she stayed with the children overnight, my Goddaughter, my precious, sweet girl who was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen (until, of course, Deanna was born) - that niece - is leaving this Saturday to move away.

When she applied for Grad School after college, she was advised that she needed a few year's experience in her field before she tackled it. She's had that and now realizes that she's not going to get anywhere in her career without a a Master's behind her name. So, she's leaving home for the first time ever.

She's only moving 2 hours away, but still . . . no longer hearing her voice when I call her Mom, knowing that she's no longer across town. And, the financial situation of a Grad Student. She's been offered a job by the University that will cover her tuition and pay her apartment rent, but little else. She'll be teaching 5 classes, count them, five - at 9, 10, 11, 1 and 2. The classes she's taking are from 6 to 9:15 at night.

She came for dinner tonight since we'll be in West Virginia and can't help move her this weekend. It was our farewell dinner. After we ate, we sat in the Den to visit and I asked all the pertinent questions. Turns out, they're working her like a dog for a mere pittance. In addition to teaching five classes, which includes lectures AND labs, she also has to put EVERYTHING on computer, grade tests, prepare lesson plans - all this while getting to know a roommate, learning the town, shopping and cooking for herself, trying to meet people and establish herself in a church, not to mention attending class herself, studying, writing papers, taking tests, etc. She has to go to school for two summers, too. And then, to have the financial situation hanging over your head . . . it was just too much for me. I broke down and cried.

Big mistake. It just upset her more. She kept saying, "It'll all work out. It'll get done somehow. It'll be okay." I wasn't sure if she was trying to convince me or her. But we both had a good cry.

I just have to keep remembering that this precious person is a woman of faith. While I see her as a frail innocent she really is a woman who trusts her Lord with everything. When she says, "It'll work out", what she means is, "The Lord will take care of it for me, somehow." She has faith to move mountains and feels that the Lord prompted her to pursue Grad School and has opened all the right doors for her.

That may all be true, but I'm still an Aunt, and what I see is my darling baby girl preparing to march out into the world. How am I ever going to handle sending my own children away to college when I panic over my niece?

We went to the kitchen and cleaned out my pantry, sending boxes of food with her. Don came in to put some of the overflow into bags for her and pulled out a box of 24 granola bars he just bought at the store over the weekend.

"I can't believe your giving these to her! I just bought them," he fussed at me.

"There's more at the store," I responded. "We can get more. SHE can't. This is our one chance to send some food." At least for the first month, perhaps she won't have to spend too much money on food. The expense of moving can be daunting - utilities, gas, all the little things Mom has always provided like laundry detergent, a mirror, etc., not to mention having to buy everything you need to set up housekeeping.

I had the children tell her goodbye inside before Don and I walked her to her car. As the boys were hugging her, she said, "I'll see you in three weeks at the beach!"

We looked at each other and cracked up through our tears. This horribly sad, gut-wrenching goodbye, and the truth is, she's coming for a day or two to join us at the beach for vacation - as usual - in three weeks.

The laughter helped to break up the pain a little, but seeing her for one day while knowing she lives away isn't quite the same thing as when she usually joins us. It's bittersweet, at the very least.

But God has a plan. I just have to trust that and Him. My precious niece isn't disappearing from my life - I'll just have to work a little harder and plan a little better to see her.

Who knows - if my emotion motivates me, maybe I'll see her more over the next two years than I did when she was in town.

I hope so. I think she could use that. I KNOW I could.