Frustration

This morning, Deanna was crying in the Boy's Room. I went in to see what was wrong and she said that Daelyn had hit her in the stomach hard and her chest hurt, she was having trouble breathing.

Sometimes, I feel like I have no answers or parenting ability. I go crazy trying to correct everything that happens. Daelyn is an active, aggressive, typical 3-yr. old boy. He's not MORE aggressive than any other. He's not MORE active than any other. He's very typical. As a matter of fact, from what I've seen when we spend time with his friends, he's probably a little less aggressive and active than most of them.

But there's always something: "Daelyn, get you shoes off the furniture." "Daelyn, don't climb on the back of the couch." "Son, don't be so rough with your brother." "Don't hit." "I'm going to have to spank you if you hit one more time." "Don't run in the house - you'll fall and get hurt." "Don't sit on the kitchen table." "Son, you're going to fall if you climb up on that stool."

Literally, at least once a minute, I'm addressing something with him. And he's a good child. My friend, Rachel, talks about not micro-managing. I'm definately a micro-manager. But these formative years are so-o-o-o-o-o important in establishing order in a child's life. And I want him to begin to understand that there are consequences to his choices - you could get hurt, you could get a spanking, you could break the furniture, you could hurt one of your siblings that you love.

Even if I choose to let some things slide, what about this hitting and hurting his siblings. I CANNOT put up with that - it's simply not an option to allow my children to be violent to each other. The home MUST be a place of solace and protection, where a child feels safe, not lives in fear of their sibling hurting them and Mom doing nothing or only giving a slap on the wrist that's forgotten before it's finished.

Deanna needed me to intervene on her behalf today. I walked into the room after the incident, Daelyn and Deanna were both crying, she was supposed to have been in her room cleaning it, I was tired and had just woken up and couldn't think real clearly, and it was hard to figure out who was REALLY at fault. Daelyn is always at fault, but there are times when he's provoked or his siblings will suggest playing a certain game, and then want him disciplined when they get hurt playing the very thing that was their idea.

So I sit here today, frustrated. I fear I've failed my daughter. And I might have failed Daelyn, as well, by allowing him to hurt his sibling with no repercussions. The playing field is too crowded for me right now and there are too many things to consider, not to mention my emotions in the midst of this. I want to be a good parent, but at times like this, I have no idea what that means.

Lord, give me the grace today to see your Will in every situation. Give me eyes that see clearly, vision that's not blurred. Help me to be YOU to my children, teaching and training with my ultimate goal of their eternal life with you always in sight. Help me to make good choices and good decisions. Help my children to learn quickly, to not be sluggish in grasping the REALLY important things in this life, like loving you, themselves, and each other. And most of all, bring your peace to our home. Amen.