We had a very exciting thing happen last week. But the story starts back in October of last year.

We went camping for Deanna's birthday (some of you may remember) and on Sunday, as we were just finishing packing up, I noticed a bright, fluorescent green thing on the steps. When I examined it closer, it was a caterpillar but quite unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It had spikes on its back and hairs coming out of the spikes. Don said that meant it was poisonous. It was so beautiful and so unusual that we brought it home in Dane's fishing worm container. We put it in a jar with some of Grandma's fennel, made some holes in the lid, and showed him off to the entire neighborhood. The kids couldn't wait to take him for Show and Tell.

The next morning, however, our caterpillar was gone and, in his place was a cocoon. We were thrilled. I had never had a caterpillar in captivity that had spun a cocoon. I know lots of other people who have experienced this, but I never had.

We did a bunch of research and thought we had a Luna Moth, whose gestation is one week. We patiently waited for our little friend to burrow out of his furball and open his wing. One week led into two and, eventually, into a month. We took him off the fennel and put him in an empty plastic bucket in the kitchen.

As the months rolled on, people would comment that he was dead. But I kept the faith. I'd pick up the cocoon and talk to him and, occasionally, when I jiggled it, he'd jiggle back. Once, he almost rolled the cocoon off the kitchen table.

And there it sat, next to the toaster oven in the plastic container in the kitchen.

Last weekend, while eating lunch after church on Sunday, I noticed Daelyn pointing at the mudroom doorjam with a huge grin on his face. Don followed his pointed finger, then got up from the table and walked behind me. Finally, I turned too and discovered a moth. The whole family jumped up and looked him over.

"I wonder how the kids managed to get HIM in the house," Don said.

That made me pause for a moment to think about it. It was really big. I couldn't imagine it flying past the children while they held the door open. Then Don walked over to the cocoon and picked it up. I shrieked, finally putting two and two together. I rushed to the bucket and looked. The cocoon looked exactly the same. Don put it back down. I picked it up, held it, and began to look it over carefully. At the end, there was the tiniest little hole . . .

Our moth HAD hatched. And he wasn't a Luna, thus the length of time. Don looked him up based on his coloring and he's a type of silkmoth.

We watched him all day as his wings got bigger and dried out. When he began to get fidgety, we opened the door and shooed him out, then Deanna and I watched as he flew away. I couldn't have been prouder if I had birthed him myself. Our little moth had flown the coop.

It was quite an experience for all of us and something the children won't soon forget. Below (at least I hope it's below - I have trouble with this placement template) are some pictures of our little guy before he flew away.

Maybe someday we'll run into one of his babies and smile at the memory.

Swooshing

I took Deanna skiing over the weekend. Two years ago, I promised to take her, but she broke her foot 5 days before the trip and her Orthopedic doctor told us we had to cancel. Last year, we were in England for ski season, so I finally kept my commitment to her and took her. School was cancelled for Friday so we left around noon and headed to the North Carolina mountains.

We drove straight to Sugar Mountain Ski Resort, parked, and walked up to the Lodge. We talked with the employees about ski rentals, then went over to the Ski School building and talked with them. We discovered that it was cheaper to get our skis at a Pro Shop in town, which we did later in the evening, then picked up lift tickets from the only independent dealer in town that sells them. Then we headed back to Boone to check into our hotel and get some sleep.

Nicki went with us and she decided to attend Ski School with Deanna. Although Deanna got off to a rocky start, she ultimately had a wonderful time and learned the basics, now proclaiming herself "a skier". She wants to go back again next year.

I was a little surprised with myself. Though I've had a number of opportunities to ski in my life, it's been many years (12, to be exact) since my last time. I didn't think I'd remember and expected to be a little shaky and uncertain. From the moment I stepped into my bindings, everything flooded back and I was swooshing down the slope, from side to side, in seconds. It amazed me that it all returned and felt so natural, it was like I had never taken off my skis.

We got home around midnight Saturday and, by then, Deanna was pretty sick. She began getting cold symptoms Friday night and, after a full day of skiing, was feeling pretty rough. I kept her home from school today to rest and work on getting better. She'll return to school tomorrow, though.

Amanda's struggling with numerous problems. While small in comparison to what she's already walked through, they're dangerous and very scary, all the same. The biggest concern right now, in addition to several spots of infection, is that they did a calorie count on her for several days and the doctor told my sister that she's barely eating enough to keep her alive. My sister's very concerned that she's going to fall backwards, but Amanda is eating as much as she's able. As of tonight, they're going to start feeding her via her feeding tube through the night to try and up her intake of calories.

