Bed bugs

For part of our Honeymoon, Don rented a villa in Kauai for several days. Kauai isn't the tourist hub that Maui and Hawaii are. Although there were a few hotels, the better option was the villa.

The master bedroom had a king-size bed. The hotel we had stayed in on Maui (the island we visited before Kauai) had a queen and the hotel where we spent our wedding night had a queen, also. We had never slept in a king together.

We HATED it. We made an agreement right then to never own a king-size bed. We had just experienced sleeping with another human (of the opposite sex, that is. I had shared beds with my sisters for many years growing up) and we both liked it. Then we got swallowed up by this king-size bed. We spent the whole night swimming through the bed, trying to find each other in our sleep while we dreamed of being isolated and alone. NOT a good experience.

The truth is, our vacation condo in Hilton Head has a king-size bed and I tend to enjoy it for the first two nights or so. It's nice, occasionally, to not run into another body all night long. But the novelty wears off after about two nights alone (or at least it feels like I'm alone) and we start night three plumb in the middle of the bed, snuggled up together so we won't lose each other so easily.

While we were on our honeymoon, Don had some friends move his bed into my house, so we returned to a full-size bed. I had a full-size, too, just not as nice as his and the mattress wasn't as firm and he has to have a firm mattress . . . Anyway, we spent the first 6 years or so of our marriage in a full. But, by then, we had 3 children and our bed was getting a little crowded. The children's favorite place to be was right inbetween us in our bed. That had been my favorite place, also, as a child, and Don and I put the babies between us the first night we were home from the hospital with them, so they were used to that position. However, a six-year old is a little bigger than a 3-day old. Add two more children, and full was overfull.

I asked Don if we could buy a queen-size bed, but money was tight and he didn't think we could afford it. My pregnancies had wiped out most of our reserves and a larger bed was frivolous. Then I got a subpoena for the Grand Jury. We agreed I would take my Jury pay and we would invest in a larger bed.

And so it was. For the last 7 years, we've had a queen-size bed. Much more room for the children and Don and I can even roll over in bed at night without forcing the other spouse to the floor. We've loved our full-size bed and, although the room wasn't plentiful, it was enough most of the time.

Add Dane post-surgery and Donovan to the picture. Now we have two grown (and not small) adults, a lanky 9-yr. old, and an overweight, supposed to be 17-lb. dog and the queen-size bed is getting smaller with each night. Dane slept with us again and, for some reason, when the children are in the bed with me, they gravitate towards my side. I had a tiny sliver at the edge, so small in fact that I had to sleep on my side all night, there was no room for laying flat. When the alarm went off at 1:15 so I could give Dane his next dose of pain medicine, I sat on the side of the bed pulling the right amount up in the syringe. When I turned around to dose him, he had totally taken over my spot. Once I got his medicine down and a chaser of decaf sweet tea from his sipper, I had to wake him up to have him move over. I glanced at Don's side of the bed. He could have fit the whole neighborhood on his side. There was enough room for at least two more people. He lay prone, arms and legs sprawled, taking up 3/4 of the bed himself, while Dane, Donovan and I were crammed into 1/4.

I realize the problem isn't Don. This always happens when the children are in bed with us. Even in that king-size bed at the beach. When the babies were little and I'd put them in the middle of the big bed to make it easier to nurse during the night, I'd wake to nurse and discover that this tiny little baby had managed to migrate to wherever I was in the bed. I'd nurse them, then scoot them to the absolute middle to give me some room to move. But I'd awaken later to find them pressed up against me again. Always ME. Never Don.

Nothing's changed. I move a little closer to the edge, Dane squooshes up against me. I sit on the edge, he takes my place completely.

I'm rethinking that whole king-size bed agreement-thing. The day may yet come.

Will our children still want to snuggle in the bed when they're teenagers?