Emotions are High

I don't know why I'm so emotional these days, but it seems to happen regularly. This morning, for instance, I'm worried about Dane and can't seem to stop crying. I'll get it together for a few minutes, then begin to think about him again and start to cry.

He feels terrible. I had him home all day yesterday, lying on the couch. I kept hot compresses on his head, just hoping they'd take away some of the pain. This morning, I heard voices and footsteps before my alarm went off. I heard Don leaving for work, then someone snuggled up against me on his side of the bed. I knew it was Dane.

When I moved to turn off the alarm, I rolled over facing him and put my arms around him.

"Mama, I hurt," he said, pushing his head against my body as if the warmth would somehow dissipate his pain.

"I know, hon," I told him. I DO know. That's how I felt this summer when they hospitalized me. I thought my head was exploding. "But I just don't know what to do." He's on antibiotics, steroids, I've been putting hot compresses on him and giving him Ibuprofen. The only other thing I could think of was adding a decongestant.

"Mama, would you call Dr. Harmon today and ask him if he can go ahead and operate. I just can't take this for another 2 months."

I think that's when it hit me. Thinking about Dane, so helpless, lying in my bed after his sinus surgery whimpering and saying, "I didn't know surgery would hurt so bad!" and, now, he hurts so badly he's asking to go through it again! I got very choked up.

I encouraged him to try and go to school. Focusing on something other than the pain may help him deal with it. He may not perform as well as usual, but a distraction can't be all bad. I dosed him up again before school with a decongestant, Tylenol, steroids, antibiotic, had him rinse his sinus' and put hot compresses on his head. I made sure he had my cell phone number in case he needed me. He can't spend the next two months at home with headaches. He's GOT to try and push through some.

But I did call the doctor and he has an appointment for tomorrow morning. I just hope Dr. Harmon has some answers and can offer some relief.

I'm going to go and have a good cry now.