I'll write more tomorrow, but right now, I'm having trouble dealing with everything myself and need to rest and think over these new issues. Please continue to pray. Trina's so exhausted she was stumbling around Amanda's room tonight. She needs some GOOD sleep and a little bit of a break from worrying.

I'm heading to bed now - and to hug my husband. We both need it.

Day to Day

Today is my sister's 50th birthday. Amanda wanted to celebrate with her, too, so we took lunch up to the hospital instead of taking her out. Grandma and I swung by Olive Garden and got salad, bread sticks, and seafood fettucini alfredo to share. It was the best I've seen my sister eat since the accident. Several other people had sent birthday cards to her, as well, and she seemed perkier than I've seen her in quite a while. Apparently, they got a good night's sleep.

A doctor came to see Amanda this morning and said he wants to do another cat scan to get a reading on where they're at right now. They've already sent Amanda's films to an pelvic expert in Jacksonville, Florida for a second opinion and we're waiting to hear something on that.

Several of Amanda's exterior wounds have become infected. It seems they didn't irrigate and clean her wounds in Columbia like they had here and some sites began getting red. She showed me her sutures yesterday and the ones around her middle looked kind of rough. Also, around the feeding tube that's inserted in her side the tissue was very red. We are wondering why they've left the feeding tube in. She's eating regular food now and they haven't needed the feeding tube in over a week. Her Wound Vacs have also been removed, rendering routine surgeries unnecessary - YAY! Perhaps the lack of routine surgeries is the reason she still sports the feeding tube. Perhaps it has to be surgically removed and they don't want to take her back into surgery just for that. But that's only speculation.

She had some stitches removed yesterday and the doctor pointed out the infected areas to her. Earlier this week, the trauma doc told my sister that, at present, the only life-threatening issues are the possibility of infection and pneumonia. Now that she has a few infected sites, we really need to pray that the infection doesn't spread.

Amanda seems to be in much better spirits. She's scared that she may have to have the pelvic surgery after all, but is willing to consider whatever's necessary for her complete and total healing. We had a very good discussion today - her mother, Grandma, me, Amanda, and my sister's best friend, about the situation in Columbia and the pelvic surgeon's reasons for not operating. It was quite an open, honest discussion and the best we've had since the accident. In the end, however, it was nothing more than supposition, because there's just too much we don't yet know.

Waiting seems to be the name of the game right now - waiting for input from other pelvic surgeons, waiting to see how her body heals itself, waiting for the trauma docs to consider all the evidence and decide how to move forward. They've very candidly told Amanda that the most typical mistake that people make at this point is to move too fast and they have NO intention of doing that with her. They will consider all the information, from every angle, several times before they make any decisions, and they want Amanda to understand that this process will be very slow and very long.

At least she's back in Augusta with a team of doctors who seem to really care about her and where she feels safe.

Happy Birthday, Sis - I get to rub your age in for another 3 years - until I hit 50!

Humor

Nicki kept Daelyn for me yesterday after school so I could go to the hospital. When I got home, in time for her to leave for work, she told me that she had done Daelyn's homework with him. His class is learning the letter "L l". There must have been a picture of a lion on one of his sheets because they launched into a discussion about lions. Nicki relayed the following conversation to me.

Nicki: "Have you ever seen a real lion?"

Daelyn: "I don't know."

Nicki: "When did you last go to the Zoo?" knowing that the zoo in Columbia, just a little over an hour away, has a lion.

Daelyn: "Three years ago." This is probably pretty close to true. We've been home from England for a whole year already, were there 3 months, and hadn't been to the zoo for quite sometime before we left for England. Three years was a great estimate.

Daelyn: "That would make it about . . . hmh . . . 1979."

Nicki: "Daelyn, you weren't born yet in 1979. I wasn't even born yet. Your mother was probably in high school then."

Daelyn: "Oh. Well, then, it must have been 1981."

His seriousness coupled with the awesome estimate from seconds earlier struck Nicki very funny. Even repeating the story to me, she got tears in her eyes and cracked up laughing several times. It was one of those moments when the stars all align and something seems terribly funny but, when explained, never quite seems the same. Like the time we were in the Outer Banks and we saw the employees of the store in goofy hats and Deanna and I laughed so hard we almost had an accident.

Tomorrow, I'll write an update on Amanda, but, for today, I needed a break. And I'm quite sure you did, as well.

