Training Day

Yesterday, the boys and I had lunch with my Catholic Priest friend, Fr. John, at our favorite hangout, Pizza Hut. We love Pizza Hut because Deanna and Dane always have coupons for free pizzas through the Book-It reading program at school, Daelyn eats free, Fr. John and I can get stamps on our Buffet Card (6 stamps and you get a free meal), and Danyah (pronounced "Dan-yah") works there. Danyah is our waitress, or at least she was until they promoted her. She got so used to Fr. John meeting us there that when she saw his SUV or our van pull into the parking lot, she would prepare our table with our drinks laid out (diet soda for Fr. John, Sierra Mist for me and Deanna, and fruit punch for the boys) and begin the pepperoni personal pan pizzas for the children. It was pretty amazing to walk through the door and be met by a smiling, friendly face who told us which table was ready for us and then to approach the table to see our drinks sitting waiting. Thankfully, she never got so far ahead of us as to bill us before we arrived.

Someone other than us finally realized what an asset Danyah was to the restaurant and promoted her, so we have to start all over again training a new girl. But we hang in there, faithfully performing our duties of retraining the Pizza Hut employees.

So, today was training day, i.e. lunch with Fr. John (or Uncle Father John, as my kids call him, since we have an associate minister at our church who is also Fr. John). After having to tell the waitress what we wanted to drink, and exchanging the typical pleasantries, we got down to the serious business of the day. Fr. John desperately needed me to, once again, teach him how to make a worm out of a paper straw wrappper. Apparently, he hadn't been attentive enough to technique in our previous lesson and had been out to dinner with some friends, promising them a cool trick. When the trick never materialized, the friends were disappointed and John was frustrated, thus a refresher course in wrapper worms.

I diligently reviewed the technique, explaining as I demonstrated. Then the boys applied the water and we watched the worm wiggle. John's error, apparently, was that he had removed the wrapper from the straw, thinking he could just accordian-fold the wrapper and achieve the same result - negatory!! The wrapper must be left on the straw while it's condensed to an inch or two of crunched paper. Then, after gently removing the compressed paper, being certain to keep it compressed, you can add a drop of fluid to a spot on the worm and WATCH IT WIGGLE!!

The waitress appeared with our drinks and asked if she could get us anything else. I explained that we had to have another straw for the practicum. Although her brow knitted, she obviously knew she was in training and smiled politely, delivering a fresh straw.

Before we finished lunch, John geared up for his worm lab exercise. He began the process of pushing the wrapper down the straw. We discussed various methods of condensing the paper and I demonstrated the most effective procedure. John practiced and achieved maximum skrunch. He then removed the wrapper, paused for the drumroll, and allowed Dane to begin applying fluid one drop at a time. While we were waiting for Dane, who seemed to have difficulty getting anything in his straw, the waitress wandered over. We encouraged her to watch John's final exam.

As Dane dropped fruit punch slowly, the paper began to move. Our waitress gasped. John smiled.

It's a tough life training a new waitress, but somebody's got to do it. Danyah, wherever you are, we miss you but we're doing our best to put a happy face on lunch and bear up under the burden.