Is this Modern Math?

I've been substitute teaching in Dane's class the last two days. Yesterday went fabulously well. We flew through the morning, enjoying every minute. We got so much done that we had about an extra 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon to work on Christmas posters. I begged some soft music off of one of the other teachers and put on a nice CD, playing softly in the background while the children worked on their art. Ah! What a peaceful, joyous day.

This morning, I went in expecting another of smooth sailing. The morning went well, though drug a little more than yesterday. Then we hit the afternoon - math, right after lunch recess.

The lesson was solving for an unknown number, such as "n" or "a". I taught this same lesson to Deanna's 4th grade class last year and Deanna told me afterwards that I stunk. There were only about 6 kids in the class that got it. I got heavily critiqued that evening by a self-conscious daughter. So, here I was, facing the same lesson with children a year younger.

To add to the difficulty, the 4th graders had already been introduced to this idea in 3rd grade. However, I was teaching the 3rd graders today, making it doubly hard. I explained the concepts, clearly defined the rules (whatever you do to one side of the equation, you MUST do to the other side), then looked at the first of 3 problems they gave for the children to solve. Uh-oh! The problem began n-2=6+3. -2. The 3rd graders don't know about negative numbers yet. How do I explain to them how to make 2 equal to zero so you can isolate the n?

I tried drawing a line across the board and putting 0 in the middle, explaining that numbers below zero are written as a - number. I tried pretending there was an imaginery line through the classroom that was 0 and I took 4 giant steps to the right, then asked how I would get back to 0 again. Dead stares.

Ultimately, I decided to skip the whole negative number concept. I told them that if the equation had a minus sign, plus the same number on both sides. If it had a plus sign, minus the same number on both sides. Unfortunately, by then they were thoroughly confused.

Up next on the agenda was a speed drill. As the kids looked vacantly around the room, I knew I was in trouble. I had them put their pencils down and stand up, planning some deep breathing and exercise to clear their heads and get the oxygen pumping to their brains. Dane, on the front row, stood up and began to cry.

"What's wrong, honey?" I bellowed across the room, disturbed that my baby was crying.

"My stomach hurts and my heads hurts, Mama," he whimpered. I called him to me, placed his head against my chest and snuggled him in front of all his classmates. Dane has a stomach problem and takes medication. Last week the doctor double his medication to twice a day, but we keep forgetting to give him his morning dose. The stress of unknowns and negative numbers was just too much for him. He was really feeling sick.

I had a headache, too, as did most of the students. It was just a little too much. Finally, I encouraged the students to take their math books home and have their parents explain this concept to them. What I cop-out I am. They ought to fire me as a sub.

At a meeting I attended this evening, I asked a friend of mine about her daughter who's in Dane's class and has been out sick the last two days. The mom told me she's been running a high fever and was hallucinating but is better and will return to school tomorrow.

"All I have to say," I told her, "is that she ought to be glad she wasn't there today. She would've felt worse by the end of the day."

Perhaps the 4th grade teacher will have more luck next year. If not, they might need to consider changing the curriculum so that the introduction to solving for the unknown doesn't include a second difficult topic such a negative numbers. You can add the negative numbers into the lessons once the children have the basic concepts of unknowns down.

Either that or fire the sub.