Step Down

Amanda got ousted from Shock/Trauma yesterday. Apparently, two new traumas came in and they needed her bed, but they wanted to put her on the Surgical Ward which is serviced by the Trauma docs so there'd be continuity of care, and there were no beds available there, either.

They moved her to a "holding" ward on the 8th floor while waiting for a room. They decided they needed to do a sonogram on her legs to check for blood clots, so she was moved around like a chess piece. Finally, around 4:30, they moved her to a room on the 4th floor. She was tired, in pain, and cranky after a long, tough day and two tough nights. Saturday night, she started having chest pain and shortness of breath. They charged in with a portable EKG machine, stuck electrodes to her, and determined that her body had reacted to her medicines. Sunday night, her foot went completely numb and her leg felt like it was on fire. My sister feared a blood clot and they were up for hours during the night before they discovered it was something very minor.

After two nights with little to no sleep and a rough day of moving, she finally arrived on the 4th floor. She was anxious to have the nurses finish her transfer and work-up so she could get some pain medicine and rest. But her nurse came in and tried to straighten her legs. Because of her pelvic injuries, her legs are rolled outward and cannot be straightened. My sister calls them "froglegs". When Amanda tried to explain to the nurse that her legs couldn't be moved, the nurse quizzed her about her injuries. Amanda began explaining and the nurse asked if she could see them. Amanda pulled down the covers and showed her. The nurse was shocked and made some exclamation, then told Amanda that they hadn't prepared her for this case. Encouraging news from the person who's supposed to be taking care of you. The nurse flew out of her room and returned a few minutes later with the Charge Nurse. My mom and I stood and watched while the Charge Nurse and Amanda's caregiver reviewed her injuries one by one. It seems they don't usually have patients on this ward quite as sick as Amanda.

Later in the evening, the nurse told my sister that the doctor was on the floor and asked if they'd like to see him. My sister hadn't talked with a doctor all day and was very eager to speak with one. He came in the room, greeted them amiably, then asked Amanda if she had someone to help her when she went home! Amanda hit the roof. He had no understanding of her injuries, either, and was approaching the case as if she would be leaving in a day or two.

Despite these bumps in the road, they had a good night. My sister told me this morning that Amanda received very good care during the night and the nurses were very careful turning her, letting Amanda direct the process.

Today is Day 25 and this is all getting a little old. My sister says she could sleep for 5 straight days and is quite tired of always being in clothes. She said she'd love to be able to slip into a pair of pajamas. I encouraged her to try it, now that Amanda's in a room. She also had a little Chinese food last night instead of the McDonald's burger she nibbles on every few nights. She said it wasn't very good, but anything different was better than McDonald's.

Amanda arrived back at MCG on Friday night and the attending physicians weren't all there over the weekend, so we were waiting for Monday morning when they'd have a chance to talk and come up with a strategy for Amanda. They may have been unable to do that with the traumas that came in yesterday. We're still waiting to be told where we go from here. In any case, we know we still have a long ways to go.

Please pray for our endurance. Now that Amanda is fully conscious and seems to have moved away from death's door, we feel like we can relax a little, but these little issues keep throwing us into tailspins. The reality is, she is still a very sick young woman with HUGE hurdles to overcome and many more surgeries to be completed in the future. Her healing process has only just begun and her body is still split open from the sternum down. Her muscles are unable to be reattached at this point and she has no shelf separating her pelvic region from her abdominal region. One will have to be build for her inside her body, hopefully with her own tissue. She will also need at least one skin graft down the road and the situation with the pelvis is still a huge question mark. There is still a risk of infection, as she still has open wounds, and WILL for a long time to come. From where she lies, trying to get comfortable, this is just the beginning. And our stamina wanes.

Please continue to pray for clear answers, for relief from pain, for rest for my sister and Amanda, for freedom from infection, and for complete and total healing. The prayer that I feel the Lord has laid on my heart is referenced in Psalm: "Lord, you knitted her together in her mother's womb. You made her perfect and complete. Do that work again. Knit her together again, Lord, as perfectly as the first time, in that hospital bed."

Amen.

The Sick D's

Daelyn climbed in bed with Don and me at 2:30 a.m. Friday. He was coughing horribly and I was quite convinced he was VERY sick. Since I was scheduled to teach Dane's class for the day, I asked Don to get him an appointment with the Pediatrician.

After dressing for school, I went into the kitchen to finish lunches and check on the children's progress. Don met me.

"Daelyn says he feels better and wants to go to school."

"Are you crazy? He's sick. He most certainly is NOT going to school. You need to take him to Dr. Miller. I think he has pneumonia."

