Last year I realized that we needed to make some drastic changes in our family schedule. The children were not getting enough sleep and were very grumpy. We rushed through every weekday and the constant rushing was putting way too much stress on all of us. I decided that the children needed to get up earlier so the morning would be more peaceful. That meant going to bed sooner, which impacted dinnertime, chores, and homework. So I revised our whole family schedule.
By a month into the school year, it was obvious it was working. The children were happier, they had time to relax and play in the mornings, we were able to finish up any school work not completed (or forgotten about) the night before, and there was ample time to review scriptures, spelling words, write notes to teachers, etc.
Deanna, however, was a little perplexed.
"Mom, this year my bedtime is 7 p.m. Last year it was 8. The year before, it was 8:30. If we continue this way, by the time I get to high school, I'll be going to bed as soon as school's out!"
I couldn't help but laugh. It sure looked that way. But, truthfully, all my children require a lot of sleep and I don't want to have to live with sleep-deprived adolescents.
This year, she's in middle school and her bedtime is still 7. During the summer, we let the children stay up until 8. Truth is, they haven't yet gotten in bed by 7 and they were almost never in bed by 8 over the summer. Deanna, in particular, I worry less about. She's older and more mature and can better handle a late night occasionally.
Last week, one of her friends called and asked Deanna to meet her to practice volleyball before their game the next afternoon. Deanna snapped at her, "I'm in my pajamas. I'm going to bed. I can't meet you!" The girls had been pulled out of their last class and had spent two hours practicing volleyball. She was completely spent and had headed straight for the shower after school.
I was sitting next to her. I tapped her and quietly said, "You don't really have to be in bed at 7 tonight. You could go practice for awhile."
She glared and shushed me. Then continued the conversation with her friend.
"My bedtime's 7. I have to go to bed."
It took me a couple of minutes to figure it out. She was too embarrassed to tell her friend she was just plain worn out and wanted to climb in bed. It was less humiliating to blame her early slumber on me.
Last night, the same friend called again and asked if Deanna would practice with her. Deanna was standing at the kitchen counter, ready for bed, taking her bedtime medicine. Her half of the conversation went something like this.
"No, I'm in my pajamas. I'm going to bed. U-huh. No. 8:00, but that was during the summer. No. Seven. Yes, Seven. Seven o'clock." She turned while talking and grinned at me, a twinkle in her eye.
After hanging up, she turned to me. "They just can't understand that I go to bed at 7. She said the other girls had told her I go to bed at 8. I explained that that's my summer schedule."
"Do you need a little more sleep, darling?" I egged her on. "We could make your bedtime 6. While the rest of the world is sitting at the dinner table, you can be heading to bed."
She cracked up. The humor of a 7 p.m. bedtime for a middle-schooler hit her suddenly. It really IS funny. I know children years younger than her that routinely go to bed at 9. But perhaps they need less sleep. In our house, we KNOW we need lots of sleep and 7:00 is a VERY reasonable bedtime.
"You know, honey," I continued, "if it'll help, we can start taking you out of school at 2 so we can have dinner by 4 and you can be in the bed by 5:00!"
She grinned back at me. At least I don't have to fight her over bedtime, like so many other parents.
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