"He doesn't have pneumonia. And he says he feels better. He's hardly coughed at all the last 1/2 hour. Don't you think he should go to school?"

I emphatically reiterated my previous answer. Then added, "If he doesn't have pneumonia, he at least has a bad case of bronchitis. TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR."

Sure enough. Pneumonia in one lung and wheezing in the other. Antibiotics and breathing treatments. On Saturday morning, I began to get really stuffy and my throat started to hurt. Don's been sick for several days and Deanna's been complaining of a sore throat. I was the last hold-out, probably because I've been at the hospital and home with the children so little.

So, I've been banned from the hospital - at least until I'm better. I'm not allowed to see Amanda and Don insists that I not even go in the waiting room for fear I'll infect Trina. Then we'll really be in bad shape.

I'm trying to stay in touch over the phone, but it's very difficult and I feel like a duck out of water not knowing what's going on. I'm trying to get caught up on my chores while I'm home so I can jump back into the hospital as soon as I feel better.

And taking care of sick Daelyn, sick Deanna, sick Dane, and sick Don.

Return

Amanda was transferred back to MCG this evening and we've once again taken up residence in the Trauma ICU Waiting Room.

To make a long story short, after three days of waiting for the doctors to take her into surgery, after not having seen an orthopedic surgeon, after being treated like a Plaque Victim, after crying until her eyes ached, after the nurses paged the doctor ALL DAY long to get some answers for my sister, she and my brother-in-law finally pinned the doctor down to a conference call. He told them that Amanda's bones have already begun to harden and that the risk of the surgery outweighed the benefit and he was not going to fix her pelvis. They requested a transfer back to MCG and will get a second opinion here.

Evidently, they had another long conversation with the doctor this morning and I've yet to hear the whole story, but Amanda was put back in an ambulance at 5 p.m. and is now resting comfortably, with her mother sleeping at her side in a chair that the nurse brought in for her and disinfected himself. When I parted with my sister in the waiting room, the doctor was in with Amanda and wanted to talk with her mother about her meds and the transfer, so my sister left me in the care of some of our fellow waiting room occupants and said goodnight.

I still have a lot of unanswered questions but my sister has promised to answer them all tomorrow. For tonight, she wants to sleep, as does the rest of the family.

Alex was at Amanda's bedside in Columbia yesterday (for Valentine's Day) and spent the night at a hotel with her parents and the day with her, following the ambulance back to Augusta. He and Amanda smiled at each other and he went in search of a doctor to get her pain medication. They seem to be much closer, having weathered this ordeal.

My sister commented in the waiting room before heading back for the night to the unit, "I never thought I'd be so happy to see a group of people again, but I've missed you all," referring to the other waiting room occupants.

We all are happy to have her home again. And we'll deal with tomorrow on the morrow.

Worse

Things in Columbia are even worse than I realized.

1. You are not allowed to have blankets in the waiting room.

2. If you fall asleep in the waiting room, you are forced to leave. "Waiting rooms are for waiting, not sleeping."

3. The waiting room only has hard, plastic chairs.

4. My sister is only allowed to visit Amanda 3 times a day for 1/2 an hour each visit.

5. She has not yet talked with the pelvic surgeon. She has only spoken to one doctor, who showed up while it was still dark. He said he knew nothing about Amanda's case, had not reviewed her file yet, but wanted to introduce himself. My sister has not yet seen or spoken with the pelvic specialist who is the whole reason Amanda was transferred to this terrible place.

6. Amanda had surgery yesterday and begged them to not put her completely under. After being in a coma for 14 days, she's frightened of being put to sleep. She told them that at MCG they had used her IV and put her in a twilight sleep. They ignored her and put her under, anyway.

7. Amanda cries all the time. She frightened beyond belief and my sister is only allowed such brief visits that she's unable to calm Amanda.

8. She is facing the most serious surgery of her life and still has not yet met the doctor or been reassured. She doesn't know when they plan on operating and, frankly, is in no emotional condition to undergo such a serious surgery.

9. My sister has been unable to sleep, due to Hospital Rules, and I can't believe she'll be able to hold up much longer.

I cannot stress how upsetting this all is. It isn't possible to pray enough for God's intervention. If you know anyone, ANYONE, that doesn't know about my niece and the challenges facing her right now, please contact them and ask them to pray.

Please, Lord, please.

News from Columbia

Things are starting to get scary again. Amanda had surgery today to prepare for the big, upcoming pelvic surgery. They took the pins out of her hips that were holding her pelvis together and closed up some of her chest cavity, but were unable to close the chest and stomach muscles as they had atrophied and would no longer pull together. They will put that issue on hold to deal with later.

They wanted to go in, look over the situation, and make sure there was no infection, which is still a HUGE concern. She looked good and they're ready to begin the long pelvic reconstruction process either Thursday or Friday.

Amanda's having a VERY hard time. She spent most of the night and today crying and her state of mind will have a direct impact on her ability to heal. She's scared and this new environment isn't doing anything to reassure her.

My father and I are driving up tomorrow. Perhaps we can relieve a little of the pressure off my sister and my mother. At the very least, they'll have a new, friendly face to look at.

The situation is very grave. My niece and her family need a great deal of prayer as they prepare for the hardest thing they've ever had to endure.

Lord, pour out your grace and please, please, send your peace. Wash over my niece with the assurance that only can come from you. Hold her in your arms and let her feel your presence, even your breath, upon her body as you continue the healing process. And let her mind rest from worry and care and focus only on you. Lord, bless her and heal her and let her know that it is YOU who saved and are still about saving her.

Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Move

I didn't go to the hospital all day yesterday. My children were out of school and needed a little Mommy-time, as did the laundry and the house.

Once I got them off to school this morning, I headed up. My sister greeted me warmly, then sent me into the room to spell my other sister who was sitting with our niece, but had been there all night and needed to go home and rest.

Amanda and I watched the end of a movie together, then the trauma doctor walked in. Below is pretty close to verbatim what she said.

"I went downstairs and talked to the Chief of Orthopedics about your case. He said that although they have this new pelvic guy on staff, he started as of Feb. 1, he doesn't yet have his Georgia credentials and, until he gets them, there's nothing he can do on your case. It may be a week or two more before he gets a permit to operate in Georgia. So, I've decided to move you to a hospital where they can begin working on your pelvis. I have to transfer you to another Trauma doctor and the hospital where I send you must have an available bed in the Trauma Unit, so I'll be looking at Savannah, Atlanta, maybe Charlotte . . . "

I jumped up, stopped her, and ran to get Amanda's mother. Then I stood and listened while the doctor explained that they just couldn't wait any longer. I got the impression that, if Orthopedics expected the credentials imminently, they might wait, but another week or two was just too long. Early on, they had told us that the bones would begin to harden in about 3 weeks and the pelvic work needed to be begun by that time. Today was day 18.

She said that she wanted to send Amanda by ambulance, not helicopter, and that her mother could most likely ride with her. My sister suggested Columbia and explained that the pelvic specialist who used to be at MCG is now there. The doctor thought it was a very good suggestion. She said she hoped to move Amanda tomorrow.

I took off for the waiting room and Mom and I started calling family - first Amanda's, then the extended family. I had to leave by 12:30 to go pick up Dane from school for a doctor's appointment on the same floor of the same hospital as Amanda, just around the corner.

Dane's appointment finished about 2:45 and we headed for the ICU Waiting Room to say hi. We were greeted by my mother who told me they were moving Amanda between 3:00 and 3:30 to Richland Memorial Hospital in Columbia, SC. I was shocked! But, it seems they had an available room in ICU and the timing had all fallen into place.

Amanda was pretty shook up, as were my sister and Amanda's father. This all happened very fast. And moving meant the family would not be there for support. But, all along, we've prayed for the Lord to open the doors for the best possible care for Amanda, and we trust this is it.

Amanda arrived safely and was getting settled in the new ICU unit. I called my sister around 8 p.m. to check on things. Again, I was shocked. She said that there were at least 50 people in the waiting room (it was amazingly loud), that lots of people were sitting cross-legged on the floor, the room was full of hard, plastic chairs, and there were NO sleeping accomodations. Apparently, people do not sleep there. She went on to tell me that you can only visit from 1 to 1:30, 5 to 5:30 and 8:30 to 9. She said that the unit had four beds per room and they didn't put same sex patients in the same room. She said there was one room where a man was propped up, drooling, while across from him was a woman not fully covered. Amanda was very frightened and started to cry.

My sister sounded pretty shaken, also. But the nurse talked with them and said she would arrange for a private room for my niece and that her mother could stay in there with her tonight. Grandma and Amanda's father are driving home tonight and will drive back to Columbia tomorrow. A medical student is reviewing Amanda's file overnight and plans to brief the necessary doctors either late tonight or in the morning and they will schedule surgery very soon. We'll know more in the morning.

We're all a little shaken by this sudden turn of events. While it's very good news that we got a great pelvic surgery specialist to take on her case and they'll begin moving on the reconstructive work this week, it's all a little upsetting. None of us will be able to stay with her or frequent the hospital like we have here. And whether or not my sister will be able to stay with her regularly is dependant on the nurse she has each shift.

We need to pray for peace in this situation. State of mind is such an important issue at this juncture, and none of us have it right now. Pray for a bubble of peace and grace to surround Amanda and her family to carry them through this next traumatic season. And pray that she can return to MCG to recover soon after surgery.

Pray, also, for Amanda's levels of pain and for a medication that can effectively treat it. And pray for each of us left here in Augusta, that we can support from afar and be what's needed in this next step of recovery.

Amanda's made so much progress forward, we don't want any steps backward.

A Long Week

It's been so very long since I've written, but it's been a busy week and I've spent my free time tending to laundry and my children.

Amanda is doing very well. She has completely regained her alertness (after asking her brother to pass her the phone, pointing at thin air, then when he handed her a handful of air, telling him to give her a minute - she needed to make a phone call; and several other similar incidents that our family will talk about for years to come). She is in a great deal of pain and doesn't seem to have a lot of success with any of the pain meds they're giving her, though.

She had surgery again on Thursday and will go back down tomorrow. She was a little worried about her surgery, afraid they might put her back on the ventilator. But they chose, instead, to give her anesthesia through her I.V. She did very well and they plan on doing more of the same for her future surgeries.

The doctor that saved her life and did her initial 7 1/2 hour surgery right after the accident, then rotated off her case, did the surgery. She hadn't seen Amanda since the first night. We were very anxious to see what she thought about the progress. To quote her, "She is healing up twice as fast as someone twice her age." She continued with a statement about how amazingly young people heal. We now know, also, that her digestive tract is functioning correctly and there's no intestinal blockage or problems associated with her previous surgeries. She's starting to eat a little - I got to feed her mashed potatoes with gravy today. The trauma doc has decided to pull all her antibiotics except one. She said that she expects a low-grade fever because of the trauma to Amanda's body and she won't worry about infection unless it spikes.

She also said that she's trying to get in touch with the pelvic surgical specialist and see if he's willing to sign onto her case. We have since heard that he's willing but doesn't yet have credentials to operate in this state. They're awaiting a temporary license.

The issues at present: Amanda is remembering the accident and it's quite a lot to process. There are many more details that she's remembering of which we were totally unaware. It's enough to deal with waking up and finding out that you've been in a coma for 12 days, your family hovering over your bedside, not knowing if you're going to live or die, then to have to remember the details of a terrible, terrible accident . . . Please pray for her to be able to be at peace and deal with only what she has to deal with right now.

It has now been 16 days and we're all very tired. We're getting a little fuzzy-headed. My sister had a migraine today and I'm having stomach problems. Each of our bodies are handling the stress in a little different way. Amanda's support system (her aunts, grandparents, father, mother, brother . . .) needs rest and a little better organization to ensure our family's needs are being met, our own needs are being met and Amanda and her family's needs are being met.

Amanda can't begin the pelvic reconstruction if there's any infection in her body. The infection will bond to the titanium and they'll have to pull all the metal out and start all over again. Please pray she stays infection-free.

Pray for a relief from pain for her and an ability for her to sleep. Sleep continues to elude her but she needs to be rested to deal with the stress and the pain.

And pray for the upcoming pelvic reconstruction. This is a very difficult and technical process that several other doctors have refused to take on. The trauma doctor says that there is a very high risk of hemorrhage or blood clots during these surgeries, so we need to pray.

In closing, I spent about 4 hours with Amanda this afternoon. Her back was hurting and she asked me to get the nurse and have her rolled up on her side for a little while.

"It's just, I've just been laying here all day," she said. When she saw me grin, she stopped to think about that comment. Her face broke into a wide smile.

"You've been doing a lot of that lately," I added.

Day 11 and Counting

What a day we've had! They removed Amanda's neck brace and the ventilator. The doctors told Trina yesterday that it was a possibility they would remove the vent and NOT do a tracheotomy, but my brother-in-law asked that we not pass along that information in case it never materialized. BUT IT DID!

Amanda's throat was very sore and her voice was so soft you could barely hear her. We thought it would be several days before she'd be able to talk loud enough but, by this evening, she was chatting. They changed her pain medication again and she was quite loopy and had some very funny things to say, including telling her mother that she needed some clothes so she could go sit in the waiting room with us and watch t.v.

I got to go in and see her. I kidded her about setting the nurses straight tomorrow after a good night's rest and she smiled. She was getting very tired after talking so much.

It's amazing how something so small as the removal of ONE tube could have such a huge impact on all of us. Her medical condition really hadn't changed, but just being able to talk to her after 11 days of standing by her bedside not knowing if she'd live or die was an unbelievably good thing.

Now, the challenges. Her white cell count is elevated, which probably indicates infection. They believe it's due to her central line and are moving the line to the other side of her body. They've taken blood samples for cultures to find out if it's just an infection in the port or if it's in her bloodstream. Pray that it's only in the port.

They also decided today to do a cat scan. She has a concern in one of her legs that they're trying to better understand. Pray that it's nothing, please.

She's still a very sick young woman with some potentially serious problems looming over her but, for tonight at least, we are all very happy. As I was getting ready to leave the hospital tonight, her boyfriend, his best friend and my niece's best friend decided to walk out to the parking garage with me. As we waited for the elevator, her boyfriend softly said what was on all of our thought: "At least I'll be able to sleep tonight!"

Slow Process

It's been a busy two days with Amanda. Although there's not too much change in her condition, she is awake much more often and seems to be getting very agitated. She keeps trying to talk and is asking a lot of questions. It's very difficult to figure out what she's saying and, because some of her meds can cause some amnesia, we're not sure if she remembers what she was told the previous times she's woken up.

She has cried several times, sometimes from frustration and sometimes, we think, just because of emotion. It's very difficult to stand by her bedside and watch her being so frustrated. She has actually managed several times to pull her torso up off the bed. She is trying to look behind her, we think so see the monitors. She's so smart and has so much medical training that I believe she thinks that, if she can just see what's hooked up to her, she can figure out what's wrong with her.

We are trying very hard to explain that she's been in an accident and is in the hospital but that she's doing very well and will be much better soon - NO specifics. We smile and try to think of happy things or funny stories to tell her to refocus her attention. My sister is absolutely great at this. But it's very hard on all of us and we're all stressed out.

They took her back into surgery today to look everything over and to change out the sponges that are connnected to her Wound Vac. The outcome was very good. She seems to be healing up well. Now, we just wait. There are many little things along the road to her recovery, but, mostly, we just need to give her body time to heal itself.

The new pelvic trauma specialist has arrived and has looked over Amanda's records. Since they will be repairing her pelvis with titanium, all her abdominal injuries must be completely healed. Apparently, metal will attract infection so, if there is any infection inside her body, it will bond to the metal which will then all have to be removed and the process begun all over again. It's well worth the wait to make sure she's healed before they move onto the next step.

My sister's amazing. She's handling this better than any of the rest of us could ever dream of handling a similar situation. But she needs rest, which is dependant not only on Amanda's condition but, also, no new patients coming into the Trauma Unit during the night. If new patients arrive or one of the other families living in the waiting room have a traumatic night, it's impossible to settle down and sleep in the waiting room.

Visits from friends seem to have died down. Although a few people trickle up during the day, it's nothing like it was at first. For hours at a time, it might only be two or all three of us sisters, with or without my mother thrown in and, possibly, with my brother-in-law. We've said everything to each other there is to say and without the distraction of other people to keep us occupied, it can get pretty tense.

I'm certainly not asking for visitors. But the effect of visitors is to keep us focused for a little while on something other than "the situation" and it seems to me, at least, to get a little tenser when it's just our family. The upside to fewer visitors is that my sister sometimes can rest during the day to make up for the lack of rest at night.

They tried to feed her through the feeding tube on Saturday and were not successful. Today, after her surgery, they explained that her intestines hadn't really "woken up" yet and it was nothing to worry about. They'll wait a little while, then try again.

Thank you, each of you, who are reading these posts and praying for our sweet girl. We know that prayer is what has gotten us through so far and are relying on prayer to get us to the end. Please ask everyone you know to pray.

One of my nieces has set up a CarePage under the MCG system for her cousin. If you go to MCG Care Pages, search for Meme Barnes and you can get updates from someone else's perspective. She tends to be less verbose and more clinical. I think it might be necessary for you to register before you can access her Care Page, but I think that's only because this is a new thing the hospital is doing and they want to keep some demographic info to assess the effectiveness of this tool. Again, thank you for your prayers and keep it up - PLEASE!

She'll go back into surgery again Thursday or Friday. Other than that, we just sit quietly and wait inbetween visits to her bedside and trying to keep her from getting upset.

Not an entirely bad place to be, especially not after the last week. She's improving, even if it is baby steps. We'll take any steps forward we can get.

Laughter - Good Medicine

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Driving home from the hospital one night this week, the Lord clearly spoke these words to me. I knew they were scriptural, but I had no idea where. When I got home, I Googled the words and found the reference. The next day, I shared it with my sister at the hospital and we had an awesome prayer time together, claiming this scripture for Amanda.

The day after that, she sat down with her Bible, opened it up, and began to share with Amanda's boyfriend this very scripture. Then she told how the Lord had given her this word almost a year ago when Amanda had been hit head-on by a truck and had to be removed from the car with the jaws of life. Since then, she's been standing on this scripture for her family. Then she told him how the Lord had spoken the same word to me. I had no knowledge that she and her prayer partner had claimed this word. While we talked, my mother looked up from her book and said, "Isn't that amazing? The Lord gave me that same word today. It was in my devotional guide for this morning."

Could the Lord have spoken any clearer? Then the nurses in the ICU unit told my sister that they are all drawn to my niece. They told her that they're all Christians and have a clear sense that Amanda is going to be there for the long haul, because she's not going to die. God has a clear plan for her future.

I spent the night with my sister at the hospital last night. Very little has changed with Amanda's condition. They are beginning to turn the ventilator down because she's doing so much breathing on her own, and they want to encourage that because it exercises her lungs and makes her body work for itself. She communicated through mouthing the words yesterday that she wanted her mama. The Resident ran to the waiting room and got my sister. "Amanda's asking for you! Come on!"

She also got very agitated yesterday about something and kept trying to tell her father what was on her mind. He couldn't get it. He asked her a limited number of questions to which she shook her head. He got her mother. She couldn't figure it out, either. She told me later,

"All those Lemaze classes and child-rearing courses we've taken, and not a one of them in how to lip-read over a ventilator!"

They finally called the doctor. She asked Amanda if she thought she could write her question. She nodded. They removed the restraints on one arm, gave her a pen and paper, but she wasn't able to form the letters. It was very frustrating to my brother-in-law. She lies there, hour after hour, and when she tried to communicate something specific to him, he couldn't understand her, which broke his heart.

Her fever is up and she has two injury sites that are very red. The plan is to take her back into surgery Monday to remove more dead tissue.

My sister got some tough news yesterday. One of the nurses told her that the doctors expect the nurses to break down what's happening to their loved ones into layman's terms and she didn't think anyone had yet done that for my sister. She said that Amanda will be very, very critical and it will still be life and death for her for another 4 to 6 weeks. We were both shocked. We thought that, once the abdomenal stuff was healed and they started working on pelvic reconstruction that she'd be out of the woods. We were wrong.

On a lighter note, my niece who's in Grad School showed up at the hospital yesterday morning and spent the day. Last night, Don and I took the kids up, just for a few minutes, to see the family. I thought my sister might enjoy a visit from the children and it might get her mind off the situation for a few minutes. We had a grand time. They only stayed about 15 minutes, but my whole family was there. My niece began doing exercises and, before we knew it, other families in the waiting room were jumping up and joining in the agility exercise. We all laughed, loud and hard, and it was just what everyone needed. There are two other families living in this waiting room whose loved ones have been in the Trauma ICU for 2 weeks now. They have precious little fun in their lives, and we all enjoyed laughing.

Nicki has been keeping my children a fair amount for me but they've given her a bit of a hard time. Today, we were all in the kitchen and I was going over the schedule for the week. I reminded her of the day she said she could babysit and checked to make sure it was still alright with her.

"Only if the children will mind," she said.

"Children," I bellowed, deciding I needed to deal with this issue, "why is Nicki saying that she'll only babysit if you will mind. Has someone given her a hard time."

Without missing a beat, Daelyn yelled from the table, "YEP! Dane."

Our whole family cracked up. Of course, Dane had given Nicki the least amount of trouble. But we all had a good, much-needed laugh. And the kids promised to be obedient to Nicki and not harass her.

They're good children, but the stress is wearing on them, as well. I'm trying to spend today at home with them, getting chores done and being "normal", because they need that normalcy. I barked orders about chores this morning, started wash, and visited with them - normal. But it's very difficult to be "normal" when it's killing me to be away from the hospital.

I have to put my children first. I'm their mother. My niece has her mother and my sister has our mother. But my children need me.

So I smile and try to remember how to act like my niece isn't fighting for her life . . .